I am a single mom of 3 children (ages 3, 5, 8), and have been seeing an amazing guy (I am very in love, but we haven't said it yet and he does spend time with the children who are also crazy about him...) who is also weathly for 11 months. I have been out of work for the past 2 1/2 months and am out of time and resources, this economy is really bad! It looks like I will have to move 60 miles away, move the children for the 3rd time in a year. Should he help me and if he doesn't, does that mean that he's not really serious?
2007-11-08 00:13:51 · 21 answers · asked by fab_kat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i dont think u shd depends on him to help u finanially unless he too is thinking of settling down w u and making commitments. whethr he helps or not, its up to him. if he doesnt , means hes nt ready. so take things slow. else u might b scarying him away
2007-11-08 00:17:46 · answer #1 · answered by devileye_98 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Where are the children's father(s)???
Why aren't you going to unemployment or social services? What is going on with the Courts, and Support? The law mandates you to provide for them, even if you must take welfare! Or, Child Services can remove them from your care! Been there, done that, as a child with three sisters!
NOT a 'good thing' considering the rape, theft, abuse, that most children get in the 'care' of the state (Florida)! In fact, Child Protective Services can't find over 600 children who were 'lost' in the system, since 1990!
Child Support is not for you, it is for the kids, and you could be termed a 'bad' parent for not asking the Courts to impose Support that the three kids can actually live on!
Wealthy men usually don't see investing in a woman as anything but a depreciating asset, that will only get worse with time. A short time!
Fact: Women are a cheap comodity to wealthy men, who like to maintain total control and play with the toys, cars, yachts, air planes, gadgets.
A young, hot chick is an asset easily dumped after a few years.
You have competition. Younger, hotter, women with no kids, and who are 'low maintenance'.
Staying free of any dependancies is easy for wealthy men, because there are lots of women with no kids, and an equal lack of morality, who are happy to be with him until he decides they are too 'high maintenance'.
"FREE" is where you will be going just about two minutes after you ask him for money! Unless, if he is disgustingly ugly, drools, is confined to a wheelchair, etc.
You would be DUMPING your troubles on him, and forcing him to make a decision, effectively forcing his 'hand'.
You might be ignorant of the facts of life, or, you might be stupid. Stupid can't be fixed, and I doubt it in you, though the track record might disclose differently.
Good luck with that. Men are nothing if not pragmatic about cutting their losses in a pitched battle.
2007-11-08 00:35:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand the wealthy for 11 months part.....did he win a lottery 11 months ago.
He probably knows that you are at your wits end. Tell him that you are going to go work at Walmart. He'll get the hint. If he has money, I bet you he will help you out. You sound like a nice lady.
As for your part, don't forget what he did. If both agree that the "help out" is a loan, make sure both parties know it. Also, don't stop looking for a job. If you do he might think that you are a gold digger. Best of luck. I'll pray for you.
2007-11-08 00:21:54 · answer #3 · answered by Joe Private 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, he should not give you money. It might be nice, but no, there is no reason why he should feel obligated to help. Your needy situation might even push him away or it might be the reason why your relationship has not progressed further. The father of your children should be helping with child support. Stop having children until you are able to take care of them properly.
You should be able to support yourself and your children. If you are not able to do that, then seek government assistance through welfare, wic, food stamps, ywca, etc. If you get on their programs and you are not collecting shild support, then they will help to go after the deadbeat dad to get some of their money back.
2007-11-08 00:27:34 · answer #4 · answered by B. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This might sound harsh, but he's under no obligation to help you out as he is not the father of your kids nor your spouse. By your own admission he doesn't know you love him. Is the kids father(s) paying support?
If he does help you it will be a bonus, but you'l find out if he's serious about you when the crunch really comes and you have to move.
I know that if I was in his shoes I'd not offer to help until you either ask for help or explain the situation to me.
2007-11-08 00:21:58 · answer #5 · answered by Ian W 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would think if you see this man at your home and you talk, he is aware you are needy perhaps and should offer aide on his own free will. Just because he is wealthy, does not mean in the money department he is giving as wealthy people routinely are tight with their money when it comes to gifts and loans. I am sure there are subtle ways you can drop a hint. If he has future plans with you, I would think he will help. Sorry about your problems.
2007-11-08 00:21:45 · answer #6 · answered by AJ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no he shouldnt have to help support you. you are a grown woman and should beable to take care of yourself. you two are just dating that means he has no real oblignations to you inless he chooses to do so. money is a very touchy subject in any aspect of a relationship. even in marriage it is something that is always being faught over. its never wise to give money to a friend or lover because you will always be expected to repay them in some way. no matter what they say. it will always be held over you head. you shouldnt and dont have the right to make him choose between you and kids or money. its not right and you know it otherwise you wouldnt be asking everyone here. you can get back on your feet. go to your local depot of job and family and get on welfare, foodstamps and such. do what you need to do. dont make others have to pay for your downfalls. this is why we have welfare, to help people in situations like this. lord knows it happens to all of us. i wish you the best of luck ^_^
2007-11-08 00:20:29 · answer #7 · answered by AnGeL.SlayeR 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, and you shouldnt expect him to. He knows he can help you. Maybe hes waiting for this side to come out so he can see what youre really like. He didnt get you pregnant 3 times, he shouldnt have to support you. Maybe when he sees you do something for yourself and not expect handouts he will jump at the chance..
2007-11-08 00:22:20 · answer #8 · answered by blerchus4incapet 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's only been seeing you for 11 months. You aren't living together and you aren't engaged.
He has no obligation to support you financially. If he choses to do so, that is a gift, and further financial help is still not obligatory.
2007-11-08 00:18:22 · answer #9 · answered by Dan H 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Don't mix finances with possible relationship, nor use that as a measure to how the relationship is developing.
Your situation is just that, your situation.......you need to concentrate on what you need to do in order to improve your income and living....weather or not he's willing. It's called being independent, self sufficient, and responsible.
2007-11-08 00:20:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋