I am 26yrs old, female, and have slept with 8 guys since I started to have sex at 16. Half of the guys were long term relationships.
I have never been able to have an orgasm during sex, which I know is a common problem for females. One time I almost did, but nope! lol. My gyno once told me it was the guys I slept with and their lack of experience, but I have slept with a range of ages up to 33.
So my question is, how should I deal with this when a guy asks me if I came? I always am honest and just tell them I never have from sex, but then I notice some guys feel bad about it. Almost like they don't want to sleep with me because I can't and they feel like it's their performance that is the problem. I can assure them when it isn't, but it's just annoying because I wish I could orgasm during sex. Yes, I have tried pleasuring myself during sex, and one guy tried too, but no luck.
But what is the best way to handle when I don't come, because I have never faked it and never will?
2007-11-07 06:02:57 · 15 answers · asked by Ambi 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just so everyone knows, I have had one from oral and from doing things myself, just not sex itself. And currently I am not in a relationship or sleeping with anyone, but just for future reference I wanted to ask. Thanks!
2007-11-07 06:17:07 · update #1
Be HONEST......
Insisit on a LOT of foreplay..before penetration......
get yourself you have the pleasure of the orgasm during the forplay...(with his help )..
and then start all over....getting self near another climax stage before he is allowed to penetrate.
And make him work to PLEASE YOU, not just get his nut.
If you make him work for your pleasure, and you relax and enjoy, you will have even multiple orgasms during the sex part.
Good Luck
2007-11-07 06:11:27 · answer #1 · answered by Rudy J 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would always be honest. You should also consider that you might have some issues which may be inhibiting you. A gynocologist isn't the best to answer that, a psycologist or sex therapist is.
It's possible all the guys have been with are just inexperienced, but the fact you've never achieved a self-induced orgasm makes me question that.
One last thing, make sure there is at least 15 minutes of foreplay prior to sex. Wait until you are *very* aroused before starting. They say a guy is ready in 3 minutes and it takes a woman 15, typically.
2007-11-07 06:08:40 · answer #2 · answered by Radagast97 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can help the guy in making you get an orgasm... a lot of that has to do with the mind I mean if you are having sex and you are thinking- wow this guy is a punk and I barely even feel anything- or -damn this guy is huge and it hurts a lot... ahahaha! Anyways I think people are thinking the most dirtiest thought when they want to have an orgasm.
2007-11-07 06:11:34 · answer #3 · answered by Eric H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
to be honest, having an orgasm and 'coming' aren't always hand in hand.
But, i have too encountered the same problems.. In fact, for a looong time I'd never experienced one and didn't realize it until I actually had one!
Although sex can still be enjoyable without a full-blown orgasm, maybe suggest oral-sex, it always works better for me!
Good luck and thanks for asking, that can be an uncomfortable topic for some.
2007-11-07 06:09:09 · answer #4 · answered by .sincerious. 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The most delicate item in the known universe is the male ego. And guys need to know that they are King Kong. If the girl didn´t get off then he just isn´t man enough. I used to say that women who don´t get off is because of clumsy or ego maniacal males, but then I dated a lady that just didn´t. It had nothing to do with me and over 2 years she got off, with me, maybe twice. Some guys can handle it, some can´t.
2007-11-07 06:29:16 · answer #5 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know women who've been lying for years. They seem fine with this, though nothing changes and they never orgasm with their mates. They have other outlets.
I have a rule: no faking--ever. If you do, it's a showstopper. Your gyno is right, age 33 doesn't mean experience. Find someone who is good with their f*ngers and t*ngue. Life's too short.
2007-11-07 06:09:47 · answer #6 · answered by Level 7 is Best 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree.Be honest,if it hurts there feelings then maybe they will work harder next time.Do you orgasm from oral? Alone? I hope you meet a guy that can help you and you reach orgasm together.Maybe that will be true love!?
2007-11-07 06:11:37 · answer #7 · answered by notagain49 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
youre good to not fake it and youre good to be honest about it. i would be glad to devote as many hours as needed to pleasuring you but we will never meet so, so what. im sure one day, at some point, youll find someone who can satisfy you. until then dont become a faker or a liar. good luck mama :)
2007-11-07 06:11:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the guy cares about you, honesty is the best policy. And if you're intimate with him, I assume you believe he does. So yes.
Good luck.
2007-11-07 06:06:43 · answer #9 · answered by American citizen and taxpayer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you need them to do more foreplay with you yea be honest lying is never good maybe you should practice with yourself and some toys to help rev up your motor so to speak good luck
2007-11-07 06:07:50 · answer #10 · answered by ken j 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋