Bum MOH, anyone else??

Question

Well I decided to have my (ONLY) Sister as my MOH--it's turning out to be a nightmare....she isn't helpful and is uninvolved. I understand she can't afford to help financially and I didn't expect her to but how about some support? All this stress shouldn't she be there for moral support? I even have to keep reminding her she has a balance on her BM Dress....Ergh! Anyone else going through similar situations?

Thinking about asking a BM to step up & be my Matron of Honor (She's married) so that I don't have to hurt my Sister's feelings...man her life is in shabbles--how can I expect her to help me?

I'm NOT demoting my MOH (Sister) but merely offering help to her...she is family & that's forever. I'd never treat her like crap, that's NOT in my nature.

Come on...I'm suddenly a "Bridezilla" bc I would like assistance w/ Wedding things....give me an effin break!

Answer 1

Hey, I'll be your virtual maid of honor! You have my support! :)

Answer 2

You think you have problems? You should see the kids starving in Africa! Im kidding.

nah you're not a bridezilla, I can understand you need help. Why not, instead of assuming she'll have a brain fart and help you of her own accord give her SMALL tasks? I really haven't expected my sister (my maid of honor) or my other bridesmaids to help me with anything. Im having issues with them not telling me what kind of dress they wanna wear (my wedding is 4 months away) so Im gunna toodle off and pick them and say "Here ya go". I'm thinking something big, pink and fluffy! Also a joke.

Seriously though.. what do you need help with? Why not just ask her! "Hey sis, I really need "this" picked up could you possibly pick it up for me". Stuff like that.. you shouldn't be asking her to do huge big tasks.

My sister gave birth to my 2nd nephew (the other one is13mnths) a month ago, so she has alot on her plate. My other 2 bridesmaids are also mothers of small children. You really can't expect them to drop everything to be at your beck and call. SMALL TASKS!

Answer 3

Like i said in previous question for another poster.

This is YOUR wedding and YOUR lifechanging event. Not theirs. After wedding day their lives are going to go right back to normal. You can't expect them to put their entire lives on hold just to sit and debate if the napkins should be cream or aqua with you. They really don't care! If you want someone on call 24/7 to run errands for you and obsess over flowers you need to hire a wedding planner.

You should do a little research about what the maid of honor is for.

Answer 4

My sister is my Matron of Honor as well. And i hold told her from the beginng to let me know if she couldnt afford to do so. I told her in the nicest way possible, and i let her know it was ok if she declined, and that i would understand. However, she has decided to go forward with it, which is fine, but i am really worried that she is not going to be able to do all that she needs to, as well as her family life possibly getting in the way, and i am not talking about her children, but her "Oger" of a husband.... he is very demanding of her, and does absolutely nothing to help..
I have yet to run in to problems, but i have only just begun. I know something is bound to happen eventually.
Thankfully though i have the best sister N law and friends in the world helping me out. They all know and understand my sister situation, and they said they will do whatever it takes to make sure every thing runs smoothly for me. I love them all so much!!!
I really hope everything works out. I dont see why you couldnt as one of the bridesmaids to be the Matron of Honor, and i am sure that your sister wouldnt object.

Good luck!

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Two of my bridesmaids are dealing with a personal crises in their lives shortly after i got eneged. One just had a baby in July and it sick. These woman are sisters and live together. I'm paying for their dresses and still do not have their measurments. I'm sorry you have to deal with your situation. Maybe a bunch of dealing with the same thing can start up some kinda support called Brides ready to kill the bridesmaid or something (just a joke) but i hope it makes you laugh.

Answer 7

I had a similar situation with my previous maid of honor she was HORRIBLE! We ending up having a falling out (not over the wedding) and i made someone else the maid of honor and she is the best friend a girl could ask for. :)

Answer 8

I hear ya, and I'm dreading the day I ask for BM/MOH.
I have only 1 sis, who sounds like yours. I was going to name her as MOH but I'm thinking I don't want her in that role.
So to avoid creating too much drama, my current plan is to ask sis to be a BM and pray she has the intelligence to opt out since we both know she can't afford to be in the wedding.

Answer 9

I am thrilled to say that, no, I'm not in your shoes on this one. We chose to have no bridal party at all to avoid all of the many stresses that often accompany the whole bridal party thing. This is one of the best decisions we made regarding the details of our wedding. Our mothers will sign as our witnesses, and we're saved from all the stress of choosing people, picking out things for them to wear, etc...

Answer 10

Whenever we assume that other people should act a certain way, we are always setting ourselves up for dissapointment. She's not being supportive? Then stop leaning on her. Find someone else. As for her balance, make sure the dress is in her name and the bill is hers and then let her deal with it.

Answer 11

I had a MOH who didn't do much. Fortunately I had a Matron of Honor also who really stepped up. Your Maid of Honor is supposed to be of HONOR. She isn't though is she? You should have chosen someone else. I fired one of my bridesmaids for being such a dolt. She was hitting up the other bridesmaids for money.

I am a wedding coordinator and people need to hire me because the MOH is busy getting her hair, nails, etc. done and NOT helping the bride. What do they think the word MAID means?