Cutting the guest list vs picking venue with more space?

Question

The facts:
We haven't found a venue or put down deposits, we are just looking so we still have alot of options.
Our list is pushing 250 and the chances are good that we would have about 175-200 attendees.
We could go for a larger venue and not cut the list, but that means a standard catering hall that has multiple events per day (some simultaneous).
We are leaning towards two really beautiful settings - renting a mansion or a playhouse. So opting for the bigger venue would mean alot more decorating costs as the mansion & playhouse both have a great look that could stand alone without decorating as heavily. We'd also have to pay to feed more people.
We are starting to separate the guest list into priority and try to cut the "& Guest" to see how low we can get. We still might not get to under 150 attendees that way.
So, what are your thoughts? Start looking for a bigger venue or just start hacking the list?

Believe it or not, its the groom that really wants the mansion or playhouse. He likes the "ambiance" as well as the fact that nobody he knows has gotten married there before (there was an issue with one place i found - he doesn't want to go there 'cause his friend had his reception there).
My only desire is to have something unique. I was all set to rent a restored barn which is extremely affordable and we could splurge on the food & drinks & entertainment and not need to cut the guest list.
The funniest part is that its the grooms list that is pushing us over the top, too!
Maybe I'll tell him its either the barn, the place his friend had the wedding or he has to cut his list... LOL

We are ensuring that if we did have 200 or more people that we would be at a bit less expensive venue and would have the DJ only for 5 hours (the time limit of the place), and probably skip the chocolate fountain after dinner (nobody would miss it, I bet).
If we only have 150 then we could spend a little more on food/drinks, have the chocolate fountain after dinner and could provide entertainment for longer (ex: we could have the mansion for the entire day so we set the length of party-time, a feature we both really like)
Can't cut the kids - We live about 3 hours away from many of the attendees so if they come they have to spend the night so their kids are coming with them. There really aren't many of them anyway (definitely less than 10 kids).

Answer 1

This is a really personal choice.

Will your budget allow you to rent a larger venue and accommodate the per head [rice of additional guests? That's the first thing to consider.

Now, you need to decide what's more important to your vision of the day - the perfect backdrop/location to set the tone of your reception, or celebrating with your friends & family. There is no right or wrong answer here - that question needs to be answered by you & your fiance.

If I were in your shoes, and all things being equal, I would choose to forgo the location and up the guest list. IMO, weddings are about celebrating with the people you love most, and who love you most in return. Again, that's just my $0.02.

Best wishes to you!

Answer 2

To me, it would be more important that the guests I love would get to come than that the venue be perfect. Trust me, you will hardly remember a thing anyway. Why not do it outside? That way, you have almost unlimited space and you could find a gorgeous state or public park where the fee would be minimal? I know that sounds like trailer trash or something but I've seen plenty of parks that are gorgeous!!! Another option is to not rent 2 different venues for the ceremony and reception. I know people do that sometimes but it's very costly. For instance, I got married at a beautiful old historic mansion that had these gorgeous gardens in the back. We got married in the garden and then had the reception up at the mansion. The mansion couldn't hold enough people to sit down for a wedding.

Answer 3

What do you mean "try to cut the '& Guest'"??? There is no try about it. Unless you know someone named 'and guest', then there should be no invitations to such a person. Invite people that you actually know. If you put "and guest" on invitations, people feel like thay HAVE to scrounge up some kind of date. The result is that you are wining and dining a mob that not only do YOU not give a hoot for but even the guests who dragged them along probably don't care much for either.

If you're not going to be strict on the "no ring = no bring" rule, you can ask a few closer friends "Is there someone special I should be inviting for you?" If they can't immediately specify someone by name, but want to bring some as yet undetermined date -- this amounts to asking your permission to entertain a guest of their own at YOUR expense. Tell them that if they aren't in some sort relationship, you'd prefer that they come alone so that there is "at least one single man/woman to dance with all the single women/men who will be attending." This will not only offer the incentive of meeting new people but reassure them that they won't "look funny" going by themselves.

If you have children on your guest list, you should be taking an ax to them too. (Figure of speech, LOL.) Just because you invite your favorite nephew doesn't mean you have EVERY guests' children. If you barely know these children, then why would you want them at your wedding? People that want to come badly enough will manage some sort of child care arrangement. People that aren't particularly eager to come will decline rather, cutting your guest list further.

Is there any other category you can cut? School friends you haven't seen for years? Co-workers with whom you don't really socialize? Can you accept that a wedding is actually more about the parents proudly marrying off a handsome son or beautiful daughter in front of all THEIR relatives (and a few close friends) and exclude some of your own social circle? There is nothing to prevent you from giving an inexpensive but extremely festive party after the honeymoon to celebrate with your own set.

Congrats and best wishes. I'm sure that your careful and realistic analysis of problems and formulation of options will ensure that your wedding party is absolutely splendid, whatever venue you choose.

Answer 4

If you want the mansion or playhouse, then cut the guest list. You can cut the costs there with the savings on decorating (as you say). Then stick to your guest list - cut some peopl (the "and guest") is a good start. Hack the list & get married where you really want to.

Answer 5

It all really depends on how many guests you can support. A good rule that I came across was making three lists out of your guest list. The ones that have to come, the ones that you want to come, and the ones that can come if you have room. I know it is hard to cut down the list, but sometimes it just has to be done. Good luck!

Answer 6

What is more important to you both having lots of people there, or having the nicer venue? If its the nicer venue start hacking the lists, if its more people pick the bigger venue.