Have I made the right decision to leave?

Question

I've been going to a church in my old home-town for many years now, and this week I told someone that I was gonna start going to another one, but didn't state to them why. And there is a reason why I didn't tell them, because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. But for a long while now, I have felt shunned by my peers: I would more often than not be left out of gatherings or other outside events, I would be ignored by people my own age, and I would sometimes be criticized for my actions, regardless of whether I knew better or not. One person in particular bullied me at school, which is hypocritical. As a youth of the church, I try to volunteer to speak/act/whatever for youth services, but always end up being forgotten about or told I'm not suitable for the task. For these reasons, and more, I've decided to move to another church. But some people aren't happy with me about it either. Have I made the right choice to leave, or am I unintentionally seeking attention?

Ok, I think some people might have the wrong idea about my question. I have not been going to church for almost all my life on the sole purpose of socializing...I go every week because I want to grow in faith. I did not decide to move churches in hopes that I would get more attention, I decided to move because I'm finding it difficult to focus on growing in faith with the way things are going at the moment. I'm struggling greatly at the moment because I don't get any support from any of the youth leaders or any of my peers.

Answer 1

If you have done what God wanted you to do it is right.

Answer 2

Danny, have you talked with anyone on staff about your problems in this church? Or are they part of the problem? If you could work through this problem in your church that would be the best deal. However, if your situation is as you say, I would say it is probably time to try another church. I'm not in favor of hopping from church to church, but sometimes a person has to move on. I'm sorry you've had these rotten experiences, thankfully not all churches are the same. I hope you find a place of fellowship and service where you can worship happily! I don't think you are just attention seeking. The problem seems real and needs attention.

Answer 3

If you are going to move churches to further your growth and understanding of your beliefs, then yes, you are making a great decision. I don't think you owe it to anyone at the old church as to why you are leaving. Faith is a personal choice and you are choosing to express your faith somewhere else.

If your hopes are that some in your church will make a big deal of you leaving and beg you to stay, then yes, its aworng decision. Your actions should be about expressing your faith and growing, not for personal satisfaction or glory.

I've recently changed churches because I didn't get much out of the church I attended. I liked the people there, but it was more of a social thing than me growing spiritually. Keep in mind that the human element may cause some to be mad at you, but it sounds like you aren't losing much since they aren't including you.

Good luck and search around for churches until you find the right one for you.

Answer 4

Wether some people accept your decision or not, I think you've made the right choice to go to another church. But there aren't any guarantees that the new place will be any nicer or more accepting of you. Almost everyone likes a pat on the back or words of praise...you are seeking attention...well deserved attention. good luck.

Answer 5

I had this problem in my own church growing up, and into my young adult years...being shunned not only by peers, and other youth group members, but by my pastor...
I fought with strong dislike for the ppl in the church...and still attended...for many years into my adulthood...ive come to realize that when i go to church im goin there to hear from God...not man...man will fail you everytime b/c he isnt perfect...

I cant say you were right for leaving or that you were wrong...and neither can anyone else...
if you felt that the Lord lead you to leave than that is all the reassurance you need...
you can't please man...our flesh is never satisfied...
so dont focus on others...focus on God and your relationship with him!!
God bless you!!

Answer 6

well, maybe your personality is horrible. If that isn't it, then maybe you did. I have to tell you though, that no matter where you go there will be people that mistreat you. You have to learn to deal with people like that or else you will never keep a job, a church, or be a part of anything! You can't just get up and leave every time you feel like your not getting a fair treatment. Maybe you should voice your opions with them, because they can't change it if they don't know. I think you are being unfair to them and yourself by not being honest. I think if you don't give people the chance to explain themselfs, or to change, then you are the one at fault. If you voice it and nothing changes, then leave.

Answer 7

As someone who was/ is on the margins, I was moved by God to a new country, Now I am in a church where I have plugged into the choir, prayer ministry team, I'm a youth leader myself and try to include everyone, ... I am still not welcomed by my age peers.... I think the colour of my skin and sex does not help.... white females are not always receptive to black females but will accept the black males!!!!......
Anyway I am happy in my ministries and belong to other networks in the Church so I'm OK.
Find where you are happy and free to worship DESPITE OTHERS..... that is where you belong......


Feel free to get in touch !!!!

Answer 8

Absolutely you have made the right decision. The people in that church have hurt you, and you deserve to be somewhere people love you and respect you. I think you should tell the youth minister or your pastor why you are leaving, though.

I'm much older than you are, but I've been treated that way before by church bodies, and it turned me off attending church for many years.

Answer 9

from the sound of it you knew this have been on the enjoying cards for an prolonged time yet in simple terms bumbled via besides.what you have finished isnt incorrect or something to experience undesirable approximately,,interior the to blame way i recommend. it style of feels your dating has come to a standstill and there is little factor attempting to make it into some thing you the two are conscious of it isnt. it somewhat is often no longer ordinary while a pair destroy up yet you the two have been on the comparable direction and neither of you will desire to experience you will desire to settle and it ought to be painful now yet once you the two meet somebody who does provide you what this dating lacked you will the two be chuffed you parted without all of it turning nasty. particularly now than asserting 'i do' and understanding you dont.

Answer 10

If you are not happy with your church, you have two choices: try to change things or leave.

Everyone has the right to belong to a church where they can be happy, comfortable, and focus on the reason they are there.

Answer 11

nothing wrong with going somewhere else..............to be a better person and to get away from those who are not......

Whats best is to start going to God ...and not mans buildings for socializing events..thats what most church services have become..case in point your question..........

I left the so called church to............when i found out its not the Real Church...............

and i to was called many things and was defamed cause i wouldnt follow thier traditions and customs...........Cause they are man made and not God made.............and the Bible says that the Traditions of men have made Gods word of no effect !!

One reason why so many now dont believe........is cause of so called christians in buildings such as that....playing a part or a role and living Nothing...........and They left God out !!

So Go where your lead to Go..But if you must go....Go to one that is at least Preaching the Word and not thier own ideas , or customs.........there isnt many left i'm afraid !!!

And the REAL CHURCH......is leaving the building..made with mans hands........