I got married in september. My maid of honour was less than helpfull during the planning but we had fun anyway. She never showed up as promised to my gift opening thus never gave me a present. Not even a card. I have seen her twice since my honeymoon but she has made no mention of a gift - but she has talked about how much she indulged in the open bar etc... I do not know how to mention that I feel a little sad that she has not even given us a card.
One more thing that I am upset about is that she had previously alluded to a breadmaker. Our Emcee had purchased one for us long before the big day but returned it when he saw that it had been duplicated on the registry. He spent the day before our wedding searching for another gift - we really love to make bread and he is a pretty thoughtful guy. We have not received a breadmaker and wonder why my MOH is doing this?
what should I do?
2007-11-07 07:36:37 · 16 answers · asked by little l 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I paid for her hair, dress etc. I felt that it was not fiar to drain a friend's bank account for my big day
2007-11-07 08:06:32 · update #1
Why not just go buy your own breadmaker? Then when she comes to visit ask her if she would like some bread that you made in your breadmaker that you bought.
2007-11-08 02:11:11 · answer #1 · answered by Leather and Lace 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the deal, you can never ask for a present. But, you can, as a friend (and especially as she was your maid of honor) the next time you spend time with her talk about how much work there is in sending out thank you notes for the gifts and that you're worried that you've misplaced some of the cards and might neglect to thank someone. and as an aside to her say "in fact, I'm so embarassed that I've lost your card and am not even sure what you gave us, I know it was a hectic day, but that's no excuse. I'm really sorry" and then she will either confess that she didn't remember to bring a gift, or whatever the case may be, but you'll know from her response what happened.
2007-11-07 07:54:15 · answer #2 · answered by Can'tBYY 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Buy yourself a breadmaker, and dont send her any Xmas or birthday gifts.
When she asks why you're not giving her anything, just explain to her that when she put her name down on the gifts registry to buy something, she was expected to buy it and pass it to the couple. She never did.
If she doesn't complain, then she's either totally unaware of making a huge social gaffe, or she knows she is guilty and wont face up to it.
2007-11-07 07:48:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would really let this situation go.. Maybe the MOH didn't have the funds to purchase a gift for you and your new husband due to her having to spend money on a dress, hair,nails etc.. That stuff can be pretty pricey. So, just drop it and not obsess about it get yourself a bread maker that you want and make her a loaf of bread... Good luck
2007-11-07 07:49:28 · answer #4 · answered by pebblespro 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Chalk it up to you're never seeing a gift out of this girl. She's clearly not that great of a friend. You need to not make such a big deal about it. Yeah, it's hurtful she couldn't even give you a card and it sucks that she used you for the open bar. You need to move on and just go and get yourself the best bread maker you can afford - you'll feel better, trust me!
2007-11-07 07:49:09 · answer #5 · answered by Empress1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let it go. You are more fortunate than a lot of brides if the only thing that went wrong was you didn't get a bread maker. You have your health and your wonderful groom to be thankful for. Making bread the old fashioned way is a lot more rewarding than throwing stuff into a bread maker anyways. My kids love pounding a big ball of bread dough into oblivion and it gets their frustrations out on the bread instead of each other.
2007-11-07 07:45:47 · answer #6 · answered by MJ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's unfortunate - however, no matter what the situation is, it is not polite to ask if someone has got you a gift or to demand someone give you a gift. If she has a gift for you lying around her house - chances are she knows about it. If she didn't get you a gift, chances are she'll just get defensive about it and say you're rude for bringing it up. I think you should just let it go.
2007-11-07 11:34:51 · answer #7 · answered by Evieve 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Makes me wonder why you asked this person to be your MOH. Seems to me you don't really know her that well or she would have given an explanation, ie she had no money, or you would have felt safe enough in your friendship to ask her. Or would have known her well enough to know that she is stingy with money. whatever the reason I think you should forget it now, concentrate on enjoying your new life, cool the friendship a little, buy yourself a breadmaker. Good luck in your marriage x.
2007-11-07 07:57:25 · answer #8 · answered by Willow 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't ask her about the gift. It appears from your description she didn't get you anything. She may think that her participation in your wedding (buying the dress, etc). was her gift to you.
So, I say give it up and don't ask.
I hesitate to comment on the friendship, since I don't know much about her or you. But, I would say she hasn't been much of a friend. Write it off and be happy with the gifts you received.
2007-11-07 08:04:04 · answer #9 · answered by Lizzie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Did you pay for the BM dresses or did your attendants pay for their own expenses?
If they paid, maybe she feels that was gift enough. If she was already out $300 (for a dress, shoes, throwing you a shower, etc.), why spend $50 more on a gift for you?
It's sounds as though people have to BUY your friendship.
Boohoo, mommy, my friend didn't get me a gift, so she must be a bad person. Just let it go. Buy a bread machine yourself if you want it that bad.
Let it go.
2007-11-07 07:52:06 · answer #10 · answered by sugar sweet 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋