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Question

Ive done everything till date im in my 20s for parents & sibling.Ive given all money i had to buy car,house,loans but my sibling is very good remembers everything.Ive done is always there for me like making plans for holidays so i can have a break or financially offer piggybank money & emotionally being there for me.Ive even paid my own way through school,college for 2degrees etc.But my parents dont care at all they want me to be with them dont let me go out or take a holiday they want to come along with me.

Now that talk of my marriage is coming up except my man whose been with me for years 2 other guys who proposed marriage to me decided against it after meeting talking to my parents due to them being this way.My parents dont care if im married or not wont help me by paying back money taken or my inheritance so i can have decent wedding or meet talk to my in future in laws or marriage or my man.

What do u think?

Answer 1

your parents sound like they are basically holding your inheritance over your head to keep you at home, you had 2 men call off weddings due to your parents attitude. Are you willing to risk losing thisguy as well? You could go through this until your 50. I say cut your losses and marry this guy asap, pay for your own wedding, what people give you, they expect in return sometimes.contact an attorney about your inheritance so you can get the correct information. As far as the holidays, split the day between both families or rotate holidays. So far your parents have gotten EXACTLY what they want, when do you get what you want?

Answer 2

Do you still live at home with your parents? Move out.
Do you have your own bank account? Get one.

If you want to be treated as an adult, act like one. If I understand your post, you're saying you have given all your money to your parents for their benefit and now you want them to pay for your wedding or at least repay the money you gave them so you can have a nice wedding. Well, if you gave them the money, it was a gift.

Make a decision today you are going to live your own life. Have a wedding you can afford. Don't expect them to repay anything. Invite them to the wedding but your first allegiance has to be to your husband.
From what you wrote, I can't really figure out what's going on with your parents but if they don't accept your fiance or respect your plans, it may be hard but it's time to move on with your life.

Counseling may also be a good idea for you since you've had at least two other marriage proposals and they changed their minds after talking to your parents. There is something else going on here that I think you may need professional help with.

Plan your wedding. Plan your future with your new husband. Have a happy life.

Answer 3

I think that's really f*c*ked up, maybe you should write them off for a little bit until they respect what you done and show you a little appreciation. Tell them if they can't get it together you don't even want them at your wedding. As hard as it may sound i think it needs to ne done. It seems like this has gone on too long. Also you should talk to your fiance' about it also get some input from him he needs to help you in this decision too. Tell them they need to pay you back enough is enough. It's your wedding soon and you need to be HAPPY and not worry about this before your wedding. Good Luck!

Answer 4

i do believe shes saying shes never taken money from her parents. but they have from her. if i was you id honestly take a vacation from my parents. talk to your boyfriend and explain that you know your parents are odd but you cant change that. you love him and want to be with him and this shouldnt make a big difference. he wont have to see them everyday only around holidays. if he still refuses then what else can you do? hes made his mind up and wont sacrafice for you. you need to let him go and move on. as for your parents like i said a vacation. move out, go stay with a friend for a month. you need to show them your an adult and dont want/need them to hang all over you. they are dragging you down in life by doing this. this dosent mean you dont love and respect them. it just needs to show them they have to let you go live your life. without them there. best of luck hun ^_^ it will all work out. just be honest and always tell them how you feel. even if it hurts their feelings. the truth sometimes will do that, it cant be avoided.

Answer 5

With that kind of grammar I seriously doubt you have two degrees. You are going to have to lay down the law for your parents and if they don't get it you'll have to make a clean break. You are worried about your inheritance?? You need to decide what is more important - love or money.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

I find this a little hard to follow...sorry. You are an adult and if you are going to be married then you should act like an adult. Your parents are suffocating you and seem to want you to stay like a child and treat you that way. It seems like you allowed it and enabled them to treat you this way. It will take time to change the thinking of your parents and even yourself, but it can be done. You give all your money to your family? That's not right. Yes, you should help and pay your way on some things but not on everything. It seems like your parents are afraid of losing you. Assure them that they aren't losing you even if you move out. You will see them and they need to accept your marriage and your soon-to-be husband. Tell them you don't wan to have to choose between him and them and you are an adult but will always be their daughter. Put your foot down , in a nice way and sit down as adults and discuss it. If they don't come around and still won't let go, just let them know you love them but are still going to get married and your husband will come first....but you will have time for them too. You can love many people in different ways. They sound controlling and fearful of losing you. Are you the only child? I hope your fiance can hold up and not run in dealing with your parents. If they loved you unconditionally, they would want your happiness. How about going out to dinner with your parents and fiance together or meeting there. They are less likely to make a scene in public. They must let you grow up. In the future, they could have grandchildren to love! That's should be something to look forward to! If your fiance has been with you for years, then he should already know what they are like. Clue him in but not in front of your parents; maybe he can help allay your fears and give you his thoughts on how to win them over. I seriously question of they are also afraid of losing your paycheck. That's their problem , not yours. If they are poor and you want to still help......do so.....but don't let anyone keep taking advantage of you or emotionally blackmail you. Who is your inheritance from? Your parents or another relative? It seems they want control over you or else they will feel out of control. Don't put up with that. Love them but don't keep giving in. Work on this with the guy you are going to marry. Are you old enough to get your inheritance yet? If you need that money and can get it , then I hate to say this, if you can't reason with your parents, you may have to go to a mediator in court or even have a judge decide. Good luck and I applaud you for putting yourself through college. That is quite an accomplishment and something to be very proud of! You must be smart.............so use that intelligence in dealing with them. Best wishes and congratulaions on your upcoming marriage. If you want a big wedding and can't get your inheritance right now, then have a small wedding and later on , you can always remarry in a church wedding that's larger. What is the most important thing is your love for your future husband and your commitment to him. You are an adult. Hopefully when you marry, your parents will come around. Don't cave in to them.

Answer 8

U r a grown up girl,u r free to take ur own decision and if ur boy friend is ready to support u,and u have full faith in him than go ahead and get married to him.Uptill now u have done ur duties toward ur family than dont feel guilty about them.BEST OF LUCK.

Answer 9

Are you saying that your parents live in your house? and control your life to the extent that you still have to ask permission to do what you want to do? Are you paying all of your parents and siblings expenses?

Are they destitute? Can your parents not pay their own way.

It's time for you to move out to your own place (or move your parents into their own place). You parents should be paying their own way and you should have the freedom to be an adult.

Unfortunately, this may mean not having the support of your parents for awhile, but frankly, they aren't supporting you now. You have a life to live and while parents and family should be part of that life, it doesn't need to be all of your life.

It isn't going to be easy financially or emotionally, but live your life, not your parents.

Answer 10

i have absolutely no idea what this says! do u speak english? im very confused.

EDIT:
ok now by all the other answers, i understand better... DEFINITELY MOVE AWAY from them! what r u thinking? theyre never going to change.. act like an adult! if you cant do that then how can you think that you are mature enough to get married?