Is this abuse?

Question

A classmate of mine (college) has a daughter the same age as mine (4). She was saying her daughter took a bite out of all the apples in the fridge then threw them away after the first bite and wasted them, so she showed her pictures on the internet of starving children in Africa and told her that all those kids were starving because they didn't have enough food so she should never throw her food away and should eat all that she takes.

I get the purpose behind it, but I feel that it might have been too harsh.. Opinions?

My apologies on using the term abuse. It's not really what I meant- I meant "Overly harsh"

Answer 1

No, my boyfriend does come from one of those starving families. He is so grateful to have a full plate of food everyday, it really does amaze me. Something that I had taken for granted growing up. He literally got one meal a day of rice and beans and on a good day his mom would bring him a mango or a piece of sugar cane to chew on. He was malnourished and close to dead when missionaries took him to a hospital in the states. I do think children in the US take food for granted, I mean could you imagine not being able to give your child and food because there was none? or because you couldn't afford it? It would be hear breaking. I don't think she was harsh at all and I wish other parents would do that. I hope this helped.

Answer 2

I understand the mother's frustration but a child at age four is not going to relate to pictures on the internet of starving children!

Nor would it be helpful for the mother to sign herself and her daughter up to work a soup kitchen.

All these tactics would be useful for a child of ten and above but for a four year old who has little to no concept of the "others" in her life, that mom should explain wastefulness in a way a four year old can understand. Little Jane we don't throw away food after one bite. Mommy will get you a snack and you should eat it at the table. Jane should be given "control" of the kitchen for a while.

This sounds like there just might be more to this story than we know. Has the child been made to believe that everything is hers and she can do with it what she wants. Does the child have too much and therefor believes its OK to throw things away she doesn't like?

I think the thought was good but the tactic was a little reactionary..abusive...no... reactionary..I think so

Answer 3

First off the mother should have been watching her if you took a bite out of all the apples the thur them away.

Second you need to tell her to take one apple a day and cut it up in and place in a bag maybe she did not want the Whole apple but just a bite. what do you think???

Or mom does not give enough attention to the child so she did it to get some kind of attention even if it is bad...

Let me know what you think?

Answer 4

Heck no. If my daughter went thru my fridge and took one bite out of every apple in the fridge I'd do something too. It was probably just the first thing that came to her mind other that whooping the heck out of her butt, so oh well. Kids are too sheltered in today society. They think that they have it oh so bad, but in reality we have so many things to be greatful for. I think that maybe 4 was a little too young to be doing that, but no, I don't think it was overly harsh.

Answer 5

I know when I was growing up, I would get the lecture of the starving children who would love to eat my leftovers and not complain. However showing pictures may have been a bit much for a 4 year old to comprehend. I have an (almost) four year old, and I know she eats like a bird, so I cut up apples and other fruits and veggies and give them to her in small amounts. I wouldn't go so far as to label it abuse, but maybe overkill.

Answer 6

No it's not abuse. No more than it would be abuse for the parents in those staring countries to encourage their children not to waste food because the kid next door died for a lack of food. I thought you were gonna say she pulled all the partially eaten apples out of the trash and made her eat til she puked - now that would be abuse.

Answer 7

Everyone parents differently and sometimes, things that you might see as extreme might be the only method that will work for the child. I think that idea was not half bad. If the child does it all the time, and got different punishments that never worked, maybe this time it will work. It is not abuse. She was just showing her daughter the truth and teaching her why is it important not to waste

Answer 8

No, absolutely not. She's just being strict. Her daughter should not have wasted food like that when children literally are starving in other countries. We in America must make our children more disciplined. I'm not being mean or harsh; that's just the way it is.

Answer 9

this sounds alot like the story ''ramona'' when she ate a crap load of apples since the ''first bite is always the best'' either case i think that was a good way to show her that she needs to not be so wastefull in the future. i dont see how ''harsh'' that is.
wether you or anyone else likes it, that is the real world and she might as well understand that now.

my advice is for that mom to make ''lots'' of applesauce:)

Answer 10

I don't think showing a child reality to instill a lesson is abuse. Instead of just saying, "now don't do that", the parent showed her child why. We should not shield our children from all the realities of the world. By showing children how good they have it will hopefully help them to not be selfish as they grow, as well as to develop sympathy for others.