ive been going out with this guy for about a year and recently i feel like he's just been using me for sex. The problem is that I love him so much and he knows that so he openly hooks up with other girls because he knows I'm not going to do anything about it. i always feel so sleazy and empty after i've been with him and it makes me do strange things because i feel like it will take away some of the pain and it really scares me. i cant break up with him i know it doesnt make any sense but i cant and i just love him so much and i dont know what to do.
2007-11-07 19:09:34 · 19 answers · asked by lalala 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
your heading to your question tells me you a bright young lady. honey , look in the mirror, hug yourself, tell yourself why you so special. move on sweetheart, you too good for him. love is like filling a glasss with a hole in the bottom. he needs to make you happy and that happiness u feel will fill the glass. hes draining you and you must put a stop to it. it will be very hard initially to let go, tell yourself that hes dead, mourn your loss and get over it. tell yourself every day that you special and important. good luck
2007-11-07 19:54:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have a few options.
1. You get up the courage to confront him about his cheating and draw the line for him. If he crosses it, he's out and you have to stick to your guns on that one. It''ll hurt for a bit, but you'll get over it and meet a better guy.
2. You can use him for something. Then the whole thing becomes a bitter relationship heading for a painful disaster.
3. You continue to do nothing and one day he brings home a dick full of HIV, herpes, and chlamadia and then you get to explain to everyone why your sex life is a shambles and why you can't have children.
Personally, I'd go with 1. I know it doesn't feel like it, but there's enough room in the human heart for a LOT of love. Give it to some guy that deserves it, not this idiot.
2007-11-08 03:18:00 · answer #2 · answered by Nathan D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are your own worst enemy in this case and you are totally an accomplice to this guy.
You need to dump him.
I'm making a few guesses here, but it sounds like you enjoy sex and you are very attracted to this man. Unfortunately, he is not returning your affection and he IS taking you for granted.
Don't beat yourself up too badly. I did the same thing in my first marriage--I wanted my wife to love me and be faithful, but she knew she could get away with whatever she wanted to do because I didn't dump her. Eventually I woke up and smelled the coffee grounds.
I divorced her and have absolutely no regrets about doing so--I do regret the fact that marriage failed, but I don't blame myself for it. I remarried and so has she.
Your feeling sleazy and empty is your psyche warning you this is not a good relationship.
Listen to your psyche and dump him.
There are better guys out there and you will enjoy sex as much with them or more and they will love and appreciate you. It's worth being a little patient.
2007-11-08 03:19:27 · answer #3 · answered by Warren D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"i always feel so sleazy and empty after i've been with him and it makes me do strange things because i feel like it will take away some of the pain and it really scares me"
do you like feeling this way? do you like cutting, or drinking or whatever you do to yourself to punish yourself for sleeping with him ?
does it scare you that i know what you are talking about ?
you need a shrink. sex is supposed to feel good. not like you just got mugged.
2007-11-08 03:21:14 · answer #4 · answered by Jr. is angry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I would really consider going to counseling and find out why you are so dependent on this one person. Once you have taken a session or two focusing on your self esteem I would highly advise that you break it off with this guy, before something terrible happens. Especially if he is sleeping around, so many ways you can catch something now adays.
2007-11-08 03:13:26 · answer #5 · answered by steven c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop being a victim and move on with your life. Sounds like you have a brain and common sense. If you have trouble breaking up with him. Get some professional help. good luck
2007-11-08 03:29:55 · answer #6 · answered by foghat77 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you love about him. He messes around with other women , it appears to me he does not love you the same way you love him. Don't be a victim. You sound like you are young. You can do better.
2007-11-08 03:16:09 · answer #7 · answered by teclady45 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a victim. Stop it. Take control of your life. Move on and find new (male) habits. There are millions of fish in the sea and some are monogamous.
2007-11-08 03:12:25 · answer #8 · answered by TryItOnce 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why do you honor this man -- who treats you so badly, and mentally abuses you -- with your love? Additionally, you have to remember that you're sleeping with everyone he's sleeping with, and everyone they're sleeping with. Reality check! This is the AIDS era!
So, please start loving who you are, which won't allow him to treat you so. What it will do is make your light shine brighter, and attract someone who will value what you have to offer. Please also don't get caught in the trap of low self-esteem . . . Realize your power, the gift of your love, and share it with someone who will appreciate it.
Best of luck to you . . .
2007-11-08 03:30:55 · answer #9 · answered by AgonyAuntie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know the feeling that u are feeling right now baby girl just go on with your life and u will find someone who deserves u. just do let him play with your feelings.
love u & take care
2007-11-08 03:19:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋