We've been going out on AND off for 6 years now, and I've even tried moving 500 miles away to get over him, yet I found myself coming back home. He invited me to move in with him, and so I did, yet he still doesn't want to commit to a relationship. I've been meeting men here and there, and he gets furious at the fact that I have other men inquiring about my relationship status. I love him, but I can't keep going on with his uncertainty about being in a committed relationship with me. We're supposed to go to counseling, but he always has something that comes up. What do I do?? Do I keep on waiting, or shall I move out and meet new people?
2007-11-07 08:56:56 · 32 answers · asked by chase. w. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Please find a way to move on. It will always be some reason why he can't committ. The fact of the matter is that he loves you but he loves being free more and maybe this is a sign, stop asking him to committ. Let him ask you. Playing house is not real, there is no security. This is a game a lot of men play, it is nice to have someone at home to play house with but the fact is that it is even more fun to be single. If he is serious about you he would not want you to live a lie. Love you and everything good for you will come to you. Let him know you don't mind dating him but would like to keep your options open. No one needs couseling to commit, that is just a stall tactic.
2007-11-07 09:16:47 · answer #1 · answered by Lenab 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is furious that other MEN are asking about your relationship status? How can you even answer them when YOU don't know the status of your relationship?
You've been "going out" for six years, and he doesn't want to commit. Guess what. He's not going to. Ever. Right now what he knows is that you will always come back to him, so he can do whatever he wants. He's got it good. He doesn't care that you're unhappy and he never will.
You need to ask yourself what you really want. Do you love this guy enough to stay in this limbo state for the rest of your life? Because that's looking like a real possibility if you stick with it. If not, then you need to cut ties. If you decide to move on, then move out, get a new phone number, get a new email address and get yourself a good support system of friends and family to help you. Do not contact him, and tell him not to contact you. Go ahead and do counseling but do it solo. Don't "meet new people" if by that you mean men - you've been with this guy for a while, you need some time to recover and get over it for good.
Best of luck.
2007-11-07 09:04:59 · answer #2 · answered by Elizabeth 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If six years haven't been enough time for him to commit then I'm afraid he will never commit. How much longer does he need...5 more years, 10, 20.....its not fair to you. He cant even commit to going to a simple meeting. You love him, but if he loves you, he should understand what he is doing is not fair. You have already done so much, and you'll never sit and wonder what if. And if you already began meeting new men, then you are ready to move on. My suggestion would be not to keep waiting. But in the end you'll just do what you feel is best for you.
2007-11-07 09:10:07 · answer #3 · answered by chel 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Move out. He is not uncertain about being in a committed relationship....he is very certain that you are not the one he wants to be committed to. After six years, if he does not want to "commit", he never will. Counseling won't help. Please understand. He does not love you. You can't make someone love you, not with all the counseling in the world. Doesn't make him a bad guy, just not the guy for you. Move out. And move on.
2007-11-07 09:03:28 · answer #4 · answered by claudiacake 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Move on. He is not interested in having any type of relationship with "strings."Don't know why some people are like this. If you go and don't look back you can find someone ready to share the rest of their life with you. Legally. Why go to counseling if you are not even married? The way it is now, he won't feel guilty if he meets someone else and wants to go.He always has his options open for "something better."
2007-11-07 09:05:41 · answer #5 · answered by Ava 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would move on and meet new people. Stop waiting for rain in a drought you know. You lucky to find this out now, instead of being stuck in a relationship you can't get out of. Good luck
2007-11-07 09:00:57 · answer #6 · answered by ?? yaddajean ?? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move out and meet other people who actually have time for you and care about what matters to you in a relationship.
2007-11-07 09:11:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never go further in life if you want to has long has you keep him around. But it sounds like you really care for him or would not have came back. So a question back to you is What do you want. He has already answered for him self. He wants his cake and eat it too. You can only have the cherry on top. Good Luck
2007-11-07 09:03:19 · answer #8 · answered by angelia06 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He can't have his cake and eat it too. If the timing is not right, then it might never be right. When you say committed, I guess you mean married somewhere in the near future. It depends how old you guys are, but if you are in your mid to latter 20's, I would ask him where do you see this relationship in the next five years. If he can't answer it might be best to move on.
2007-11-07 09:04:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You don't sound happy. Strive to have happiness in your life. Are you tired of him? Are you at the point where you are fed up? Do you want to be strung along for another 6 years? Is being with him helping you or taring you down? Ask yourself these questions and answer truthfully and you should know what to do. Why commit to non-commitment? You deserve the best, don't sale yourself short!
2007-11-07 09:07:43 · answer #10 · answered by big Sco 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋