rough times or bad sign?

Question

jumped into a relationship with this guy and we moved in together. Been with him for 5 months now. I love him but we fight a lot. He plays World of Warcraft ALL THE TIME! If he's not doing that then he's playing console games. Sometimes he'll play until the early hours of the morning and then hop into bed expecting sex. If we happen to go out and do anything on the weekend it's because I planned it. I keep the apartment clean and he'll clean something only if nag him to death about it.I used to feel like I knew him my whole life and know I feel like I don't know who he is at all. He says I nag too much, and I've tried to back off but damn it I'm so bored with our relationship. I try to tell him how i feel and he just gets angry and plays more games.I've never been in a long term relationship so i'm wondering if something is wrong with me like maybe i'm sabotaging it. Also wondering if we just need to work through rough times or if this is a bad sign

Answer 1

Drop him and look for someone else. He's a loser and you know it. You deserve better than him.

Answer 2

I think that happens to some of us. My story seems like yours except that, even though it batters me, I let him play and don't nag. Well the cleaning part it does bugs me alto. But, let it go. If he means a lot to you and you know he is the one you will be spending the rest of your life with, try to make it work. If not don't waste your time on him. Put in a valance all his good and bad and if there is only this wrong with him I think is great. Think about it he could be out pending money, drinking, out with Friends all the time. Find things you can do on your own, is hard at first but then you can get use to it. If he loves you, he will look for you and the more you stay away the more he will miss you. Let it go for a while and if he still doesn't pay attention to you then let him know how you feel. Do it when you are not upset. Life is too short enjoy it.

Answer 3

You didn't allow yourself enough time to get to know this guy... He doesn't sound like a bad person, he just likes playing video games in his spare time and it's probably what he did before he met you. All you can do is tell him now you feel and then see what he does with it. I do understand your frustration, but you're still wet behind the ears when it comes to relationships because i've been in a 7yr relationship and let me tell you, What you're experiencing is a cake walk... trust me, you could be complaining about those text messages from other women or why he always comes home so late and I can think of many more reasons. You're gonna have to find things for the two of you to do.
I even play video games with my boy friend, get involved in the things he finds intresting and that can be a good segway into you inviting him to do the things that you like. You're not sabotaging the relationship and he is being a bit of a bore, but you just need to find a way to get him involved.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

I was there too...as the gamer. When we first got married I was into Ultima Online. I can't say I was as into it as your guy, bit I was pretty bad. My wife talked to me and I sold the account, and bought her a new TV with the cash. Since then I've stayed away from on-line gaming.

I still play games, but I've learned to manage my free time and my relationship. I KNOW what my priorities are, and games are not high on the list. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same. I have friends that have been addicted to on-line games for YEARS.

I would have a heart to hear talk. Express your concerns, and if you do not feel that you're getting this support right away, I'm sorry to say, but it's time to move on. DO NOT throw out ultimatums unless you intend to follow through. If you tell him you're moving out, do so. If you don't, he'll know you don't follow through on your word.

Your situation sounds frustrating. I wish you luck. Maybe, like me, he'll get the hint, but I would not hold my breath.

Good luck

Answer 5

If you are telling the whole story, it sounds to me like you guys don't have very much in common. You seem to need someone who likes to go out, and he seems to need someone who likes to stay in and play video games. Since you have only been together 5 months, perhaps you should ask him out to dinner, explain how you feel, and if he says that he does not want to change, and you certainly sound like you don't want to change, then it's time to move on. If he says he's having a hard time now, and this is not his normal behavior, then perhaps you may want to stay around and provide support, but to me, it sounds like a bad sign.

Answer 6

Seems like you are depending on him to entertain you. Not his job or responsibility. Guys love video games and will play them in excess. Don't you have any hobbies or friends to keep you busy? Being in a relationship doesn't mean you spend all of your time together. Having things that are your own are also important in helping you maintain individuality.

Lastly, and most importantly - get a handle on your nagging. If you want to give this relationship a shot, that's got to stop. Nothing will send him running quicker or turn him bitter toward you faster.

Answer 7

Usually a person's true colors come out when you move in together and it's either for the best or the worst. The only thing you can do is keep talking to him about it and if he can't handle that, then move on. He needs to spend his time on you; that's what a relationship is all about - working together.

Answer 8

A bad sign, since he is acting childish and not putting much into the relationship. He only acts the way he does because you allow it. I say put his butt out and you move on with your life. Who needs the headache? Best Wishes!!

Answer 9

sorry to say, but bad sign. it sounds like he is not mature enough to really handle a live in commitment and it sounds like you could use some more experience as well. I would ease toward moving out and letting things cool off a bit.

Answer 10

Umm, if hes playing videogames more than hes playing with you, theres def. a problem. If all he expects is sex, get out of the relationship.

Answer 11

Bad Sign. Next.