For people who lost their loved ones, did you kind of let yourself go when ur loved one passed away?

Question

How long did it take for you to get it back together? how do you feel now?

Answer 1

I understand your question in that exercise,healthy lifestyle and all that seem to fall by the wayside when something important occurs.
Losing someone is a massive thing and grief affects people in many different ways.. some people Seem to cope better than others, although you can never know how someone is feeling inside.

Grief can cause depression, it is itself similar to depression, it causes your motivation etc to diminish.

Grieving is healthy ,its a typical response to losing a person, however after a while it may be time for a person to take control of their life again.
This wont be easy, but you must remember the person you're grieving wouldnt want to see you in a mess either.

To motivate yourself after losing motivation you have to force yourself to get out and do it.You have to create motivation it wont just appear.The longer you leave it the harder it gets but its never to late.

Same with letting yourself go this is cos of pain and sorrow.Although getting up and getting back to your normal routine wont change things or make you forget anything-and you wouldnt want to forget, it will give you some routine back in your life which will make you feel a bit better, or at least distract you at first.

Personally I get depressed sometimes and lose motivation etc but I find when I fight to get it back it comes back sooner rather than later.
Same when my gran died recently, it was a struggle to do things but I made myself,I had to.Its life Im afraid

Good luck
Paul

Answer 2

When my best friend was murdered, (and I loved her dearly), I dropped out of all but two of my college courses and pretty much fell apart for three months. (The two I kept were a PE course that had me exercising with machines a few days a week and a computer course that I could just do in the computer lab with no interaction.) It took me another two years to really come to terms with her death, although you never really get "over" it. I still miss her, and I still mourn her sometimes. There's a good book I read when she died, (15 years ago, so you might have to hunt for it) called "How to Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies". It was very informative about grief, grieving, and what's "normal". I wish you well, if this is what you're going through now, and I encourage you to let yourself grieve as long as you need to. Try to take care of yourself too, and know that eventually you will find a peace, although the pain never goes away entirely.

Answer 3

Absolutely. Six months. Nothing felt right. I just went to work and went home. Also, I didn't drink any alcohol for those six months because I did not want to start a habit.

Then one of my friends called and said a band was playing at our favorite pub and would I like to come along.

Had a great time. Two pints, three music sets and then hit the road. Slept eight hours and then woke up feeling fine. It was like a switch had been flipped. Then I started cleaning the apartment, catching up on laundry and doing all the things that were routine again.

All the best.....Finn.

Answer 4

define what you recommend? What do you recommend "can"? Happiness without unhappiness? unhappiness isn't a conditioned required to be happy. We get unhappy whilst our needs are unfulfilled, or there's a biochemical imbalance interior the techniques. If specific circumstances have been met, we could be happy one hundred% of the time. you will die early, and you will to enable flow of a few needs including buddies, family contributors, boyfriend and so on... yet here is how. You snicker cocaine and/shoot heroin each time you experience unhappy. That way, you will not experience unhappy. confident it somewhat is "destroy" your life, and decrease it short... inspite of the undeniable fact that it refutes the argument.... No, you do not could be unhappy EVER to be happy. some human beings say the severe from cocaine isn't real happiness... Whoever says which could think of happiness is a few magical organic stuff created by potential of angels or something. of course there can ne peace devoid of conflict. a million. end having little ones until eventually we are saying for specific that bringing a toddler in won't enhance the possibility of poverty, crime, or conflict. 2. declare the worlds supplies because of the fact the traditional history of each and every of the worlds human beings. "in case you have been happy constantly, then it does not be happiness, it would substitute right into a commonly used emotion." Do you not see your contradiction? and what's a commonly used emotion?

Answer 5

No. I did refuse to answer the phone or doorbell for ages. Had a job at the time, and that helped by making me go out and talk to people. Years later I still feel sad when I remember, but can also think about the good times too.

Answer 6

I lost my Sister 3 years ago and my Mother 2 months ago.

There is no time limit or simple answer to your question.

Yes we do let ourselves go to some extent, but the way we continue to live tends to be a reflection of how well we were loved by those we have lost.

My Sister and Mum both took some pride in me, I can wallow in my sorrow, but their pride is what I remember most, and it is what I will always carry with me by maintaining myself in the way they would want.

I have no idea if this is the same as anyone else, but this is how I feel right now.

Your question leads me to assume you have lost someone. I wish you well.

Answer 7

Its always hard when a loved one passes away and we all deal with things differently. It not only depends on the person but also on your personal situation. Do you have kids that you need to be strong for? I know that when my family lost my Grandmother, then my uncle and then my grandfather all within a bout 1 1/2 years it was very hard on me. I dont know my dad or my dads side of the family so my moms side was all I ever had. We had a small but very close knit family so it impacted us all heavily. I know that for my mom to lose her mom, youngest brother and dad it had to be horrible...but she held it all together for the sake of being the rock for the rest of the family. I know she still grieves over it, but she didnt let it take over her life. As for myself I was very sad, and let myself feel the loss....but like my mom it didnt consume me. I still think of them all everyday, and miss them constantly...more than ever when my son was born! But I know they are all here with me still and I keep that in my heart. I think it is healthy to cry and let yourself hurt....its the first step to healing...but I think letting the loss overtake you is unhealthy and a hard, long, dark hole to try and crawl out of!!! Just hold onto the memories and keep the person close in your heart..but remember that life is short and you need to continue living because that is what your loved one would want you to do!!!

Answer 8

I spent a long time looking at other people and wondering what they had to be so happy about. My world was in darkness and their lights were too bright. You never know what the person in front of you in the queue is suffering, feeling or facing. It took five seasons to come to terms with it, until I was able to talk about my mum. I always thought I new what to say to bereaved people, but once I was that person, words meant nothing to me. We all have to face sadness at some time in our lives. Mum always said ' one out, one in' Find someone who has just had a baby and celebrate rebirth!
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Answer 9

honestly when my grandma passed away this summer - I felt this huge void inside me and also, this year has been a personal challenge for me because also, my mom has been diagnosed with cancer (early stages of breast cancer), fought with 2 close friends (for stupid reasons) and a relationship that didnt worked out.

The painful time I spent is with God. I pray for guidance and for spiritual healing... And I also, went through a support group dealing with these things. I find its also good to talk to people when you are dealing with your problems - is to open up... It's never a good idea to hide or try to repress your emotions.

Answer 10

I lost my daughter in 2000 it's been very hard>No i didn't let myself go as she wouldn't of want me to> So keep your spirits up go on with your life and you will not forget them>It's just getting to the point of being able to talk about it>Best of luck & sorry about your loss>