I met this woman when I first entered college, and we became friends. We like to get together once and awhile away from school for a movie or playing board games, etc,.. However, almost every single time we have made plans, they either don't fall through, or we do them hours after the time planned. The reason for this is her tardiness. We'll make an agreement to meet a venue, i'll get there, and she won't be there. I've waited hours for her on so many different occasions. I'll call her numerous times, yet I may not get a hold of her until the next day. She gives me excuses like she went to sleep or decided to clean.
Does this not sound like complete and utter disrespect to me?
Most of the time we agree that it would be best if we met at my place to play games and what not. She won't show up until 3-5 hours after the agreed upon time. I've told her many times that I want to start playing early, like after supper so I don't stay up all night and am tired when I get up with my son.
2007-11-07 10:31:35 · 14 answers · asked by ? 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I've tried to talk to her about it, but she always changes the subject.
I don't know what to do with her, and this has caused some tension from me to her and we have grown apart.
We were supposed to meet up twice in the last month. One she decided not to come and at least had the courtesy to call me after my repeated phone calls. The second I didn't show up at her place to go out. I never contacted her about deciding not to go because I had fallen asleep from exhaustion with school and taking care of my son. It has only been the first time on my part that I have done this. And she told me I ditched her....how do you figure that out?
2007-11-07 10:35:35 · update #1
Well for those who may come back to this question, I do enjoy her company.
I don't want to "cut her off" per se because I have to see her every single day, and my friends are her friends too. I have considered it, but it would be a very tense environment for me to go to everyday, and I am very serious about my schooling.
I don't want a big soap opera to arise from this situation.
2007-11-08 00:45:22 · update #2
Yes, that's a total disregard for you and your time. She's not a friend. Friends respect one another. Emergencies come up, but not everytime. Sounds like you either need to have a talk with her or let the friendship go.
2007-11-07 10:35:20 · answer #1 · answered by First Lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the fact that you keep going through the motions with your so called friend tells me that it's not only your friend who has a problem but it's you too.
A lack of self respect on your part is why you keep allowing this person to disrespect you by being late, not showing up at all, not giving you a courtesy call and just not caring period.
This person is not your friend and you need to cut her off for good.
Don't feel bad about doing it either.
Find some new friends who have good characters and personalities.
But most off all have respect for yourself and demand respect from others.
2007-11-07 20:07:05 · answer #2 · answered by ♥SLIM♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will never change. Since her friends are your freinds too,
I would invite them all to your house for cards/tea/or whatever
at a certain time, and then start your games /serving at that
specific time. Probably all the other friends will be there but
her, so when she comes you will all already have had fun
without her. Maybe (but just maybe), she'll see her coming
late sorta excludes her from the rest of the friends. So be it.
Maybe she'll change....maybe not. She's rediculous and I'm
surprised she has any friends left as not many would put up
with her rudeness.
2007-11-08 09:03:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find and spend time with better friends.. She's not being respectful of your time.. If you still insist on getting together then tell her an earlier time and show up an hour later or just not at all . I say turnabout is FAIR play... I have a friend thats habitually late or just doesn't keep plans so I rarely call her or have much to do with her.. My free time is precious and I don't want to spend it waiting for someone... Good luck
2007-11-07 18:36:54 · answer #4 · answered by pebblespro 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being late for an agreed upon activity is the ultimate in arrogance. It's like saying your time is less valuable than theirs. Most people I know who are chronically late, however, don't see it this way, and are mortified when confronted by their behavior.
Keeping it light (assuming you want to continue thi friendship), next time you and she make any plans, jokingly just say something like "is that real time or your time?" smile and tell her that you know she doesn't mean to, but you don't want to wait a couple of hours when you could be doing something else until she arrives - then say - 'just give me a realistic time frame'
2007-11-07 18:40:19 · answer #5 · answered by Can'tBYY 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The friendship was fast becoming a one sided one and although you both hang with the same crowd there is no reason you both can not be civil and polite to each other when you do have to be around each other.
I understand you enjoy spending time with her but you have to ask your self, at the cost of what. If she is really interested in reconciling she will come to you and try, but if she never calls you to hang again and keeps diverting to you "DITCHING HER" just let it go!!!
2007-11-08 09:02:58 · answer #6 · answered by Mari R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definately disrespectful. A couple of minutes is life, a couple of hours without a phone call or a major emergency is just plain rude. If it were me, I would set the time for her to come to my house. If she shows up too late, then just don't let her in.
2007-11-07 18:35:45 · answer #7 · answered by dlb_blair 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I find this very rude and disrespectful. I am a very punctual person, and I find myself very annoyed with people who do not respect my time. I think I'd find myself a new friend.
Does this friend have kids? If not, then she likely does not understand what it is like to have to get up early with small children.
2007-11-07 18:37:02 · answer #8 · answered by chutch1974 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds really rude.... I agree it's better to meet at your place, it must have been hideous to have been stood up in bars. You could tell her to meet you at a time 3 hours earlier than you want her? i'd also challenge her about her lateness and ask her why she does it and why she thinks it's ok.
2007-11-07 18:36:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how you can stand her. If she did that to me the first time, I would have struck her off my friends list. She has no respect for you, she doesn't like or love you. If she does, she wouldn't have treated you so shabbily. You have allowed her to walk all over you. It's time to take responsibility for what's happening to you. Time to say NO and time to say STOP.
2007-11-08 03:02:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋