I lost my husband 6 weeks ago in a car accident?

Question

I dont know if there is anyone out there who has been through this.I have 2 kids one is 4 and the other is 11 months.I am just 23.Where do I begin?I watched my husband die.A car accident killed him and he kept calling my name and telling me he loved me till he gave up.The thought of this alone breaks my heart and tears me into pieces.I feel like my world has come to an end.He was my first and only love.How do I raise 2 kids all by myself in this lonely and cruel world.Some body please give me some anwers and tell me what to do.Am going crazy by the day

Answer 1

I am so sorry to hear about your loss!My best friend also lost her partner in a motor bike accident and has two children similar in age to your children.
I can not even imagine what you and your children are going through at the moment!After my friend lost her husband she felt very alone and lost.So I moved in with her to keep her company and just to be there at anytime if she needed someone to talk to or just sit in silence in a room.It was very hard for me to watch her go through this , but comforting for her to know that she had someone!We had lots of chats,a few glasses of wine and tears other nights.
The best advice I can give you is to find a really good support network , people who will listen and comfort you and your children.Don't ever feel like you are a burden to these people ,because they are your closest friends and family and will do whatever they can for you.
I know it doesn't seem like it now , but things will seem clearer and easier in time.No one expects you to get over it , not today , tomorrow or in a few years time.But it will get easier.
If you are comfortable , surround yourself with your husbands belongings and don't let go of them until you are ready!
I wish I had the answer that you are looking for , but in the meantime please look after yourself and remember that you have two beautiful children who came from your husband.He will live on in them! Take care , the sun will shine again soon!

Answer 2

Hon you need to get to a counselor. Call the local mental health facility and ask about grief counseling. The mental and emotional scenes you keep playing out in your head as a result of this can scar you and your children for life. A few things are certain- one is that your husband would hate to see you and the children hurting soooo badly. So you need to change that because that is what he would want you to do. No mater what he is counting on YOU to raise those kids, he is counting on YOU to do what must be done even while your heart is breaking. So for him you need to get help to go on. And for the children.
The only real thing I can say is that time will heal much of your grief. It hasnt been very long -its gonna take a year at least maybe longer. It took me three long hard years after the death of my husband and son in a car accident in 1973. But I had two other children at home and did what I had to do. In 1977 I met a wonderful man and remarried -something I never thought I could do ( love another man?) but I could and did.
Talk with your pastor if religion is important to you- pastors are full fledged couselors as well as ministers to your spiritual health.Or call the mental health people in town and find someone to talk to.
I wish you and your family all love and hope for a good life!

Answer 3

I am so sorry first thing try and get some pratical help! call family his and yours i am sure they will want to be with you and the children at a time like this. Then see if you can get some financial help from the state. I hope you have photos all around your house of your husband and the childrens dad. If not get some as this will help your 4 yr. If you need to talk go see a counsellor/therapist. Just remember your husband loved you and (he was calling your name) now you need to honnour his memory and raise your children how he and you both wanted. I know you wont want to hear this but time is a great healer. Good luck with those dark days

Answer 4

I cannot imagine the pain and sorrow you are going through and at the same time trying to remain strong for your children. I do hope you have a good support group of friends and family, you are going to need all you can get. Raising your children will not be easy, but it is not impossible.....my ex walked out one day with no warning and left me with 4 toddlers, all disabled, I lost my job, had no family or friends within 1,000 miles. It took time but I somehow found the strength to carry on, it wasn't easy, and still isn't, but 9 years later I am proud of who my children are and how they grew and matured. I can only tell you to take it one day at a time, try to bring a little happiness into your and your children's lives each day, draw together as a family, and keep your husbands memory alive, stay strong your children need you, especially after such a tragic loss.

Answer 5

Go out with your children and try to take your mind off of the situation. Take a few days off of work. What happened had happened and there's nothing anyone can do to change it. The best things to do right now is to concentrate your time on your children. It's critical that your kids understand what's going on and are not dramatized by it. Focus all your attention on them and make sure they get thru it. If you don't work, you should start looking for a job or apply for financial help. You don't want your children and yourself to live on the street. If financially possible, buy termed life insurance for yourself. You might be their last chance of success, so you don't want the worse happen from now on. Hope this help-

Answer 6

Sadia
You must understand that YOU are injured by this event to the point that "reason" and "balance" will be some time in returning !!
There ARE, however, numerous mechanisms in place all around you to help keep things from running completely unchecked over the next while -- until you can gain some composure and direction !!
It is wise for you to do two things here that will help --- one, is to take the advice that you are getting over and over here -- to focus on being strong for your children ---The other is to -- surround yourself with the absolute Best of the people you have to draw from and not to allow yourself the luxury of "alone" right now --- for those are the times that this will (especially at these earliest stages of dealing with it all) work you over Big Time !!
If I leave you with anything at all of value with this post --- I wish it to be the following note for your thoughts at this time ---
Your husband would want you and the children to have the very best life possible -- no matter what !! He would want you to keep him close in your hearts -- but not allow this tragedy to take you away from your future well-being and happiness !!
Your absolute BEST memorial TO him will be in the way in which you proceed WITH your lives --- for it is in THAT that HE continues to effect this world !!

Much sorrow and heart felt empathy for you at this time --- and, although this is a major loss and a trial that no one should have to deal with --- you can and will survive -- and, with time -- you will find your way to a much brighter day -- because -- at heart and soul -- we are MUCH stronger than we can even guess --- when life has us beat to the floor !!!
☼

Answer 7

This is really sad and frustrating,but life will go on despite Ur sadness.U should think that Ur dear husband traveled to a far place ,and u have to continue in Ur life,be closer to Ur kids,raise them the way that Ur husband would love,be closer to Ur parents and family,don't think that others don't feel what u are suffering from,enjoy Ur life as it is too short,be open to meeting new people,have faith that god did what happened for the best for u and Ur children.U are still too young,and u have a full life ahead.I wish u the best of luck.

Answer 8

I'm so sorry to hear this! I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through! Don't give up though, your children need you. Stay strong for their sake, I'm sure it's what your husband would want. Just take care of yourself. You will be in my prayers.

Answer 9

i am so sorry for your loss, the only way you can manage is by coping just take one day at a time or even one hour at a time, but also remember your children are going to need you to be strong cos they have lost there dad to try not to go to piece in front of them as this will upset them more. it will be difficult you dont say whether you have any family to help you out.

just be paitent with yourself dont expect yourself to perform miracles,
all the best
x

Answer 10

i haven't been through this , but i just wanted to say sorry for your loss and hang in there as hard as it may be it will get better in time. You may need to see a counsellor that deals with grieving as you need to be Strong for the kids :)
good luck with everything