My 3 year old is so angry all the time and she is always lashing out and being rude!!! WHY?

Question

I'm losing my mind with her and I just don't know what to do! I've tried everything I could think of. Any suggestions?

I don't give her soda or candy, she is in bed at 8 pm everynight, she gets time out, toys takin away, and I DON'T lash out back at her. She gets most of myattentionand not always in a negative way!

Answer 1

I am guessing that the 3 year old is treated like a king/queen, the same way I was when I was a kid. Some get "back to reality" *** beatings will do it. Your kid needs to know that the world does not revolve around her/him and that you are the boss.

Don't want to do that? Then enjoy the next 15 years minimum of torture.

Answer 2

She is testing you. She is looking to see how far she can push you. If she eats well and gets to bed and has enough sleep that is half the battle. I would go down to her eye level and tell her in a calm voice she needs to stop the rude remarks and fits as the next one she will be punished. Having a child sit in a corner for 3 minutes is a life time. I am sure you have tried it all and it is easier said then done but the calmer you are (which is the hard part) the more it will work. Good Luck

Answer 3

Children eventually realize that adults know more than they do and secretly feel safe when adults have control over the situation. They'll push a wishy washy adult. If you're consistent, it'll be better for the both of you. When you say "no," mean it. Don't give in because she whines or becomes angry. When you threaten her with a consequence, make sure it's something you can and will follow through on. Avoid saying things like "I'll throw all your toys away," if that's not something you're really going to do. If there isn't any reason that she should be very angry- like abuse or neglect- then she's probably pushing you to be a stronger adult.

Answer 4

Does she have a father and a mother in her life? Is she passed off from sitter to sitter so mommy can work? Does she have 5 small healthy meals a day? Does she get gross motor and fine motor activities? Does she watch less then 1 hour of TV a day? Does she have playmates to play with? Does she get to go outside at least once a day?

When did such behavior start? That should give you a clue. Something is not right in HER life. I never give a time out or take toys away. I get to the root of the problem.

Answer 5

She is seeking attention and you are giving it to her. She has learned that a temper tantrum will get her what she wants. You have not tried everything because the situation exists and you are desperate.

Get professional help. You may try a little application of ignoring her and perhaps punishment of some kind . Denying TV, or toys or games, sit in a corner for a period or go to room and even a swat on her bum. A gentle one will get the idea across. Remember that - "Spare the rod and spoil the child" has not come about by accident.

Answer 6

Mmm...kids have problems just like adults. So, she may need to see a child therapist. There could be something she's trying to express.

Or, you know what, some kids are just manipulative. They will do what they can get away with and embarrass you in public.

She could be picking up behaviors from others as well.

Kids are so fragile, but also are smarter than we think. Yes, they are impressionable, but also are able to play on you emotions from day one of birth. They learn a cry or shriek will make you act a certain way.

Just some things to think about.

Answer 7

3 year olds go through this phase. My daughter could turn her anger on and off like a lightswitch at that age, but she would be an angel aroud other people so they never believed me. Usually the worst of it came when she was bored, or had to make a transition from one thing to the next. My suggestion is, keep her as physically occupied as possible (lots of excercise). Then you need to be very strict with discipline (never hit). Use three minute or less time outs, take away toys or privillages, and use a strict and serious voice, and always stand your ground. Do not tolerate rudeness, because it will only get worse.

Answer 8

Start focusing on the things she is doing right and make a big deal out of it. Reward her for good behavior and ignore the bad behavior. Try asking her why she is so angry and rude.

Ignoring her bad behavior is the only thing I know to do. If time outs don't work then you will have to find a way to punish her. I am not an advocate of spanking, but some times it is the only thing you can do. Try taking things away from her when she acts bad, try time outs and try a reward system for good behavior. It sounds as if she is testing you.

Good Luck.

Answer 9

Has she seen anything that has influenced her to be like that? (ie. an older brother/sister shouting, or people around her?). Try a timeout or a naughty step. If she does anything naughty, pick hr up and put her on the step, then leave her for 3 minutes (1 minute for each year of her life), then go back to her and tell her what she ha done wrong. She should give you a kiss & a cuddle after that.
Hope it helps!

Answer 10

I agree with the ones that suggested spanking. I wouldn't use a belt or anything like, I don't agree with that at all. But a little pat on her butt wouldn't hurt. I do believe there is such a thing as the terrible 3's but she sounds like a spoiled little brat (sorry but from your description its true). Is she around other kids? I cant see other kids wanting to play with her if she acts like that. You need to stop this now. You need to get it through her head she cant act like this. If you don't people in general wont want anything to do with her. A psychiatrist might be a good idea.