My son's biological father was never around to help out in any way, my son is in his teens and I don't know how to tell or help him out whenit comes to his personal issues! and all of a sudden his father wants to be in his life. Is it right of him to just come into our life again after all these years, and now that I'm Happy where I'm at with my Husband. my husband even named my son after him?
2007-11-08 06:13:02 · 3 answers · asked by shibuddy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ask your son what he'd like to do.... let him know you aren't pushing him either way...
It's YOUR SON'S life... and if he doesn't want to see his biological father, then he shouldn't have to... on the other hand, if he does want to see him, then go ahead and let him.... do it for his sake.
Your son may end up sorely disappointed with the guy, who knows? But at least you gave him the opportunity to choose for himself.
As far as YOU are concerned, you are happy, and have moved on with life. There is no reason for your ex's presence to change that...
take care.
2007-11-08 06:33:11 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Let your issues be laid aside on this one. Your son should be the one to say no if he chooses. If he chooses to go with him....please don't be upset with him for going. I don't think you could blame him for wanting to see his father. Were issues surrounding custody and the divorce the reason he disappeared. Look back honestly and give yourself an honest answer...if he just needed to grow up...or what ever the reason, you had this child with him. He is half his and your son should be able to see him with out any guilt. This is about your son and not about his father.
2007-11-08 06:21:00 · answer #2 · answered by Rein 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was raised without my biological father. My Mother's husband adopted me when I was seven. I still think of him as my father. It is natural for your son to be curious about his natural father. I was. I think it would be good for him to form his own judgements on his father. I do understand how you probably feel that he is coming around now that your son is almost grown. It is good that he is making an effort now though he shoild ahve been their for him then. My parents never gave me the option to see him even though they knew I wanted to. When my natural father died I hated them for stopping me from seeing him. My Mother now says she wished she had been able to put aside her personal anger at him and her fear of what my adopted father would do and let me know him for myself. I have since become a part of his family and have learned so much about my Dad I wish I could have known from him. It was hurtful that he waited so long to try and be a father to me, but he was just not ready when I was born. I found out that he thought about me a lot and got photos of me from mutual family friends. He was so afraid I would hate him but wanted to try and see me once I became 18. Now it is too late. I forgave him for it and have come to know it is ok for me to love both my fathers. I would caution you to be ready for some emotional drama from your son. My father was very different from what I imagined. Real people usually are so it will take time for him to adjust from the father he imagined and the father he is. If his father does not stick around much after the initial curiousity it will hurt but that is a part of life too. Trust me when I say the not knowing is harder.
2007-11-08 06:24:32 · answer #3 · answered by gothamgrrlz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋