A sincere but weird question for all?

Question

I am a happily married Christian man who loves his wife dearly.
But like most men (not all), I get distracted by scantilly-clad women in public. The way some girls dress tells me that they desire the attention.......and it also reflects on the way they were raised by their parents.

I'm not generalizing all women here.......most of the women my wife & I know are from our church and dress very modestly & appropriately.

I guess my question is:
Why do this? Don't they realize that if they're flaunting it......they're asking for trouble?

I believe this parallels a spiritual battle......which is why I've asked it here.

Thanks,

Primo

Sorry about that Fireball.....I didn't think of that. I really do apologize

When I say scantilly, I mean slutty.
It's degrading to yourself to leave the house looking like that.

I do not condone rape at all.....and regardless of how a woman dresses....no one deserves to be violated in that way. Please don't misunderstand me......I do not condone rape in any way!

Answer 1

well first, everybody likes a bit of attention. i think i "have" it, so i always dress to highlight "it"

back in highschool i used to dress trampy because it got me tons of attention from guys, and my childhood was pretty lousy and really lacking attention, not to mention that my father walked out on us leaving us to grow up in dire straights.

quite frankly, whether they admit it or not, most girls who grow up without a positive male role model in their immediate life, end up looking for that attention elsewhere.

and no, they don't think they're asking for trouble, they just think they look good and want others to notice. although i have to say that if you dress like you're ready for sex, then you have to expect that somebody someday will take you up on that whether you like it or not. and like yourself, i'm certainly not justifying rape, but look at it this way - the more you drive in a car, the more your chances are of getting into an accident.

my 12 yr old dressed as a "sexy" pirate yet she was covered virtually head to toe. she looked very attractive (for a 12 yr old) but didn't need to show off her body to do so. it was a great opportunity for us to talk about what "sexy" actually is because many girls her age are already dressing like tramps. personally i don't see how a parent could let them do that, but that's another story.

anyway, i have it and i flaunt it by wearing things that look sexy but still leave something to the imagination, and i certainly don't have a hard time turning a man's head. (even when i'm NOT wearing the devil fairy costume lol)

Answer 2

Wow. Good one. This would be particularly unnerving for a Catholic, because while my husband could remarry if I was presumed (and declared) dead, my popping up four years later would be very stressful indeed because a remarriage when the former spouse is still alive means one can't receive Holy Communion -- and of course he and his new bride would have been doing so all that time -- to say nothing about whether their marriage would be considered valid. I'm sure things would get worked out with the Church eventually, but in the meantime what a mess. If the news of his second marriage was broken to me in the same way as in the movie, by a mutual friend, I'd think very seriously about just not contacting him at all if it weren't for the kids -- and ours are grown, but obviously I'd still want to be a part of their lives. How could I have blamed him for going on with his life, and what would be gained by showing up and saying "surprise, I'm still here"? I love my husband far too much to put him in that kind of untenable position. And his new wife would be totally innocent, yet having her world turned upside down. No, thanks. I don't think anyone would come out a winner there. So if I could somehow renew contact with my kids without him knowing ... that's what I'd do.

Answer 3

For women the culture values attractiveness. When a woman dresses modestly do the guys notice her? Or is she seen as "uptight" with a "stick up her butt" is how I have heard it described. I have been approached on line by some interesting guy who I may like to get to know. But then they try to turn the conversation to sexual preferences and I refuse to discuss it before I have even met them. Suddenly I am accused of most likely being "frigid" or some other sort of nonsense.
Come-on guys-if you are nurtured in to thinking the only value you have for society is being attractive then you are going to seek confirmation that you are by dressing for attention instead of dressing modestly. Men are said (by many) to have egos which are guarded or easily bruised. Women get inferiority complexes if they are over looked. So the guys attention is what they are after-not to be "flashing it" for some unknown devious reason. Not "asking for trouble" as you assume it to be.
The best defense a parent can have is for the father to treat her so well that her self esteem can remain intact as she fights off the male "Whore mongers" that are after her. She is less likely to compromise herself to please a guy or seek out that sort of attention in the first place.

Answer 4

To all the guys out there that think it's ok for women to dress as sex objects, is this how you would want your daughter to dress if/when you have one and she's a teen?

To all the girls out there that think it's ok and it's all the guys fault for looking, I guess you know you are part of the reason the radical Muslims call us the "Great Satan".

Good question Primo. It is another one of those "God is going to have to change people's hearts" things, because the non-Christian worldview is going to see things this way:

1 John 1:15 "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world."

In light of that verse, look back over the negative responses you got and see if they don't all correspond in some way....
unless you are looking @ things the way God does instead of human nature, it's all going to be about selfish lust, greed, and/or pride.

Answer 5

The problem is that you seem to think your opinion is the bottom line. I respect you a lot, Primo, but you need to understand that not everyone views a "scantily clad" woman the same way you do, nor does every woman who dresses that way think she is setting herself up to get into trouble. I think I should be able to dress however I want. I was raised by excellent parents, I have a college education, and I am a confident and comfortable woman who does not need attention from men to feel validated, but that doesn't mean I don't like to feel sexy sometimes.

Answer 6

Primo, girls can dress the way they want outside the church but the Apostle Paul warns that women must not dress fancy and attractive clothes inside the church. As Christian men we have to resist the temptation of attractive women.

May God rain you with blessings

~Michael

Answer 7

It is natural and normal for a man to notice a woman who is flaunting their body (dressing immodest) It is a woman's responsibility not to tempt men in this way and the man's responsibility to stop looking.

Sadly, it is human nature to want this kind of attention although all women have the same equipment. Young girls should be taught this by their parents. I know when I was a teenager, I would have been embarrassed for my dad to see me dressed some of the ways that girls dress today.

People, the trouble that they are asking for is that men will be attracted to them for sex only and not for themselves. Sex is beautiful if, you love and are married to the person that you are having a sexual relation with.

Answer 8

Attention, fine. Gawked at, fine.

In for trouble? Wth?

I should be able to walk naked down the street and not have it be an issue. If I choose to put on heels, a short skirt and a low cut top to go out with my girlfriends you are of course invited to look, to ogle, to drool....

You are NOT allowed to do anything else! Don't give me this B.S. that I'm asking for trouble. Keep your hands to yourself and your penis in your pants. If men can't handle that, then don't you think the problem may lie elsewhere than how someone is dressed?

Get some self control and don't you dare judge a woman by how she dresses. Hypocritical chauvanistic behavior.

Answer 9

some women are uncouth or downright inept when it comes to fashion. haven't you ever seen that show "What Not To Wear".
If it's adults you are talking about, I don't think it's fair to say it's because of how their parents raised them. Each person is responsible for their own behavior. If it's teenagers and young adults you are talking about, thats just how kids are. i'm sure i horrified my parents with the way i dressed.
and what do you mean when you say these women are "asking for it"? asking for what? asking for you to make a broad assumption about their mom and dads parenting skills, based on how YOU think she should dress?
only a finger pointer could make a connection between clothing style and a spiritual battle

Answer 10

Girls like attention, that is that. Yes I find it sad they dress this way. I always let my daughter know that God wants us to dress modestly-- not cause men to look at us and lust. When women dress this way it does cause men to lust, for men are weak in that area. But the whole "if you got it flaunt it" saying really bugs me. This is how the world is going...women like to show their skin so men will look at them, it makes them feel good somehow. And I think we should teach our daughters NOT to dress this way. I know I do- there are definate standards for lengths of skirts and shorts, and shirts! She is 9 now and so reaching that pre teen age. There are a lot of cute clothes out there that are not sexed up!