I am divored with joint custody of my kids. I am moving back in to my house in July of 2008. I got the house in the divorce and told her she could stay there until july 2008. Okay so I find myself with the kids about 75% of the time. I take them to all of thier practices, school functions, etc. She doesn't go to any of their events. Also, she doesn't get home until 7:00 at night from work. I pick up the kids after school and make them dinner and help with homework. She doesn't make dinner but orders take out and then she sits outside and smokes and talks on her cell phone while the kids watch TV or play X-BOX.
I am thinking of asking for full custody. Am I being fair to her? She isn't a bad mom; she doesn't abuse the kids or anything, but she doesn't pay attention to them or their needs. What are my chances of getting custody?
2007-11-08 05:18:04 · 8 answers · asked by mickey n 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It sounds like you already have the majority of the custody. What is your motivation for wanting more? Do you feel that you would like to receive child support? If that is not the issue, then why not leave it how it is. It is important for children to have both parents involved with them as much as possible. I have 50/50 custody with my ex. He doesn't always do things the way that I would do them....what is important to me is that our child is happy. She is. Talk to your children and see how they feel when their mom is with them. If they aren't bothered by it, then you shouldn't be either. Please don't ask them in such a way that you are putting their mother down...this will cause problems. Just talk to them and ask something like...how did it go at moms, what did you do, how did YOU feel about that. I think this is the best way to go. You probably don't agree, it sounds like you are upset, it is hard to let go and let the other do as they decide to do. Good luck with what ever you do. Detaching and our daughters happiness has brought peace in all of our lives...she feels very loved and happy.
2007-11-08 06:14:45 · answer #1 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Though she is not spending time with them in the way you think she should be, she is not abusing them. As long as they are fed, clean, sheltered and in a somewhat safe environment then the law isn't really going to consider it much.
It's a little mean to be thinking about taking her children away from her. I've seen many ex-husbands in the same situation (ignoring the kids, workaholic, bringing other women over, etc) and they still get to see their kids.
If anything, you should confront her about her behavior towards her children. If she refuses to change or see a problem with the way she's parenting then you better start saving up for a good lawyer if you're intent on getting full custody.
I don't agree with what she's doing at all, but I don't know how the law will feel. Best of luck to you, friend. :)
2007-11-08 13:28:13 · answer #2 · answered by Starr 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I really think that because she's NOT an unfit mother, getting full custody will be really tough. You could always consult a father's advocacy group and see what they say. But really, unless she's a drug addict or alcoholic that can't provide for her kids, I don't think it would work out going for full custody.
I wish you lots of luck though! Enjoy the time with your kids and focus on them. I know it's a hard pill to swallow, but really, courts don't really change custody unless there are unfit parents involved.
Also, ever think of parenting classes? As in CO-parenting? I know it's probably a long shot, but maybe she'd go. Don't say "you aren't doing this" but talk and make suggestions as to what you two can do as parents. Maybe she'd go if you went also....it may be the last thing you want to do, but your kids will be happier for it in the long run. After all, it's about them! :)
2007-11-08 13:28:46 · answer #3 · answered by Momto2inFL 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Explain to her how you feel and tell her that if things dont change you'll file for full custody. It doesnt seem like she exactly means to be like that but doesnt see how she is and how its effecting your children. My mom is the same way and she doesnt see a problem with it. Try filing to where you have the kids majority of the time she gets them on the weekends or something like that. Talk to your children ask what they want.
2007-11-08 13:37:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think how would you feel if she tired to get full custody of the kids, you'd be heartbroken...and she probably would too. The kids are not just yours, they are hers to so be considerate of each other feelings, as well as whats best for the children...and having both parents in their lives, as long as their not abusive, is whats best.
2007-11-08 13:33:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunatly ... not good ...but with a good lawyer the chances are better... it seems you should have full custody...but the courts tend to rule in the mothers favor. You should bring this up with your ex if she doesn't fight it you may not have to go to court.
2007-11-08 14:30:45 · answer #6 · answered by Itsstillme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to a family law attorney for advice... we aren't lawyers here...
also, seeing how you continue to do everything for the kids, you are enabling her to do whatever SHE wants to do....
2007-11-08 13:28:32 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
zero
2007-11-08 13:21:37 · answer #8 · answered by sympathy4theDEVIL 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋