Why is being a single mother a badge of honor? I don't think it anything wrong with being a single mom or dad but whats with the "SAY IT LOUD I'M A SINGLE MOTHER AND I'M PROUD" stuff?
2007-11-08 03:12:04 · 14 answers · asked by lhallums82 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I don't know either. I really think it is more a case of making the best of a less than ideal situation, but not something to be glorified, glamourized, or even chosen.
I was on my own for a couple of years after my husband left, and I did my best, but I know that it was not the same as if my children had been in a stable, loving two-parent home. I have watched other single moms who never got married or even had involvement from the dad struggle through it and watched their kids deal with the confusion and heartbreak.
I personally wish that more women dealing with an unplanned pregnancy would still consider adoption. It is a shame that somehow the open adoption laws, easy abortion, and as you put it single moms seeing it as a badge of honor have somehow combined to make adoption a less accepted option. In this day of women's rights that is supposed to HELP women, I think that the acceptance of single moms has really let the guys off the hook. Instead of expecting them to step up to the plate too (as in shotgun weddings) now they can escape responsibility by either insisting on an abortion, trying to deny paternity, or just by phoning it in with a child support check and a visit now and then--more like some sort of benevolent uncle or stranger than a parent!
I wish more people thought like you, because this attitude becomes contagious--the more girls see other single moms doing it (and being proud of it and getting praised for it) the more it seems like a viable option instead of a hardship to try and avoid if possible.
I would never want the hard life lessons I learned and somehow made it through (divorce, remarriage, etc.) be anything someone else could point to as an excuse or justification for them to make the same mistakes--just because I've made the best of it and it has turned out somehow ok by the grace of God doesn't mean it's the ideal situation or an example to follow!
2007-11-08 03:25:34 · answer #1 · answered by arklatexrat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a single mother, but my husband is a full time student and has asperger's syndrome, so at times, I may as well be a single mother. To go to work all day, pick the kids up, cook dinner, clean up the kids and get them to bed, and then clean house and do dishes and laundry. It can be a lot when there is only one adult in the house.
Now that I have said that, I do have a relative (not going to say who) that is a single mother, but her children are older....old enough to do house work and cook their own food and stuff like that. She still goes around loudly broadcasting that she is a single mother of three and life is just soooo hard. Bull poopie is what I have to say to that. In this case she is playing the patsie. Trying to get undue sympathy from others. I used to live with her and if she would just get her priorities straight, she would have realized that her life could be laid back and easy.
I guess it just depends on how the single parent feels about their situation.
2007-11-08 03:22:57 · answer #2 · answered by Jayme S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually I'm not proud of being a single mother thats just the way it turned out for me. Its hard work and total dedication to your children, some help would of been nice being the mom/dad figure is not easy you have to be soft and hard play baseball and barbies. I don't think anyone is looking for a badge of honor.
2007-11-08 03:25:14 · answer #3 · answered by firebird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that I'm saying it loud or proud. I don't want medals or badges or need to strut my stuff. What I am telling you is that what takes two parents to do, I have managed to accomplish on my own while working a full time day job and keeping a clean house and clean clothes on my kids back. Parenthood is hard, no matter what the circumstances may be, but to do it alone is particularily challenging. I chose the single mom route, but not everyone gets to pick their options and are thrown into it suddenly, so when they have a good day or a good week they get to brag a little.
2007-11-08 03:24:02 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Instantkarma♥♫ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you are a single mom, but i am and let me tell you it's not easy. but i guess they say that saying because, like they say "it takes a village to raise a child" well imagine if it's only one member in that village how harder it would be.
i think i'm proud of being a single mom, but it's harder on my child, so if i had to do it all over, i would have tried harder to work it out with my ex, even if i wasn't happy my child would be. and it's not so much the work of parenting, it's the children, cause they need their father, maybe cause some moms are weak...
their is too much for me to say about this topic. So i'll live it up to you to answer that question.
2007-11-08 03:19:52 · answer #5 · answered by grace 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well for one I'm a single mother and i am very proud of it. my daughter is almost 2 and i work 2 jobs and go to school trying to give my daughter a good life. but think about it the tasks of being a single parent team don't mean that you have half the duty that a two parent team would have it means you got more. especially if you have more then one child. that's why alot of single parents are proud of it. i have seen it and herd it be for with stay at home moms who are so stressed out because they have so much to do and no help till there husband gets home from work. to me that would be a luxury. someone coming home from work and helping me
2007-11-08 03:27:11 · answer #6 · answered by PROUDMOMMY 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow...WI MOM you have some strong opinions and way off base...just so you know some of us single moms were married when we had kids.....some of us had no choice but to become single moms (some of our spouses died, some of our spouses left, and sometime we had to leave our spouse) It takes 2 people to make a marriage work, and only one to make it fail. It's not easy raising kids on your own and we should be proud that we are doing the best that we can.
2007-11-08 05:14:49 · answer #7 · answered by twinmomg 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
usually most young people would like to have there baby with their partner`s support and encouragement.except when a woman is insecure and probably scared age is not on her side she will descide to have a baby all by her self othertimes people get pregnant for loved ones expecting them to be supportive and caring. life as a single mum is not easy and a single girl just doesn`t wake up saying to her self i gotta get pregnant. it happens and you have to live with it and try to enjoy it. people attach so much stigma to it and that`s the reason for the "SAY IT LOUD I'M A SINGLE MOTHER AND I'M PROUD" stuff?
2007-11-08 03:21:56 · answer #8 · answered by uche 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know alot of people think being a single parent is harder, That is why people say those things. I watched alot of parents and my parents( whom were married for 27 years and divorced and I have 7 very young brother and sisters) and my Mom swears it is alot easier being single as you do it your way with out fighting over stupid things.
2007-11-08 03:16:31 · answer #9 · answered by Mom of Pryor 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why should being a single mother be something to be proud of?
So you're easy and reproduced outside of a marriage. How hard is that?
Building and maintaining a strong marriage and family is a lot more work!
Single mothers should feel ashamed of their choices. They are not doing what is best for their children or society.
Single mom= never married
Divorced mom= once married, now divorced
Widow= married, spouse deceased
2007-11-08 04:36:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋