i love my parents... everytime i try to get them to stop yelling i just get yelled at... i dont know what to do. especially my dad, he SERIOUSLY has temper problems.... i cant do anything about it... its so weird though.. cause some days they are like freaking pissed at each other then the next, they are like normal parents... sometimes i just REALLY HATE THEM. im so... ugh.. i dont know.
2007-11-07 13:22:04 · 10 answers · asked by joylovepeace@mail.com 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Truth: This behavior is normal (as long as physical violence is not involved).
Truth: Good parents do this behind closed doors and NOT in front of the kids.
Truth: Do all you can to get away and out of the house when this happens. Eventually, you will be out of the house as an adult.
Truth: When NO ONE is mad and all is Calm, talk to them both at the dinner table and ONLY state the following:
"I love both of you, but when the two of you fight, it makes me feel very upset and it makes it hard to do my homework. Can I ask both of you, if you are going to fight, can you please do it when I'm not around or quietly so I don't have to hear it?"
2007-11-07 13:36:42 · answer #1 · answered by Dina K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this the way things have always been or is it fairly new behavior? It's possible they're going through something stressful that they don't want you to know about. If they've always been this way and they're able to be "normal" again, it may just be their communication style. If it's new, they're having a difficult time about something and they're trying to work things out.
The worst thing for you to do is try to get them to stop yelling at each other at the time that it's happening. Tempers are high and, as you found out, they'll gang up on you. Wait until they're normal and ask them why they yell all the time. Tell them how it makes you feel. Ask them if they're having problems and if they are, ask them to try to find a better way to work things out so you don't have to listen to it.
A lesson for you in this is that, as you said, you can't do anything about it. You have to let people be who they are. You can't change their behavior. However, you can voice your feelings about their behavior so they know the effect they're having on you. I know it's not easy but it sounds like they love each other which is why they're able to be normal after yelling at each other.
2007-11-07 13:32:15 · answer #2 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage isn't easy but I agree with you that the yelling needs to stop. If they can't stop yelling at each other then maybe they could at least respect you and not yell when you are around. I never thought much of yelling, it does not accomplish anything. This should be a learning experience for you. Remember it when you marry and make sure you don't make the same mistake.
2007-11-07 13:37:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do either of the parents drink? sounds like a pattern, and I am so sorry. They love you, but do not know how to show it well. Of course you hate them sometimes. But your love is real since you would not write it here if you did not love them.
May I suggest a counselor at school or from a church? Or maybe you could go to Al-anon which is a group of 12 steppers who help each other to live with people who are difficult to live with. If you are younger, there is ala-teen. (like AA but for the non-drinking people) Look in the phone book.
Hugs.
A
2007-11-07 13:31:31 · answer #4 · answered by thisbrit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your father has temper problems to the point of it getting physical,encourage your mother to seek help.Even if your dad refuses to get help,you and your mom need it.It sounds like they are dealing with some issues though.If it resolves itself in a timely manner,then chalk it up to experience of what not to do in a marriage for when you get married.If it doesn't,try speaking with them about the situation when they are actually getting along.Explain how it makes you feel when they fight and how it affects your performance at school and your friendships with your peers.Also,explain how it makes you feel about them.A little honesty can go a long way.
2007-11-07 13:44:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like they definitely have some stressors in their relationship. Do you have a way to tape their arguments? Maybe they don't realize what they are doing to you. You could talk to a school counselor about it. Have you tried, in a calm way, to just talk to them when they aren't fighting. When they are arguing, that's not the time to jump in. But when they are in a good, normal mood is the time when you need to just say, "Can I talk to you guys about something?" and then let them know how you are feeling. Good luck...
2007-11-07 13:31:13 · answer #6 · answered by ladybug 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My parents do that to I wouldn't try to get in between it though because it might make things worst.
2007-11-07 13:36:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-28 13:42:39 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya poor thing as long as you that that is not the right way to treat your other half ........... i would just stay out of it and not get involved in the arguments
2007-11-07 13:52:33 · answer #9 · answered by jess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know what to tell u cause i go through the same thing too...
2007-11-08 11:27:41 · answer #10 · answered by manuel p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋