Being in Love vs. Love?

Question

My girlfriend recently broke up with me. We had been dating for 17 months and she said that she wasnt "in love" with me. She said that she still loves me but that's not enough for her. What the hell does that mean? She's Brazilian and I'm American. Is this a cultural difference or do American girls feel the same way? I would prefer females to answer this question please.

Answer 1

Do you love your parents? Yes.
Are you in love with them? No.

Same situation.

Think about it.

Answer 2

About your situation: Since you two didn't talk about marriage then she probably just felt that she wanted to "get on with her life" and meet other people.

About your question:
I have recently been reading Save Your Marriage Before It Starts and it says that everyone defines love differently. The passionate "in love" period only lasts under a few months to a few years, depending on the person. Many married people will get to the point where they wonder if they still love someone but they won't tell anyone but a counselor. This is natural because they are probably associating love with the passion-type of "perfect" love, but there are many stages of love. There is also the book The Five Love Languages that explains that everyone has a different love style and if their idea of love is not being met then they will not feel loved. Many relationships end because they did not learn and understand these concepts that there are different stages and types of love.

Answer 3

Yes American woman feel the same way... It means she is not feeling the euphoria she did in the beginning of the relationship. She doesn't get butterflies in her stomach when your eyes meet, and smile at just the thought of you.
For some woman they can't handle losing this feeling because they believe that's what "true love" is.
But most woman will soon learn as they get older it almost always goes away, and that's when TRUE LOVE starts, that's when you love the person for everything they are, the good and the bad. And you don't need butterflies in your stomach to prove it to yourself.

Answer 4

Well first off I am very sorry, you are probably heartbroken. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half so I can imagine you and her were on the same level as I am with my boy. If for some reason, I stopped being in love with him, yes I would still love him because of the person he is. I'm sure she still cares about you and loves you in that sense. I just think its odd she waited this long to tell you that. You need a woman that is absolutely crazy in love with you and will take care of you...try your best to move on, you deserve it.

Answer 5

Surprisingly, I actually understand what she means. There really is a difference between being in love versus loving someone.

You can love so many people; your best friend, your parents, brother/sister, but it's different to be IN love with someone. I don't know how & I really don't know why, but they are two different concepts. Being in love basically means completely giving your heart away, without a doubt. Loving usually means less commitment? I'm not sure.

But I understand where your ex is coming from. hahah hope this was of some help :) I'm now confused myself...

Answer 6

"In love" is a fine, euphoric, breathless feeling that makes you anxious to see the object of your affection. It's that time of the relationship when you can't keep your hands to yourself; when you daydream about your crush, and talk about him all the time with your girlfriends. You go through a store, and you look at stuff and think, "Oh, he would like that". You go around, almost holding your breath, expecting to see him at any time.
"Love"....well, love is a deep, warm feeling of affection. It may or may not be sexual, or it may have been sexual and no longer is. It's a feeling that you know a person well, and that they know you well, and you are comfortable with that feeling. It means that deep down on some level they are a part of you and you a part of them. You don't panic when they are away because you know they aren't going to leave you.
"Love" is contentment with a relationship and how that relationship turned out. "In love" is looking for that contentment.

Answer 7

There is a big difference. Love is when you care about someone and love them, like the way you love your mom. Being in love is a lot deeper, like the way you love your significant other. I don't think it is a cultural difference, it's just that people are different no matter what culture they are. Do you see what I am saying?

Answer 8

This is a silly excuse they give you for setting their sights on somebody else, somebody else caught their eye it happens all the time and people just make excuses for it, men do it to, its just part of the mating ritual, the whole "in love thing" is nothing more than an inner desire that wont last, what you need to do is find a friend that will stay with you even after the fireworks die down

Answer 9

You can love a friend, but "being in love" involves all the romantic feelings. She's probably trying to tell you that she cares about you, but she doesn't feel the same way she felt at the beginning of the relationship. She's probably looking for that giddy rush you get from romance.

Answer 10

I'm not a female, but I have enough experience with girls to know what's wrong with them. It seems like I have to translate, she loves you alright, but she's not sure that you love her. If I were you, I would show her my love for her. There are a lot of ways to do it, you just have to be creative.

Answer 11

I think she just feels that your not for her, she cares deeply about you, but doesn't feel that you are who she feels she can go any furthur with in a relationship.

Now! this should not be taken as an insult or something to get mad at, because you need to start seeing things from her perspective, how she might see the relationship.
Just be open minded to being friends with her, if it doesn't work out, don't hurt yourself over it and move to bigger better things!.
I hope that this is helpful! :).