Co-Sleeping Parents: I gotta know...?

Question

My friends and I can't figure it out: Do you always sleep with your child while he/she is sleeping? What about naps? Do you go to bed at 7 with your baby/child? If not, where does your child take naps? If so, do you get a lot done around the house? How do you manage to have more children?

I'm not trying to tick anyone off, I just really want to know how you swing it all...

Thanks!

I'm just using the time of 7 as an arbitrary number, I just mean do you go to bed early with your child?

YOu guys are misreading my question: I am not interested in co-sleeping, I'm just curious about hose who do it, how they manage it, and how they do it. My 7 month old sleeps in a crib in our room. He goes to bed 2-3 hours before we do, so I am curious about how those who choose to co-sleep handle a child when they need a lot more sleep than parents do.

Please, lets not make this about which method is 'better', I'm just curious about co-sleeping parents' practices.

Thanks!

Answer 1

I always slept with my babies when they were tiny, even at nap times, mostly because I still needed the rest! By the time they were 3-4 months old, I would lay down for naps and usually wake up before the baby did, and then get up and get things done. At bedtime, I would nurse the baby to sleep, perhaps even lay down or a little bit myself, and then get back up if I wasn't tired yet. Most of the time, though, at night especially, my husband and I both tried to sleep while the baby slept because that's what worked for us.

During the day, the baby spent a good bit of time in the swing, or the bouncer, or on the floor with toys so that Mommy and Daddy could do chores, of course alternating floor/playtime with lots of holding, snuggling, feeding.

We managed to have more children because we knew that sex doesn't have to be limited to the bed during night time hours. It can happen anywhere, anytime the mood and the timing is right, and was actually quite spontaneous and exciting, because we never fell into a "routine" it was always an adventure.

Answer 2

Do you always sleep with your child while he/she is sleeping?
No. When they were little & slept in my bed all of the time, I would lay down by them until they fell asleep, unless there was some other pressing thing that needed to be done, then I would explain it to them & let them know I'd be in soon. Now that they are bigger, they usually start in their own bed, but still like me to sit by them for a while, anyway.

What about naps?
Same as above.

Do you go to bed at 7 with your baby/child?
I may sit by them when they go to sleep, but that doesn't mean that I have to go to sleep then, too. When they were babies I would often fall asleep from exhaustion when they did, though :D

If not, where does your child take naps?
Wherever they fall asleep :-)

If so, do you get a lot done around the house?

Cooking & cleaning can wait til tomorrow
For babies grown up, I've learned to my sorrow
So, settle down cobwebs and dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby and baby's don't keep

You find time to do what needs to get done, once you all find each other's rhythm in the day.

How do you manage to have more children?
Surprisingly, you can actually have sex in other places besides in the bedroom, under the covers, in the dark, after 9pm. ;-)

Answer 3

*lol* I was sure you were going to ask where we have sex, that's the usual question.

No I don't always sleep when my son sleeps, I'd go nuts if I didn't get those few hours in the evening. He sleeps in our bed without me/me and hubby. As I am pregnant I tend to nap with him. Sometimes he naps on the couch when I am not napping with him but mostly he naps in the bed.

When he was really small he often napped in his crib, or swing, and sometimes on his playmat. Just because you co-sleep doesn't mean you can't have a crib (I actually have two one in the nursery and one set up as a side-car/bed extension. I actaully end up sleeping in the crib most of the time since my son is old enough to sleep in the middle.

Some co-sleeping moms keep baby in a carrier during naps, particularly infants.

(Holy cow you are getting some "nice" answers. Sheesh.)

Answer 4

My wife and I are doing a "partial schedule".

Our 8-mo. boy is a "lonely guy". He naps 20-30 minutes alone, but he can go 2-3 HOURS if he's on my lap. I (stay-at-home dad) let him sleep on me after some feedings and after some 20-minute awakenings. Otherwise, I try my best to get him to nap alone.

At night, he sleeps in his crib which is in our room; HOWEVER, we sleep in the guest room! (We live in an apartment.)

We are trying to achieve sleep independence, but my wife is a medical resident, so her schedule is pretty rough. She requires sleep for proper functioning in her work day. If I'm on "baby sleep call", then I sleep in the guest room with da wife, as usual. If she "relieves" me, she sleeps in the bedroom with the baby, because (1) she sleeps soundly and doesn't hear his cries from the guest room, and (2) she'll resort to co-sleeping just to get some peaceful sleep.

When her rotations get lighter, we'll try to institute a "program" towards sleep independence: laying down the hard line, a la Ferber.

Getting things done? Nap times for baby give me just enough time for brain deactivation. Nighttime is TV/relaxed time for me and da wife. I do housework and maintenance when Mrs. is home. House cleaning is catch-as-catch-can: by inches.

LOL: people want to take their opportunities to tell you how "you're wrong"! Oh well.

Best of luck!

Answer 5

I have 2 wonderful, intelligent, well-rounded, happy children one is now 18 and the other is 12. My kids slept in my room in there crib for a long time. Then when I was ready they went to there big bed which in the begging I laid down for about 10 min with them at night to help them adjust. or if I was tired I would take a nap with them but not everyday. So many people say teach them independance, sleep in there own room, dont sleep with them long or you'll screw them up...it's bull sleep with them don't sleep with them it's what your comfortable with. Every child is unique and requires different treatment do what your comfortable with. You no your child better than anyone else so it's what works for you and the child. My 12 yr old sleeps with me because she has a critical illness and i check on her in the middle of the night, she goes to bed on her own, has a straight A grade average and is one of the most happiest kids I've ever met, she can sleep in her room if I want her to or if she wants to. She does not have night mares or any other problems other then medical and it is easier and gives me a piece of mind having her there to check on in the middle of the night plus sometimes we watch a movie or just giggle before going to sleep. My kids tell me everything, they are honest to a fault and happy.

Answer 6

I co-sleep with my baby. Put him to bed around 8 by himslef, and then around 11 or 10;p30 hubby and I go to bed. When he was smaller (3-4 months) he used to sleep on his sling, but now he is bigger he sleeps on the bed. I am trying to move him to his cot, and he does sleep there sometimes. How will we manage to have more children?? funny question, the same as everybody else, I guess..lol..it doesn't affect your privacy and intimacy as much as you would think...besides, there is always the sofa, haha.
and my house is fairly clean, and I usually manage to do all the chores.

Answer 7

Not always. A parent doesnt always have to sleep wiht their child. They are more than capable of sleeping on their own at any age.

Naps can go both ways. If you want the extra sleep and want to sleep with your child, than go ahead. It wont hurt anything and you will probably get better sleep if you do.

As far as my husband and myself, we do not go to bed when our children do. We use that time to be with each other and spend time together. Now dont get me wrong, if someone wanted to go to be d at the smae time they could.

I have two children and get all of my housewrok done everyday, spend good quality time with the both of them, and manage to attend college and spend time with my husband as well. It takes balance, but all can be done.

Answer 8

Your supposed to keep you baby in its cot/crib but IN YOUR room until its 6 months to help prevent cot death (by being able to pick up on changes in breathing. if your baby rolls over etc etc)

Most people don't go to bed a 7 wth there child. They put the child in bed and sit with it til it falls asleep. When it wakes up during the night its then that the child climbs into bed with mum and dad.

Parents generally do it out of sheer exhaustion! It very tiring sitting with your child til it stops crying and gets to sleep again and then you get up for work the next day...... however its the only way!

Answer 9

I wouldn't worry about it...co-sleeping in my opinion is a really bad no-no. I put my child in his own bed at 1-1/2 weeks old, and he was sleeping through the night at 2-1/2 weeks on his own. You are going to run into the problem that when you eventually want your child to go into their own bed that they won't. Think long and hard before you decide on co-sleeping.

Answer 10

If I slept at the same time as my baby, the house would look disgusting! I don't agree with the co-sleeping. Children need to learn independence.