Christians: What would you do if your son/daughter told you they are gay?

Question

Well I'm a lesbian and I am unsure if I should tell my christian parents or wait another year until I move out and go to college. How would you react to your son/daughter telling you that they are gay?

Answer 1

I Would prob not know what to say, I would give them a hug and maybe ask a lot of questions.


You know your parents, it really depends on how strongly they feel about homosexuality. If they are very religious I might wait till I was out of the house.

Answer 2

If my daughter told me that she was gay, I'd still love her as I always have. The revelation won't change who she is to me, even though I would be disappointed (mostly at myself) as a parent. People are people, and I'm pretty darn sure that if I took a poll of parents that would support their daughter, whether they personally believe living a lesbian lifestyle was morally wrong or not, you'd find a majority of them who are religious and/or churchgoers. Why? Because they are taught according to their religious upbringing to never abandon a son or daughter, even because of any seriously differing views of how their daughter should conduct her life. Love and support is the priority, and is not compromised, like I said no matter what their convictions are about homosexuality. Sadly, I'm sure it is by far just the opposite from what you hear from all the hysteria and spin from mass media and alot of activists, especially in most colleges across the nation.

I guess the red flags that I'd be aware of before telling my parents would be whether they've had a habit of labeling and judging others, somewhat like Archie Bunkerisms. And, of course, if they are quite legalistic, rather than relational and circumstancial in their judgement when making decisions in life, especially when it involves their loved ones. But, even if they are more rigid, as a parent, I believe that they'd probably would want to know anyway. Please just be more prepared for unpleasantries beforehand, if you can. In other words, wait until financial dependence for things like schooling are over, if they are more like the latter, if that's what you're worried about.

Answer 3

I think a part of me would be stunned and weirded out for a few moments while I readjusted my world-view, but another part of me would probably have suspected for a while.

My nephew came out a couple of years ago, and my husband and I had both suspected for a while that he was gay but never mentioned it to each other. When he came out, my feeling was, "Ah, X, Y, and Z observations I've had of him throughout his life all make sense, now."

In any case, I would not personally consider it a big deal, except that I would have to let the rest of the family know, and I wouldn't be sure of their reactions.

I think it might be better to wait until you no longer live under your parents' roof before you tell them. That way, if they do react with anger, at least you won't have to live in the same house with it, and you will have a safe place where you can go.

I wish you the best, and I hope this turns out well for you and your parents.

Answer 4

I would wait until I moved out if I were you. A relative of mine went thru that same thing. It broke her mom's. It was a phase for her though. So, while I am a Christian, I do try not to judge, and that is what my truthful answer is. You parents will be heartbroken anyway. So expect it. and you won't want to rush that. Waite until you are out and the time is right. And don't expect them to just 'understand'
blessings

Answer 5

She is my child...of course I would love her no differently, but the lifestyle is not something that I could ever condone or approve of, and if she knows how serious I am about my faith, she would understand and respect that.

I would remain faithful to Jesus Christ above all, and I would try to teach my daughter why what she is doing is wrong and not good for her. I would love my daughter and talk with her about anything and everything she felt comfortable sharing, and if she wanted my opinion or advice, obviously I would give it truthfully. I would do everything I could for her just as I would in any situation. Above all I would pray that she learns and grows in understanding of Jesus Christ so that one day before it is too late, she would repent, and turn away from this sin. And yes it is sin.

What God determines is wrong for us is not out of spite or pettiness, it is because God knows what heartache and penalty there is for doing what is wrong. God doesn't want us to suffer for our sins...it is why He gave us Christ to pay for them so we wouldn't have to...but He tells us specifically what is right and wrong in the Bible, out of love, not out of some sick pleasure in withholding things from us. Because He knows all, and wishes to spare us from the suffering we could otherwise avoid if we only listened to Him, he gives us His commandments and His examples of how we ought to live.

I would tell her that just because people want to believe that what they "define" as love should be available to all people by all people, physically as well as emotionally...homosexuality is lust. There is no physical and emotional bond with a child by both parents, only the birth mother, and the very creation of a child in such circumstance must make use of a 3rd party individual with no bond or tie other than biological. There is no binding commitment between the two before God because He will not bless such a union. There is only a biological tie to one parent by the child, who will of course God willing, grow old enough to ask the question...who is my birth mother, and where is my father. This lifestyle can also cause all manner of problems in determining custody if the two people broke up, or fall apart. It releases the responsibility of the non-biological mother in cases of alimony, since medically it is not her child.

She could get mad and rail against me and at God for setting such a rule, but it does not make it magically go away, or the problems that stem from this lifestyle any less real and true.

What else could I do. In the end my daughter is responsible for her own choices. I would provide an environment of love and trust for her that would not change. If she needs me, I will be there.

While she lives under my roof I would ask her to respect our wishes and our faith. Not to have any kind of relations within our home that goes against our beliefs. Once she was on her own, she must live her own life and accept the responsibility for her own actions. We all die alone and are accountable for what "we" do, not what others do.

She would always be my daughter, and I would certainly protect and defend her from any bigotry and hatred directed towards her by any self-righteous individuals who may believe that they themselves are somehow "without sin," with God's help, Grace and Mercy.

Take Care and God Bless you.

Answer 6

I would love my child..gay or not..but they'd have to understand that as a Christian..I couldn't accept their choice of lifestyle. I believe homosexuality to be wrong..they would know that growing up in my house.

My advice would be for you to wait until you leave home before you tell them.

Answer 7

I would be disappointed but still love him just as I do now. Maybe try to find out the whens, where's, whys and such but I would try my best to be as civil as possible while trying to understand, because he knows how I feel on the subject. I personally don't think he would say anything until he moved out though. GOD BLESS!!

Answer 8

Well, I'm not your parents. You will have to judge their reactions according to how well you know them already.

That being said, it wouldn't change my love for the child. I'd still do the things I thought were best and all that.

As a christian parent I have to apply the principle of love ya know.

Answer 9

Well, they will probably be heartbroken... but they aught to know. Keeping secrets is hard and will ware on you. I'll pray for you that God will give you and your parents both wisdom in this, and that his love and glory will be shown in the whole matter. Young Lady, God loves you and stands ready to save you from your sin... I hope you know that (I'm not talking just about homosexuality, i'm talking about sin... something that every one of us has.) It doesn't matter that you're a lesbian, God stands ready to save you. I hope you know he loves you and doesn't want you to burn in hell. He died for you on a cross so that you didn't have to. God bless

Answer 10

If one of my sons told me that he was homosexual, first of all I would explain to him that he is more than just his sexual feelings. He does not have to define himself as a person based primarily on what particular type of lust he experiences.

Second, I would tell him that his lusts don't have to rule his life. Just because he feels attracted to men, does not mean he must go to bed with them. I am often attracted to women I am not married to, but I don't act on it, I stay faithful to my wife.

Since homosexual urges are objectively abnormal, I would try to get him help, maybe through the group Courage.