Should I even try to work on it?

Question

I have been with someone for 2 years and things have got a lot out of hand. The little stuff is just to much to handle. He is the one that screwed up and I'm the one that is trying to fix it. Now he is trying to make it seem like he doesn't care about us anymore. He says that if I want to be with him I have to prove to him. So should I even try? Why is he trying to flip the stroy now when he should be showing me. Do I try anymore or do I let him go?

Answer 1

When someone screws up, they have a tendency to try to turn it around on the other person to try to take the focus off of them and what they have done. The easiest way to know if you want to work on it, is look at it like this: What you have with him now can have a possibility of getting worse if you get married. If you really want to marry this guy and you will be able to handle what hand is dealt, sometime it is worth working on. Relationships are more like a job, you just don't get paid for them. GOOD LUCK!!!!

dd

Answer 2

LET HIM GO!! You deserve someone better than him. Being with him for 2 years and still if ur not happy, then you should let him go. I know its hard and you want to try again and hope that things will work out, but for how long? It took me a long time to get this, but if ur willing to give ur all to someone, yet they just dont feel the same, then your better off without the them. why waste ur love on someone who doesnt appreciate it?? let him go until you meet someone where you wont even have to try. Best of luck! xx

Answer 3

he will do what you want if you are willing to do what is necessary. tell him that until he really straightens up that you are out of the picture and will soon begin dating again. and do not relent for a pretty long time -- and only reconsider if he really seems to have learned his lesson. if that doesn't work, what have you lost? you will be several steps ahead and without the problem. maybe a new problem, but not the old problem. if this tactic works, still be wary for a long time. never let him get back to treating you poorly. life is too damn short girl. be prepared to say goodbye for good at all times. be strong and resolute.

Answer 4

It seems he's turning it all around because he's on the defense. If he truely wanted to be with you then he'd make it known either through his words or actions. That doesn't seem to be the case.
I'd take a break from him, tell him you need some time away from him to sort out your own feelings. He'll either fight like mad to keep you or let you go.
Either way at least you'll know where his heart truely lies.
Good luck.

Answer 5

If you're in love with him, you're going to have to work on things WITH him. He needs to be willing to work on this too... if he's telling you that it's all on you, that's screwed up and that needs to be addressed. Sit down with him and see what he honestly thinks about the relationship. If he really seems sincere and wants it to work out, come to an agreement and work on it. I'm not sure what was done or said to make the relationship get to this point, but I am 100% that it takes TWO to repair a relationship. It's never going to work if it's all on you. If you really don't see a future with this guy and aren't really "in love" with him, I wouldn't bother. I'd get out now before things get too serious.

Answer 6

Sounds like it may be time to let go. Maybe that will wake him up...if he truly wants to continue a relationship with you...otherwise, his lack of trying may just be an easy way out for him...so he puts the blame on you to make it look like he wasn't the one that gave up! You have to do some soul searching and really decided if this is worth continuing to fight for.

Answer 7

Love is patient, love is kind, love is forgiving, and certainly not one that needs proving. It sounds to me that the both of you have issues, your being, if he has done you wrong and you have forgiven him, and chose to remain in the relationship; then do not bring up the his past mistakes and failure in the relationship. And if he, has decided to continue in the relationship, after straying (for a lack of better terms), then he needs to win that trust back from you. And to that it needs to be earned not given. Ask yourself, have you truly forgiven and forgotten, and has he earned your trust back? If you can open and honestly answer yes to both questions, then the relationship may be worth saving, and counseling may in order if it a serious relationship on the road to marriage. However, if you can answer no to the above questions, then do yourself and he a favor and love enough to let it go. Love you first.

Answer 8

If you let him manipulate you now than it will always be like that. Get out of the relationship if he doesn't care enough to try to make things work especially if he is the one that messed up in the first place.

Answer 9

let him go, you are right he is trying to flip the script. you don't need to prove anything, you already did by taking him back and trying to deal with the things that went wrong.ditch him, act like you could care less if he was out of your life.

Answer 10

If he is just bringing you down then you shouldn't try anymore. It's not like giving up, it's helping yourself, you can't let him keep brining you down, in the end it will hurt you more then it will hurt you. Trust me, one of my friends just went threw this, they broke up in the end, and she's way happier now because she isn't trying to fix every little problem that he brought up.

xoxo,
DayDreamer912008