Is this considered to be abuse or does my acquaintance need to be a real man and move on?

Question

My acquaintance got mad because apparently someone sent him and email saying that he is a fat, ugly nerd who cant get woman. Some people I know laughed at it when I told them about it and they said they dont see the problem its true. He wants to report it to the dean and told me its abuse. Is this really abuse if this was not involving any threat or physical harm or does my acquaintance need to toughen up and be a man?

Answer 1

remind your friend that name calling is not abuse, it's just a childish attempt to hurt his feelings. That fact that it may be true, and he knows it is true, is why he is reacting as he is. He is reacting in an immature fashion to an immature email, he will only be embarrassed when he reports it to the dean and the dean just tells him to grow up, so I would suggest he learn to ignore the opinions of others and build on his own good self image, ie lose weight and grow up.

Answer 2

Okay lest be real for one it is abuse it is called mental abuse and if it was a constant thing and a non st oping nagging and or a non stopping thing then it would be called mental abuse but if it was a one time thing and others just laughed that is nothing one he is a man and he should act now lets be clear we are not telling him or her that it did not hurt i am sure it did no one like to hear the truth or no one likes being made fun of but at least to show that others that this dose not bother him yes it may or may not be true but do not show it by acting like a baby and running to the dean on the other hand if he dose not do something that is also a sing that he will let just about anyone make fun of him show some back bone and think about your choice on what to do i am not telling you not to do it or to go and say something but think and think well you and only he will answer his own question. good luck

Answer 3

it could be considered emotional or verbal abuse? or slander? but i think he is just hurt. just because these things may be true does not give people the right to verbally state the obvious and then send it to the person?!?! thats just mean. i mean what if someone thought you were fat/overweight, ugly, and couldn't get a man even if you tried? its not nice when you walk in someone else's shoes. have you seen those shows where a women puts on a fat suit and see how different she is treated. our society puts alot of pressure on all of us to be beautiful and if your not then somehow you are less of a human being!?!? I have struggle with weight since high school but i have never been obese or too overweight. actually when i look back at my high school pictures i was a very beautiful girl, but back then i thought i was ugly and fat. now that i am older and i have two beautiful boys to raise i am very happy with myself. I teach my boys its not nice to tease kids. you must watch what you say and be nice. hope this helps. just think about when u have children. what if this guy was your son?

Answer 4

Your acquaintance needs to report it to the dean who in turn needs to investigate and reprimand the person/persons involved.

This is harrassment and abuse. It is equivalant to using the unmentionable word to a person of color or a derogatory term regarding a woman or handicapped person.

Being ugly/fat is the last "acceptable" form of discrimination in the USA and this email was hurtful and threatening to this person.

The fact that you think its funny and shared a guffaw with others at your acquaintances expense makes me think you better tell mommy and daddy that you may get suspended for sending such an email.

*shaking head at the ignorance that would allow you to think he needs to "toughen up and be a man" in the face of cowardly cruelty and public humiliation.*

good morals kiddo!

Answer 5

It is not at all RIGHT for you or anyone else to criticize someone in a less than decent manner - and it is not your place to judge a persons weight or looks as being less pleasant than your own.

I doubt it would be considered "abuse" unless he specifically DEMANDED that you STOP and you continued to do it. A one time lack of good judgment will most likely land you a severe tongue lashing and warning not to do it again.

REMEMBER THIS: Your TONGUE is mightier than the sword - meaning your WORDS can inflict MORE damage than a knife!! BE CONSIDERATE of others and remember - THEY have feelings JUST like you -

ALWAYS treat others as you would like to be treated.

The one who should WISE up - is you.

Answer 6

His feelings may have been hurt, but a mean email is not abuse. Getting mad at an email is, in effect, granting an enormous amount of power and control to someone else, and you don't want to be granting that to someone that is immature and mean.

Reporting the email to the Dean would be like adding "stupid" to the list.

Answer 7

i guess it could be seen as verbal abuse but it's highly subjective. i don't believe there are any actions that can be taken against someone for callin you out if it was not a racial or sexist comment, unfortunately.

tell your friend to ignore it and get some real friends. there are bigger problems at school besides someone hating on you.

he'll have the last laugh ten years from now when he's making six figures and the person who sent the email is still trying to get a job.

Answer 8

it could be considered mental abuse, if it is continual. one email is not abuse, if it happens frequently then yeah, it is abuse or harrassement at the very least.

He probably is sensative in this area and that may have been a big part of his reaction. But, it is hard. I know. Tell him he needs to print off the email and make several copies and not to delete it. If he gets more, he needs to do that with those as well. He needs to make several copies so he can take it to the athorities.

Good Luck!

Answer 9

Its not neccesarily abuse, I guess..but its quite mean and you must only be an acquaintance to tell others and not a friend. People who send things like that are a****les

Answer 10

Yes I think it's mental and emotional abuse, but I don't see what he can do about it. Kids have been calling other kids names for years. The best thing your buddy could do is lose a little weight so people don't pick on him. Sorry if that sounds harsh.