My son got bullied at school?

Question

Can I do something about it? my husband told me to leave it alone, would you recommend martial art for a 5 years old?

Answer 1

I will give you my honest opinion...

I think you should let him take martial arts and also tell him not to take no crap off of no one! I was tortured in school... it ruined me. In high school I was a loner, I didn't do much... From early elementary school I never took up for myself, other "bullies" saw the way I let people push me around and this made me a very easy target. I never took up for myself until the 7th grade, someone hit me twice and I turned around and whooped her butt. Never again did she bother me. After that I was in a lot of fights... and even tho I never took up for myself until then I guess I had so much built up rage that I never lost a fight... ever. The best thing I can tell you to do it to let him know that it is okay to stick up for himself and to fight back when necessary and that NO ONE is meant to be walked on.

Answer 2

I think that is a great idea for your son to take lessons. It will give him an outlet, a sense of discipline, and , he will meet some new friends as well. As far as the bullying situation, do you have all of the details ?? Was it a physical fight or just a shouting or being " picked on " for a particular reason ( verbal bullying) ?? In some ways, I agree with your husband. Your son needs to learn on his own, such life experiences. But, I would set up a meeting with the Principal or Vice Principal. In addition, your son should also be at the meeting. Many people may say that teaching your son defense maneuvers, may only increase violence. But, I am a mother as well and, I have taught them to stand up for themselves. That's just how life is sometimes. Should you decide to enroll your son in a Martial Arts program, let him be aware that he should only use his lessons on the outside world if he is in physical danger. I hope that this helps and Good Luck !!
Ruth

Answer 3

Brother, we tried all the politically correct crap when my sons were bullied in school. They went on about how its part of growing up, and blah blah blah. My answer -- home school. I'd rather work 2 jobs and sleep 4 hours a night, than have my little ones go through what thier older brothers did. The school aint gonna do anything man. They won't risk pissing off 2 families when right now theres only 1. You have to take away thier meal ticket ( your child which=state funding). Home schooled children are usually better all around academically than the publicly schooled counter-parts. If I remember right , the 2000 US spelling bee championship - 7 out of the final 10 were home schooled.

Answer 4

It seems like everyone I know who has a son in kindergarden had has problems with bullies. My son did too. They had a thing where the boys were punching each other in the groin.

I told my son, that if someone hits you or punches you to punch them back. It sounds bad, I know, but it's like the other girl said, people do that to test you..yes, even at that age. They test you to see what you will do, and if they think they can get away with hitting you without you reciprocating, they will do it again and again. And even if your son doesn't hit back, he still risks getting in trouble. My son used to get in trouble like that. Someone would hit him and then when he complained, the other kid said that my son hit him first and they would both get into trouble.

Teacher's simply can't fix everything, but at least if your son learns to defend himself early, he will be more likely to make it in school without constantly being messed with.

As far as martial arts go, I think it is a great idea anyway even if he isn't getting messed with. If he tries it and likes it, it would be a good way for him to release aggression, it teaches discipline, he will also meet other boys/girls with same interests... and it teaches them coordination and helps them build self esteem at the same time..and it's great excercise!!!

Answer 5

5 years old is not too young to start learning a martial art. I can see your husband's point. For you to let it alone is not to do "nothing" as someone suggested. It is letting your son work it out for himself.

You have talked about your son being "a little monster". This might be a learning situation for him. How does he like it when someone is mean to him? Tell him you don't like him being mean to you either.

People who have suggested that if your son fights back he is only learning that violence works, are ignorant. He needs to learn to fight back. Bullies will keep bullying until they learn that they will get punched in the nose if they do it again.

Bullies do not like it when someone fights back. They only bully people that they think won't fight back! I wish I had started to learn a martial art when I was 5 y/o. It will help him for all the rest of his life.

Answer 6

Yes, this would be the best thing a loving parent could do. If you find a good instructor, your child will gain confidence, and learn respect for himself and others. Here is a couple martial arts to look into:

Judo

Tae Kwon Do

Boxing

Kung Fu

All are great styles. You might need to press him a little to practice, but he will thank you for it later. Good luck

Answer 7

I know voilence is wrong, but sadly it works. When I was in jr. high I got bullied. When I went in to h.s. I made up my mind I wasnt gonna take it. So the first person that had somthing smart to say, I punched her right in her face, yeah i got suspended and my parents werent mad eother. They understood. And guess what never ever did I ever have a problem again, with anyone.

Answer 8

Your husband told you to leave it alone?! Nice guy.
Tell the school about it, see how they react. Some will sweep it under the carpet and you won't hear about it again. So wait a couple days after telling them, then ask them if it got sorted out. And ask your boy if the bully apologised.
My daughter's old school always made the culprit aplologise to the child, no matter how small the issue. Her current school has a serious bullying problem, and she has started to suck her thumb in response. Tomorrow is her last day there.

Good luck, and listen to yourself, not your husband. My child's father says zilch about it, he'd let it continue until she fell apart.

Answer 9

let me tell you about my first day of school here in the States.

i was 10. 5th grade. i didn't speak a word of English. I was tiny kid in Korea, you can only imagine how tiny I was here, among fat American kids.

From 1st period on, I was picked on by 3 bullies that bullied around the entire school. 2nd period came, same thing. 3rd.. 4th.. then came lunch.

I didn't know anyone, I didn't speak a word. I ate alone at the end of a table.

after lunch, we all went outside, and here they come, the 3 bullies. this time they got physical. They started to push me around physically. I took it, and took it, and I finally lost it.

What they didn't know was that I was 2nd degree black belt, taught from Korea.

In matter of seconds, the biggest bully suffered broken nose and cracked rib. 2nd one also suffered broken nose. 3rd one ran away crying. They actually had to call an ambulance.

I never made it the entire first day, then I got suspended for a week.
The parents of the bullies threatened lawsuit until I had the entire school's signature saying it was self defense.

When I came back, I instantly became the most popular kid in school. those 3 guys never bothered me once. Matter fact, they were scared of me. They never bothered anyone else for that matter. Funny thing, we eventually we became friends in High School when we were teammates in Football.
i never once had a chip on my shoulder. I was more embarrassed that it had to come to that.

Not for one second, I wanted to lean to violence, but to save my own behind, I had to.

If they teach your kid right, he will walk very softly but he'll know that he's carrying a big stick.

do it.

Answer 10

Yeah, there are things can be done about it...

1: You can talk to the school's principal and whoever takes care of your son's profile at the school about the problem and let them deal with it. The bullying might not stop right away, but after the kids get into trouble enough, they will eventually quit.

2: And yes, I would recommend enrolling your son in a self-defense class, perhaps one branch of the many branches of Kung Fu, or perhaps Aikido. I took Aikido in school and learned several ways to disarm and floor opponents by using my attacker's force against him; I hardly had to fight at all. You'd be surprised how fast a fight can end after disabling any three joints on the body, whether by breaking or by restraint-- they may teach both pieces of the technique and teach when each is most applicable.

3: You could try talking to the bully's parents to see what they have to say about it... you could even do it at the school with the principal, I hear that gets really good results upon occasion. Of course, it could make you life-long enemies, depending on their response. "They're just being kids" is not an acceptable answer.

Just make sure your kid knows not to pick fights after he learns a few things. Yes, some forms of martial art are based on attacking first, but learning how to-- as Bruce Lee put it in Enter The Dragon-- "Fight without fighting" is always the better way to go. Good luck with your dillema there, and have fun.