My brothers dont get on with my partner, what should i do?

Question

when i started to date my partner my parents was very nice to him and even let him stay at there house.
My oldest brother hates him and wont tell me why. He talks to him like a child.
please give me some advice as my partners doesnt want me to have anything to do with him but he is my brother.

Answer 1

I feel for you on this one. I know what it's like. My brother and my partner were always arguing and didn't get on. It got so bad that they couldn't be in the same room as each other. It all came to a head when my brother phoned me at work to tell me that my partner was cheating on me with brothers girlfriend. This could have caused a lot of problems as most people would believe their brother. The trouble was i knew that my partner was with my mother and father when my brother said this was going on. We still don't know why my brother lied about this or caused all the problems as there seemed no other reason than a personality clash.

This time was really stressfull for me and my family. My partner was really understanding through it all and at no time did he expect me to give up my relationship with my brother, even though it was my brother causing all the problems and my partner had tried several times to make an effort. I too understood that i could not expect my partner to be in the same place as my brother as my brother would just cause problems for us.

I eventually had to tell my brother that he was being selfish towards me. I had put up with girlfriends who had been a little wierd and still i was nice and polite towards them yet he was trying to split my relationship because he didn't get on with the person i choose to love. I also told him that my relationship had nothing to do with him and like him i have to make my own mistakes.

Now my brother and partner can be out in the same place and get on. It did take a long time. I think you should be frank with your brother and your partner. Your partner should not expect you to cut ties with your brother and your brother should respect your choice in partner unless he has a really good reason otherwise and has justification for his dislike.

Hope you get this sorted out. I know how much of a nightmare it is. Be strong and don't let either of them make you do something you don't want to. Its your life and you make your decisions about who you do and don't have a relationship with.x

Answer 2

Sounds like you are in a bind. Do you have trust in your brothers ? Perhaps you should think twice before giving up family for your partner. Like Judge Judy advises, " Look at your partner carefully. He may not be your partner for long but you will always have family.

Answer 3

It sounds like there is more to this story,

Perhaps you need to have a heart to heart with your brother,

I doubt he would have ill feelings about this man for NO REASON

I have a terrible feeling your PARTNER, is not handling this correctly,

GET TO THE TRUTH OF IT, and listen to your brother, he wouldn't steer you wrong