How to deal with my one year old's temper tantrums?!?

Question

Our 1 year old son is clearly approaching 'toddlerhood' he has gone from being a smiley little baby to a very determined and sometimes quite cross little boy! He has started to scream and throw himself onto the floor each time we tell him not to do something or take him away from something he wants to do (climbing the stairs, going in the cupboards etc!) He will throw his head back onto the floor, which is so dangerous and we have to catch him so he doesnt hurt himself. and he will scream and cry until he has completely worked himself (and us) up.... i hate to see him crying like this, but i have been told to ignore it completely, even if i take him in my arms, he still screams... he also makes a very high pitched screaming noise if he gets stuck with his trolley walker, or if he can't get into something he wants to... it is driving us a bit mad! I have childproofed the house as much as possible to avoid these confrontations, but would really appreciate advice on how to deal with this!

Answer 1

This must be terrible for you especially in public. Trust me I been there. What I did is right after he hits the floor in frustration I grab him and take him away to a different area from what he wanted. At home I hold him outside or in the garage until he calmed down, at the store ( which was the worst) I would take him into the car until he calmed down, and if he didnt we would just leave which was such a inconvience. But after a couple of times and having talks with him he eventually learn that he wouldnt be going anywhere or getting anything by kicking and screaming.

Answer 2

I personally know how disterssing it can be to have a child gets into the habit of head-butting things (my younger brother did this) but trust me, he will do hiself no real harm.
The main reason i find toddlers do this is because they know parents find it very difficult to ignore this behaviour. However you must try to ignore him (i know it can be very distressing listening to a child cry), and within a few minutes he will probably get tired of having his tantrum or get a sore throat and stop with his tantrum.

If he starts screaming while in public thers two different things you can do - either ignore him and walk away (he will promptly stand up and run after you)or if this idea embarasses you too much then you can use a distraction technique (ie - look up, say can you see that bird flyong around, etc ..) it may sound a bit daft but it normally works with very small children.

Good luck with your little boy

Answer 3

You've obviously got yourself a bright little boy. The reason he behaves this way is that his ambitions are ahead of his abilities and he is frustrated. Clearly you have his safety uppermost in your mind and don't want him to access things which may harm him nor allow him to hurt himself.

Perhaps you could put a toybox containing some of the things he's after, such as plastic plates, cups, spoons and a few toys where he can reach them. You do have to ignore the inappropriate behaviour but he is probably still too young to learn much from experience. You just have to be patient, loving, firm and consistent.

Answer 4

my son was the exact same. I was sick of listening to my own voice. In the end if he threw himself on the ground he threw himself on the ground yeah he banged his head and after realising it hurt he stopped. Children are not stupid if something hurts them they know to stop it they will not keep doing it! When my son had a tantrum i simply said connor stop it or connor no. i never raise my voice. If you shout when you are annoyed or angry children think this is what you do and will copy. If he kept doing what i told him not to i lifted him and sat him on the sofa i told him you will sit there til you are told you can come down. The first couple of times he screamed and as soon as i put him on the sofa he got down i lifted him and put him straight back on without saying a thing. Eventually he stayed on the sofa. I left the room n would stand outside the door so he had no one to perform for after a while i would let him down telling him why i had put him up there and then he would have to say sorry and we would then carry on like normal after a hug. make sure if you use the sofa there is no tv on or toys around its meant to be boring and get out of the room do not respond in anyway.

Answer 5

If you are picking him up then you arent totally ignoring the behavior. You will have to ignore completely, walk away. IF you cant do that, just sit quietly beside him, no eye contact and read a magazine. That way you are close enough that you can put your hand under his head if hes trying to throw his head back. But dont say anything or pick him up. You could remove him to a safe place like a play pen, then walk away.

Answer 6

Well, the best way is to ignore him. I know it might seem like your a bad mom, but you don't. If you keep paying attention to him when he temper tantrum's, he'll think that's the way to get your attention more. I know it's hard and it will take time, but it will be worth it in the end.

Another thing you can do is to do a temper tantrum yourself when your at home. That way, he'll probably think you look ridiculous. And you could tell him the way you look ridiculous is the same way he looks. Every time he does it at home, you do the same. Then one day he''l get the drift that it looks dump.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Hi i know exactly how you feel my daughter has just left the terrible 2's and is in the troublesom 3's!! she has temper tantrums, i spoke to my health visitor and watched alot of super nanny and nanny 911!
My health visitor said walk away as they crave for the attention, regarding the head banging she said buy a bean bag and place child on it they can paddy away on that with no cause for concern with cracking head open on the hard floors.
Ive been doing this for about 3 months and its starting to work, silence is GOLDEN
Good Luck

Answer 8

You are not going to like this, but I suggest you start letting him try some of the things you are forbidding hi to do. With your complete supervision of course. You do want to raise an independent young man. So he has to learn things and some times it is the hard way.
If he wants to bang his head on the floor, let him. If it hurts him he will stop it. If he gets stuck, make him wait a minute before you come save him so he can figure a way out on his own. This will help him figure out problems on his own.

Work with him more and against him less.

Answer 9

Time out!!! Choose a spot. His crib is probably the safest place, and if he chucks a wobbly and doesn't stop when you warn him once ( 'x name' stop it!) in he goes for a couple of minutes or till he calms down. When you go back in to him make sure you say, 'No climbing stairs' or whatever the time out was for.

Trust me he'll get it soon enough and if you don't nip it in the bud and put him in a time out spot after a warning, it will get worse! This is only the beginning.

Answer 10

Don't give in to him.. thats the main thing.. if this behaviour in any way gets him what he wants, even if it is only attention he wants, it will continue.

He will grow out of it sooner, rather than later, if you show him the ONLY consequence of this behaviour is to be ignored.. COMPLETELY ignored. Walk away when he reacts like this if it annoys you coz he may pick up on this and this might be frustrating him even more.

Eventually it will stop as he learns that it gets no reaction from you.