Hi, I have a serious situation, my 11 years step daughter, who doesn't like me much because her mother keep poisioning her mind against me.I tried my best to win her heart but all in vain.We are planning to go on long trip, wherever she goes with us, she keeps nagging, crying, throw tantrums and non stop talking. She won't let my husband discuss any serious matter even for one minute. She is very verbal and has lots of anger. Previously, I tried to take some music cds, Nintendo, books, her fav. food and toys. She has no interst in anything. All she wants attention and keep talking non-stop. Sometime, its annoying and give me headches. My husband won't go anywhere without her.And If I am holding my husband's hand, she will take him away and then I have to walk alone behind them. She is the only child so very spoiled, and my husband won't say anything to her. Now, I am very stressed and afraid going with her and I can't say no to my husband either, then it means I will stay home alone.
2007-11-08 05:35:19 · 3 answers · asked by truecolor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Why are you walking behind when your husband clearly (well, probably) has two hands? When his daughter takes one he should be holding out the other one to you. If he's not you've got bigger problems in the relationship and his daughter is only a symptom of them.
Look, sit down with your husband and have a discussion about rules for behavior for this trip. And make sure he knows that the rules are for 1) her and how she's going to treat both of you, for 2) you and how you're going to treat her and him and for 3) HIM and how he's going to treat you and her. Come up with these rules before you go on the trip and make sure he has the backing to make them stick. Both of you sit down with his daughter and tell her straight up that these are the rules for all of you and that he expects her to follow them.
Then give her the responsibility to decide what to bring to keep herself busy *part of the time* while you're traveling. Give her a budget and some ideas but let her make the choices. Some good ideas would be to buy a portable DVD player and then give her money for a new movie or two. Or money for magazines, books and music. Plan to spend some time talking with her. Car rides can be great times for bonding verbally and it's unrealistic to expect her to be quiet for long during a long trip in a confined space.
2007-11-08 11:08:08 · answer #1 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take her to the store with me and let her pick out a few thigs she can do in the car on the trip. Let her pick out what she wants. READING is always good too. Read to eachother. Magazines Teen Beat???? And I kind of get that you aren't really into her either. And kids that age who have divorced parents do allott of annoying things for attention.
So, since your with him all the time, why not bite your tongue and just try this trip to go out of your way to give her ALL the attention. Keep a conversation going where you can all 3 add into it. Make her feel like she is the one and only. You might be surprised at the outcom.
And after this trip I would sit down and have a lil chat with my husband and tell him LOOK I don't walk behind, or get treated like crap either here. You can be nice about it. And wait till the trip is over. But I wouldn't be treated like that when my step child was around. And no matter what her mom fills her head with...................you need to be the bigger women and let her see for herself her mom is off her rocker.
Best of luck sweetie
2007-11-08 05:50:59 · answer #2 · answered by jungljn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The child is acting out because, deep down, she feels she's been abandoned by her father and you are trying to take him away from her... it's very common.
Her mother's negative talk doesn't help, either, but you can't control what her mom says.
Children of divorce suffer deep, emotional pain... and when a parent remarries, sometimes it's not the most pleasant of situations.
Perhaps you could try therapy to find out how to deal with this, or even check a major book store or library for books which deal with this subject... it's all about the aftermath of divorce... it's NOT your fault.
take care.
2007-11-08 05:42:54 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋