How do I reject a co-worker's request for a date without becoming the office villain?

Question

I just started a new job. I am 29 years old and single. A girl I work with at the office is practically throwing herself at me and asking me to go out with her. I am not interested in her for numerous reasons. She is very chummy with a lot of the other women in the office. I am the new guy and just learning the ropes. How do I say "No" to this girl without turning into "the bad guy" or the office villain? I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to date her but I don't want all of her friends who I work with to hate me.

Answer 1

Just tell her you're still getting to know the ropes around the office and you'd rather not get involved with anyone at this time.

Answer 2

Your situation is actually very common,and fortunately for you, you own issue is simple to resolve. I suggest the following:1)tell her you are very flattered by her interest but you are already dating someone, a relationship that is still very young2) tell her that the company policy frowns on dating between co-workers3) tell her that state and federal laws also discourage dating because of the fear of sexual harassment or abuse4)tell her as she knows, you just started the job and are still trying to know your way around.5) that but for the above reasons, you would have been proud to date her since she has all the qualities you're looking for in a woman.I also suggest that you keep and save any emails, text messages,phone calls and any other communication between the two of you just in case if she gets angry at your rejection and decides to get back at you.Whenever possible, have a live witness also.I hope though that you are not sending her mixed signals, or enjoying the attention you are getting from her.If you do the above in a nice way ,things should work out for you.All the best.

Answer 3

Tell her you really want to, but you just got off a bad break, and dont want her to be the rebound.

Tell her you dont want to give your heart to someone unless its really you doing it, and not the hurt or loneliness.

Tell her that you were introduced to another girl who seems very compatible, and you dont want to do anything that would feel like cheating on a relationship that has a potential to go somewhere.

Tell her that you think your boss wont treat you professionally, or give you professional respect if you start dating the cutest girl in the office right after you start. Ask her if she can wait just long enough for you to establish enough professional credibility and in-office-time to avoid that.

Read the book "how I kissed dating goodbye". Have a copy sitting on your desk. When done say "Im not in it for the dating, but for courtship and marriage. I know who I am and where I want to be. Here read this." Its a Christian book.

Find the music she loves, and adopt the music opposite thereto. You can learn to love country, or nine-inch-nails, or vivaldi. Music is considered a very good indicator of compatibility. Opposite means pick what she cant stand, not pick something that would be a cute social pairing (like country when she loves rock and hates rap).

Tell her the truth. Dont lie. If something I suggest saying is not true, dont say it.

Answer 4

Easy tell her a relationship in the office right now would be very hard for exspeacially since you just started the new job. Then tell her maybe (and stress the maybe) in the future you might be able to have a relationship. Then you wont be labled as a villan.

Answer 5

obviously don't tell her the truth. you'll have to lie

1.you can say that at your job before you dated someone and it turned out very badly. after that you decided that you absolutely made it your policy to not date co-workers.

2. you could tell her that you just got out of a serious relationship and that your not ready to date anyone new. you just want to focus on your self for the time being.

3. tell her you have a girl friend who you are seperated with and your both figuring out if the two of you are going to get back together and make it work.

one of these could work out.

good luck. hope this was helpful

Answer 6

That's the point why date a co-worker because you are worried what other people thinks...Really who cares what other people thinks I just don't get that...It will be more worst if you date her and stop dating her...Best decision to say NO now and that's what you really want to do ...and the right thing to do to than lie...

Answer 7

I work in human resources and have had people come to me on several occassions when they could not deal with it themselves. The easiest way to take care of this and to avoid becoming the office villian would be to tell her that you prefer to keep your work life and personal seperate. She should accept that and if she does make it a hostile environment for you can speak with your HR rep.

Answer 8

1. tell her that you've recently broken up with someone and are not "emotionally prepared" to handle another relationship
2. "I'm seeing someone"
3. "Right now, I need to concentrate on work and family"
4. "i'm re-evaluating my priorities, I need some time
5. I'm in love with someone else and am waiting for her."
6. I've taken a vow of chastity.
7. Make weird hand signals that implies that you've suddenly gone deaf and mute.

Answer 9

i'll throw you a rope,
you can say,
1, your have to watch a family member, like a neice
2, you are going to be out of town with a friend
3, gotta move a plasma tv for your buddy

Answer 10

Tell her that it's your policy not to date co-workers.
Don't dip your pen in the company ink!
No fishing off the company pier!