Could my dads absence be responsible for my actions?

Question

I am 16 years old and my parents divorced when I was 8. I nver thought that it would have an affect on me like it has. I have done things that my parents never dreamed I would do. At the age of 14 I had sexual intercourse and tried on 2 counts to have a baby. I have been asking myself if my dads absence could be to partially blame for this but I'm not going to blame him completely. I don't even know how to explain to my mom that I may need to spend a little time with him for a while because she feels like his lifestyle is too much for me and all he's gonna do is let me grow up and be a teenager. I know how much it will hurt but it seems like he wants to be in my life but she keeps pushing him away

It seems like if I go and stay with him then she'll bail out on me, if I stay without a dad then it seems like my actions will never change. No one can change me but me but I just feel like maybe because he hasn't been there for me it's starting to show dramatically. I mean what would you do? How can I convince my mom that staying with my dad for a while could possibly save me from further damage in the future?

Answer 1

Perhaps you are suffering from abandonment issues... this could be the reason why you tried to get pregnant.. and i'm glad you did not.... you are too young to take on the responibility of a child, and hon, your body is ill-equipped for pregnancy right now... you need time to mature physically a little more.

You might get good advice by talking to your school counselor about this, and see what they say? Tell the truth, and what you said here...

Moving in with your father isn't going to solve your problems, either.... running away from yourself is not possible. A better course of action might be to face your feelings and unresolved life issues, and to develop some good coping skills. A therapist can help with these issues, if you work toward change.

take care...

Answer 2

I am sorry for what you have gone through BUT....

There may be circumstances that affect you but no one is responsible for YOUR decisions and choices. There are lots of people who have distant parents or no parents at all. Everyone gets to make a choice to let their past rule their present or not. It's up to you to make GOOD choices for you that will help you and not harm you.

Personal choices. You are responsible for you.

Don't be a victim. Change your patterns so you can live a full healthy life.

Answer 3

you are old enough to tell your mom you want to stay with your dad. If she gets mad so be it, but it is important that you build a relationship with your father. He also needs to step up and tell her it isn't going to be her way anymore. Is she bitter toward him about the divorce? Sounds to me she is trying to punish him for something. She shouldn't use you to get back at him. As far as your actions, I would say there could be a connection. Kids need both parents (or male and female role models) to get a balance. As far as his lifestyle, unless he is just partying it up, then what would be her concern? You need to tell your mom you want to see your dad more. She needs to let find out for yourself about your dad.

Answer 4

Could my dads absence be responsible for my actions?

That's all I needed to read. In your past yes, presently your answer is NO, only because you are aware of how his absense could and has effected your life..Flip it, and reverse it=)

Answer 5

Suppose your dad had died? Would you still blame him for your actions? You need a wake up call and realize it's all up to you what direction you want your life to take.