I'm turning 30 in 5 months, i havn't had a serious relationship for 2yrs! My teenage neice has moved in with me, and im wondering just how unethical it would be to get pregnant by someone i know, who is unaware of my intentions.. I don't want to always be the aunt who has no kids but is always available to babysit because she loves them!!!
I want a child of my own and in this day and age, do i really need to be in a commited relationship to have one? I have also had an offer from someone i know who will help me out as long as i don't declare him on the certificate..! What to do? I feel like time is running out for me.. I live in a small town, work part-time, and would like to have a natural child and then possibly foster parent. I was a fostered child and i would like to create a stable environment for other children who need it. I don't think i would fit the criteria though, what are your thoughts??
2007-11-07 21:45:36 · 7 answers · asked by jukette 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I don't think its ethical for me to get pregnant accidently on purpose uno?
I think i will allow another 3 yrs before i do anything that could be described as selfish, but, if there is no man in my life, who is permanent, then i must have options. All my siblings have children, i am seriously the aunty that everyone has given up on for reproduction. I would be a great mum!! My sister gave me one of hers, she has faith in me! Seriously, im not gonna wait for a proposal, just to have a baby, that may mean i will never reproduce.
2007-11-07 23:16:52 · update #1
I'm going to share some hope with you: I was 25 when my husband divorced me. We had two children but I had no romatic relationships at all for seven years. I was ready to be the little old lady with a hundred cats. Then all of a sudden I realized this wonderful man who I was attracted to, felt the same way about me. It happend so fast, and I never could have predicted it. Now, a year later we are so happy and I'm pregnant & due in April. I will be 34 when the baby is born. They point of this is that it will happen for you, probably when you are least expecting it. Wait a few more years. Right now, however, you could consider adoption. There are so many children in the world that need someone to love them.
2007-11-07 23:43:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Due to medical problems I did not have a child until I was 40.
This makes me 10 to 15 years older than the other parents of my child's classmates. It has not been a big problem as my son has a group of friends and all these parents have allot of trust in their kids being here because of the fact that my hubby and I are older. So that turned out nice.
I am wondering how you could support a child on part time work and does this provide insurance for you and the baby.
Your generous friend is being very nice as far as donating sperm.. but his butt is not covered. If you ever ask for assistance from the state they demand to know who the dad is. Thus far they do not demand testing to proove who's dad.
but if things got too tough to handle the bills alone your friend could be in jeprody if you for some reason decided to reveal that he is the dad.
I know you are trying now to make the right decision but I think for the next few years it may be wise to start out as a foster parent. This way you can see how taxing it may be to care for youth as well as your self... I hope you have a car and insurance. I had to run my foster kids to the dentist for the entire 9 months..The clothing offered was at a designated store.. Our food help was okay money wise but we were not makeing extra so we could save for something special.
I wish you much luck in making a great decision that is right for you. God Bless take care
2007-11-08 06:10:57 · answer #2 · answered by Linda S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what your asking is wrong on several levels. you need to be in a committed married life before getting pregnant. you need a willing partner. think about how you would feel if you were a guy and a girl did this to you. its wrong. its very selfish and disrespectful. its wrong to the child. children deserve to be in a loving family with parents that love them. the child deserves better than this grow up, seriously this is very very immature.
you have at least 5 more years til your age makes you high risk. use this time to firstly get a full time job so you can care for a child. you cant on part time work. i am surprised you can afford a home on 25-30 hours a week. also to foster parent you have to be married single people arent permitted to foster
2007-11-08 08:04:11 · answer #3 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never, ever, EVER get pregnant while not telling the other person your intentions. It will only cause problems in the future. If you want a baby so bad, then I'd say foster parent or adopt. This friend that is willing to help, I would consider it, but then be sure that I have the right means to support the baby, because the way it sounds, if he doesnt want on the birth certificate, then he's not going to support the baby.
2007-11-08 05:56:47 · answer #4 · answered by Ashley 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a thought I'm sure single women everywhere have and especially at 30 I had my son in a horrible relationship and I was 29 when I had him I was happy to have a child before the dreaded 3-0 but then when I was out of my relationship with the father it was hard to deal with. And then I listen to my friends who are exactly like you and I let them know its not so great having a child to raise on you own because I had them say the same things you say. Please I know you want that person to love but its not all good and its a hard thing to do raising a child on your own. I mean picture yourself with your child and you're at a recital or one of there games don't you really picture yourself with a husband next to you? Then picture yourself by yourself cheering...but alone. Think good and hard.
2007-11-08 10:17:34 · answer #5 · answered by Danni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never get pregnant with out tell the partner about it. You will regret it. Its not right. If you are serious about getting pregnant with someone you should talk with the person.
Besides think of your future baby in this too. doing this could hurt your future baby emotionally.
I understand your wants here but think about what you are doing here. no matter if you are gonna be a real parent or foster parent, you have to be honest. if you get pregnant with out telling the possible future dad, that would be dishonesty
2007-11-08 06:26:16 · answer #6 · answered by JOYTOMYHEART 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you want to get pregnant and not have a man involved with the child, why dont you just go through artificial insemination with donor sperm. that way you can bypass having unprotected sex with a stranger. at least with the doctors involved you dont have to worry about contracting a std because you are trying to get pregnant.
2007-11-08 14:01:48 · answer #7 · answered by datchik 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋