Last year I contacted the birth father I had never met. I also found out I have a 1/2 sister, and I am afraid?

Question

to try to find her for reasons I can't begin to explain. Any advice?

I am in Las Vegas, my Father is in Michigan, and my sister is in Tennessee. I will be in Green Bay from the 9th to the 12th of this month; that is why I am asking this now.

Thanks BabyBlue and Dizmamiizfresh! you gave HEART w/ your answers!

You too, Sage! You are 1 of my best answerers even when I forget to choose a best!

Answer 1

Hello LC! My advice is to go over the conversation in your mind that you had with your father. If it was warm and welcoming, by all means, see him while you are there. At the very least call and tell him you'll in be in town for a few days. See what his reaction to that is. Meet in a public place, like a restaurant, and simply remain open to all the possibilities and feelings both of you are going to feel.

I gave my daughter up for adoption in 1967 and we met in 2003 at her request. Today, we no longer speak because she cannot forgive me for giving her up. There are no other siblings involved. Back in 1967 there were no legal abortions and the stigma of having a child born out of wedlock was tremendous. I knew I wouldn't marry and felt she would have a much better chance with two parents than with one. I was 19 when I became pregnant and 20 when I had her.

This meeting will bing up many emotional things for both of you so try and prepare yourself as best you can for any eventual outcome. In my case, Debra and I spent almost 3 years together, visiting with one another, my staying overnight at least 3-5 nights a week and just having fun as a family unit. Her adoptive mom is a wonderful woman and we get along very well. Unfortunately her adoptive father died several years ago.

Meeting you half sister will be an event as well and hopefully a good one! You never know about these things. Just try and be open and honest and allow whatever is going to happen...to happen. Try not to expect too much from either your dad or half sister...or yourself for that matter. You may or may not understand why he left your mom and why he never looked for you. If you truly need to talk about this let me know and we can talk! Good luck LC!

Answer 2

It's very frightening to face a person you are curious about meeting and even want to meet, but are deathly afraid will not want anything to do with you and THAT will wound you deeply. Why on earth WOULDN'T you be afraid of that kind of possible painful rejection. We all would. But if you don't connect, you'll always wonder about this sister and how it might have been. She might be wondering about you too. The only way to address this hole in your soul is to confront the giant within and cull it down to size. She is a part of your relationships (though you don't even know her yet) and a missing part of your identity and history. One way or the other, take courage in hand, and launch out into the unknown and at least kill THAT giant, the one that's clouded in mystery and put an end to the guesswork. After that, you cope with what's presented to you. And besides, you stand a 50-50 chance of 'gaining' a sister for life, one that perhaps needs to re-connect to you as bad you do her.

Answer 3

I think it's perfectly natural to feel hesitant and nervous to approach this situation. You risk being rejected and even though she's a total stranger to you, I'm sure it would still hurt. A meeting between the 2 of you would have to be mutually agreed upon. You obviously shouldn't just spring this news on her and say "here I am!" :) Don't be offended if it takes time for her to come around to wanting a r'ship with you. You need to go forward fully realizing that she is a STRANGER to you. She wasn't raised the same as you and for all you know, she could be the type to try and take advantage of you for money or something. I know that sounds horrible, but I'm just trying to get you to be realistic about your expectations. I would contact her via email. Introduce yourself and ask if she would be interested in meeting or at least talking online so you can get to know each other. That puts the ball in her court. Then, just wait and see what happens. Don't rush it.

Answer 4

Meet the dad first and if that goes well, move on to the sister. I finally met my dad when I was 19. My sister is the one who found him but he and I have a better relationship. The worst that could happen is he will turn you away. I hope that doesn't happen but at least then you will know and won't be left wondering your entire life.

Answer 5

This is a tough one indeed all things considered. You will have to search your heart and determine which is the lesser of two evils, make up your mind and stick to your decision. Once it is made don't look back....follow through outcome be what it may. Good Luck.....

Answer 6

I can't tell you what you should do, and its hard to say because im not in your position, but i say go with your heart and do what you think is right, ill Pray for you where you are weak, and hope everything Goes ok dont ever be afraid to do something stand up for what you beleive in.....good lUck

Answer 7

make him meet u dint go meet him investigate a little see how much hart he has in him! and the sister be care full most people dint like there 1/2 sisters well u know from what i seen in movies and all!

Answer 8

i just say find her & dont expect anything. it may turn out wonderfully but then again you will both proabally be nervous so dont be disapointed if it isnt WOW or anything.
be preparded and just accept who she is & keep in touch if yall are both interested she could become your new best friend, who knows?
im not tryin to make you more nervous or anything im just teling you to be prepared! good luck!

Answer 9

Go and find her and tell her the truth, tell her that your her half sister! don't be afraid of what might happen! it'll proubly be all ok in the end! and also your life is very exciting!

Answer 10

I would call her, let her decide. You should go see your father, there is a lot you need to get straight.