Why is it that when women/girls are having babies, and they are not married, they more than often don't want to give the baby the father's name? The reasons are always because of not being married (but most are in a relationship with that man), or because he cheated on her, or because it's easier for mom and baby to have the same last name. Why does the father get left out? It's his baby too, so why doesn't he get to have the same last name? Being a boyfriend/husband and a father are 2 different things. Maybe the relationship didnt work out, but doesn't mean that he isn't going to be a good father. Especially with teen girls, they just seem to assume that the father isn't going to be in the picture when they don't know. And everyone makes a point to say the baby belongs to just the mother. They seem to forget that the baby has a dad. I know there are the guys out there that don't want the baby and never do anything to help, or take part in their lives, but many do.
2007-11-07 13:15:48 · 8 answers · asked by trcyddy 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
If you read closely, you will see that I mentioned there are guys out there that don't want the baby or don't do anything to help. You have a very good reason for giving your son your last name. I'm talking about the women who don't use the father's last name just because they are not married, or because she feels the baby is all hers because it's in her body, just for a couple of examples.
2007-11-07 13:29:10 · update #1
Wow! I never said it was my choice. Just curious. If it's their choice, then they shouldn't be asking everyone on here whose name to give their babies. I was honestly just wondering the reasoning behind it. Why the last name is such a toss up nowadays. And as for complaining about my own situation, just what exactly do you think my situation is? Hmm, let's see, I'm happily married with 4 children, so what am I complaining about?
2007-11-07 13:36:10 · update #2
you are very correct. im a teen mother, my baby will have my boyfriends name. people need to understand its not a one man show... it takes two
2007-11-07 13:33:33 · answer #1 · answered by xyourxmyxonexandxonlyx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There seems to be a move away from long standing traditions - some women now believe it is not necessary for their child to carry on the paternal surname and want to pass on their own names to their children. I don't know if it is because women are more empowered and equal in relationships and society and therefore feel that it is an acceptable decision. Some married couples even allow this - I knew a family where two of the children had the father's surname and the other two had the mother's - all were born to the same parents. I personally feel that the tradition of paternal surnames is the way to go - I research family history and feel it would be too confusing for everyone if naming patterns were so flexible. It is also confusing for me, as a teacher, when children have different surnames to their parents. I can understand when there is a situation with a father who has done something terrible and therefore the mother, as the sole parent, uses her surname for the child. Perhaps in some instances the mother isn't sure who the father actually is - this seems to happen a lot (have you seen the paternity test epsiodes on Maury Povich?)
I think that, where the father is a complete *** and not involved at all, is the only sensible reason for not giving his name to a child and other reasons are just confusing and unneccessary. I agree with you that the father is often left out. My husband, whether we were married or not, would be deeply offended if I did not give our children his name and rightly so.
A bit of a long-winded message and not really an answer I suppose but that is what I think!
2007-11-07 21:32:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know. I just had a baby two weeks ago and his father and I aren't married. I gave my son his dads last name because that's how it should be. I didn't want him to have a hyphanated last name because it's too confusing. My family was actually mad at me for giving my baby his fathers last name. I'm not sure why though...
2007-11-07 21:36:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son has his fathers last name. Why did i do that? Just if we get married, and its' easier that way then to change it. :)
I'm 24 years old, and obviously not married. My dad was P!ssed off because my son didn't have MY last name. No matter what, my son is always going to have his same dad, if he's in his life or not.
2007-11-07 21:59:34 · answer #4 · answered by ツ Connors Mommy ツ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Last I checked, the large majority of babies in the US have the fathers last name. Instead of proving a point/statistic, looks more like your complaining about your own situation.
Plus why not the womans name. You never mention that. They are also the parent.
2007-11-07 21:25:52 · answer #5 · answered by lillilou 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Considering that my son's father thought using drugs was more important than being with me and his child, I feel totally justified in giving my son MY last name. His father doesn't deserve it...You are really generalizing here....
So now I get a thumbs down, whatever...his dad LEFT us while I was 2 months pregnant and has not been back to even ask when he was born, so take your thumbs down (whoever gave it) and stick it you know where....
2007-11-07 21:19:46 · answer #6 · answered by alikat 4 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Because society doen't put an emphasis on father's rights or marriage for that matter. Many women use things like this as a "getback" to the dad. They really end up hurting their own child.
2007-11-07 21:20:09 · answer #7 · answered by s7e28w81 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
that's their choice not yours. you shouldn't even be questioning it. i'm sure they all have their own reasons. and the babies can still have fathers even if they don't have the same last name.
2007-11-07 21:25:05 · answer #8 · answered by The Spazz 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋