Controlling girlfriend..?

Question

Well, its a long distance relationship, and I meet her pretty rarely (once every school holidays or so).. She gets jealous really easy and mad at me quite alot for stupid things, such as I was talking to her friend the other day, and she got mad. I think this is because she thinks I'll end up leaving her for someone else or something, . so a few days later she asked me to delete her friend from msn, which i did..

what do you think about this?

I love her alot, obviously, and I dont really want to leave her..

I have talked to her about it before, and she knows that she gets jealous/mad too easy, but she cant help it.

Of course I remind her that i love her all the time, and that i wouldnt leave her for anyone.. so im not exacltly sure what to do.

Me talking to her friend for longer than I talk to her wasnt what was happening, I talk to her for 5+ hours a day usually, on msn, ect

Answer 1

ya know, i wasnt going to answer this question, cause i dont feel i can word it correctly, UNTIL i saw all these people saying LEAVE ASAP.
these people have never obviously been in a serious long distance relationship. look, if u care enough about this girl to really give the long distance thing a shot - then u will work through this. i believe its the hardest thing a couple can do together and after overcoming it, youll be a million times stronger together.
of course this whole ordeal is hard for both of u, but as im sure u know GIRLS R EMOTIONAL. and sometimes the way that we deal with emotions is illogical and hurtful to ourselves and others. we can get so worked up and crazy missing our man, our minds develop these issues. - yes, it hurts ur relationship together and makes it harder for both of u. but odds are she doesnt even realize exactly what it is she doing. she may realize her behavior is destructive, but she may not truly see what this could do to ur relationship in the long run, by driving u away from her. also, about this friend, keep in mind - she knows her friend better than u do. and even though u have no intentions of cheating on ur lady - its the girl she doesnt trust.
of course the best way to fix this is to discuss it. CALMY. i know thats easier said than done, but in a long distance thing its so easy to get worked up about problems. after u discuss it, it wouldnt hurt to do a few sweet things to boost her self esteem and remind her why she loves u. - that AND like i said, sometimes our minds develop these stupid issues for us - and maybe a few little surprises could change the way those little issues are working in her head - not on purpose, but so many things are subconscience :)
i wish u the best of luck and i hope God blesses yalls relationship!

Answer 2

Since you two are in a long distance relationship and rarely see each other, it is normal for your girlfriend to react as such. I have seen alot of my friends in similar situations. She will get jealous and "controlling" because she fears that you will leave her becauce of your distance. She cares for you and has alot of feelings for you and does not want to loose you. So everytime she will look at another girl in your life whether she be your friend or no friend she will view them as potential threats to your relationship. The only way to calm her is for you to comfort her and let her know believe and understand the feelings you have for her. You need to assure her time and again that you will not leave her. This is hard and a little extra work but if you like her as much and dont want to break it off with her then you have too do this things, talk to her and tell her how you feel and think let her know that if she eventually wont change then THAT is the only reason you will break up, not because of some girl but because of her attitude.
All the Best.

Answer 3

If u really want to stay with her you need to basically tell her to calm the f* down because it's only weakening the relationship. For one, long distance relationships are really hard because you really have no idea what's going on with the other person when you're apart for long periods of time. Long-distance is truly the greatest test of trust in a relationship. Aside from the fact that she's insecure, which is harder to break, she needs to trust you. If she trusted you enough she wouldn't be worried about you talking to her friend. Of course if you're somewhere chatting or talking to her friend more than your actual girlfriend, that's a whole other problem. If you get into her perspective you would probably not like it if she was talking to one of your friends more than her, but that's only IF that was the case. If not, then she's definitely the problem and you need to tell her without attacking or victimizing yourself too much, since she's clearly sensitive.

Answer 4

Well there are alot of people out there like that, I have been in a relationship like yours and its unhealthy. It usually has to do with the person and your probably right shes feeling insecure she probably thinks your going to leave her for another "prettier" girl. I think you should talk to her about it ask her why she does it. Tell her your not going to leave her for any other people. Also ask her how she would feel if you started to control her and not let her talk to any of her other friends. Since its a long distance relationship she doesnt know what your doing all the time, i suggested you call her alot and convince her that your not doing anything wrong. GOODLUCK with the relationship i hope it works out.

Answer 5

I would drop her like a hot coal. The more time you are around her, the worse things will get! She should be on her best behavior when you are together and if this is her best, I'd hate to see how she will be when she is at her worst! Life is too short to waste time on a girl like that! You are only asking for a bunch of trouble if you continue in the relationship! While you are away, be free and unattached so you are open to meet someone who is much better suited for you! Dump her immediately!

Answer 6

She sounds very insecure. Because she is insecure, she wants to control who you are friends with because she feels threatened by her own friend.

If I were you, I would sit down and talk to her. Tell her that she has to trust you because you cannot handle someone who does not. She has no reasons to distrust you and just because you talk to other females, doesn't mean you are cheating on her. Remind her that you do not get angry if she talks to other guys.

If the talk doesn't straighten anything out, then my advice would be to end this relationship and move on with your life. Long distance relationships are hard enough to add jealousy to it. Best wishes to you.

Answer 7

if u really like her then just talk to her, if shes not such an important role in your life then leave her, but if she is important to u, u should talk to her and tell her if she trusts u then she wouldnt be worried about it. and that if u didnt like her dont u think u would be with her friend and not her?

Answer 8

I think she's a freak and you need to end communication. You're lucky she's far away so she won't come over and boil your rabbit. Seriously, you need to cut ties with people on the edge like this.

Find someone closer that does not want to put you on a leash...let this one be someone else's problem.

Again, count your blessings for living far away.

Answer 9

I married a guy like that, and if I had it to do all over - I wouldn't. Jealousy is an ugly, ugly thing. I stand up for myself, but others may not.

Answer 10

whats wrong with that she wants her man all to her self. it seems she does feel insecure but how wouldnt your so fare away. the only way to stop her jealousy is to eighther brake up with her or spend alot more time with her which ever one is more possible