Catholics?

Question

My dads only sibling, my uncle, is a catholic priest. My brothers and I were raised in the catholic church and attended catholic school. My parents divorced in 1980 at which point we went to public school and no church at all. I've struggled in this life; divorces, one child (now 19), suicide attempt, depression, and so on (although no drug or alcohol abuse).
I'm 40 now and want my church back but not only has the church excommunicated me (because of divorce) but my uncle couldn't care less what I do. Catholocism is all I know.
I do not understand why Catholics are so judgemental. Aren't we all sinners? What? Are my sins worse than theirs? It appears that catholics kick you when you're down, take your God from you when you need him the most. I don't get it.

Answer 1

You are not excommunicated from the church because of your divorce, you may need an annulment, but that's all.

I am Roman Catholic and I had lost my path in life too at one point, it seemed all I did was sin, sin, and more sin, even now I sin even if I don’t mean to.

I am sorry you have encountered some harsh Catholics on this site. I am not one of those.

Jesus turned my life around too and every single day he tries to draw me even closer. It is a gradual possess and the feelings of you wanting to go back to church is him calling you to his altar, he chose you, not the other way around. He looks for all of his lost sheep and gathers them up.

You have made mistakes, I have made mistakes, everyone has. This does not make you any less worthy of his love and compassion, after all that’s what he’s all about.

He came here for us sinners and those sheep that belong to him. What is his will never be taken away from him because God is the owner of your soul. All he wants is for you to come back to him, don’t be afraid of the Church because of what people say on here.

Be strong, have faith and listen to his call when he calls. Go back to church, go back to the one who loves you the most. He loves you and wants you to return to him, he misses you too.

Answer 2

First off, I am sorry that you have had such a rough go at things.

Divorce does not excommunicate you from the Catholic Church. If you are living as a single person now, your divorces do not prevent you from full communion. All you need to do is meet with a priest to see about making a profession of faith (which may or may not require you getting some instruction first), and receiving the sacrament of Reconciliation (confession) and possibly Confirmation (if you didn't make it already).

If you are not a single person, then you must have your previous marriages annulled because the Church will not recognize a civil divorce. However, if you as a Catholic (baptized, anyway) married outside the Church without dispensation or in a civil ceremony, a degree of nullity will be easy to get based on "lack of canonical form." You file some paperwork, pay around $200 for the processing fee, and you'll get it. Then you can have your current marriage "blessed" and all will be well. Of course, you'd still have to go to confession and make a profession of faith.

I cannot speak for your uncle, but one must consider the fact that priests aren't perfect. They are human and they have human limitations. Maybe when you do return to the Church, he will respond differently to you.

For the record, yes, we are all sinners, no your sins are no worse than mine (mine are probably worse than yours, really), and nobody is capable of keeping God away from you.

May God bless you on your journey.

Answer 3

Excommunicated? The Church doesn't excommunicated its members for divorce. Who told you this? Your uncle is a hypocrite and not a good priest. Not all Catholics are the same, there is good and bad everywhere. They can't take God away from you, he is always there with you. God doesn't belong to a church or religion. He is for everybody. You can go and talk to a priest at the closest Catholic church near you. I'm sure they will be supportive, you can take classes and attend Mass. Don't worry, there are many parishes that will love to help you get back to the church. I don't know if I'm qualify to answer this question since I'm a former Catholic but I have no ill will against the Church. If you need to be in the Church, then go. They are going to take you back in.

Answer 4

Well they definitely don't support you when you're doing the wrong thing. And they have rules? Isn't that why you want to be a Catholic in the first place? Can't have your cake and eat it too, sister.

1 Corinthians 5: 9-11 (New International Version)


9I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

12What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you."


So they're not totally unjustified. We're not supposed to judge people outside. But inside sometimes if someone doesn't turn from a wicked way, that's how excommunication comes about.

And if you are indeed a Catholic then you would know that Catholics do place different earthly weights on different sins. Some sins are "mortal sins" and others are less than that, though I forget the terms.

I'm sure there are ways around excommunication. Were I you, I'd contact my local parish or Arch Diocese. You'll be fine. It's also worth mentioning that even if you are excommunicated, you may still attend mass. And why not pray about it?

Good luck.

Answer 5

I am/was a Catholic and they can be judgmental. Probably not any worse that most other religions. Your uncle must be rather strict. There are priest that understand the reality of faith and religion. My brother was married in the church, got divorced twice and married again. But he got an annulment of the first marriage, got the third marriage blessed in the church. He is now a Knights of Columbus grand knight. Real leaders of the church understand the reality of faith. Please find one that does. If you want to read novels by a priest that really gets it - read Andrew Greeley. He does have a website and will respond to e-mails. Ask him where to go and what to do. They have Confession for a reason. Please be patient if that is what you want. You will find peace. That is my hope.

Answer 6

come back. No one is stoping you. My mother wanted to become catholic when us kids were tiny, but because the priest was rude, she never went back. If I'd a been older I'd a told her, dont let that grouch stop you. Now I am a catholic convert, and I listen to EWTN all the time, people wanting to come back to the catholic church but afraid of their sins etc.Did you ger re married? Or are you single? divorse is not a sin in the catholic church. Only re marrying is. You may have to seek an annulment from your first marriage, which you probably have grounds for, because it does not sound as tho your husband and maybe you too, had a true understanding of commitment at the time you said your vows.
Jesus would want you back, come as you are. I never heard of being ex cummunicated for being divorced. I got divorced too but was not ex communicated, I never re married, even tho my marriage was found null and void by the annulment process. yes catholics are sinners like the rest of humanity, your sins are no worse, you just met with a crab apple or something. Come back to church, talk to the priest, go to confession, see if you cannot start receiving holy communion once again. If you are re married, you will need to ask for annulment, were you married in the church? There is NOTHING that cannot be reconcilled to the Lord, go today and come back to Jesus.

Answer 7

I'm a Catholic and I never ever heard of anybody being excommunicated because of a divorce. Really. And I'm divorced myself. I'm sorry, but are you sure you're serious?

EDIT: One thumbs down, yeah, yeah... But I'm sticking to my question: is she for real? People don't get excommunicated like that, you know. And only the Vatican can excommunicate, you know. As for some of the fears that I've seen here, it's true that you can't marry again by the church if you're divorced but you can still marry and nobody will excommunicate you or tell you to go away, ok? See? This is the kind of insidious thing that gives the church a bad name because so many Americans haven't got the slightest idea abouth Catholicism. It just does not seem real and I'm not joking.

Answer 8

Yes, I am a training Catholic. I do suppose unhealthy whilst, at Christmas and Easter, all the ones "two times a yr" Catholics pop out - however then I become aware of that it would be worse. It would very good be viable they do not pop out in any respect. It's handy for any individual, who attends Church each week, to visit Mass on Christmas, Easter, and Holy Days of Obligation. I more commonly marvel simply how a lot more elaborate it's for individuals, who do not attend Mass probably, to get out and cross to Mass a couple of time according to yr. We are not able to think it, since we all know what we would be lacking. I do not suppose those "two times a yr" forms can thoroughly recognize what it's they are lacking. If they did, they might be at Mass greater than two times a yr. I am proud to be Catholic, so it is the entire extra disappointing whilst I see individuals taking an "oh hum: perspective closer to their vocation as lay Catholics. All we will rather do approximately it's pray, and desire that they instance we set will, in the future, encourage them to begin dwelling the Catholic tradition all yr circular.

Answer 9

you have been fed a line of you know what. You are not excommunicated because you divorced unless you remarried outside of the Church. If you are single you must only go to confession and go back to the Sacraments. It is not the divorce that is the problem, it is when people remarry outside of the Church. You could even remarry if you had the first marriage annulled.

If all you know is Catholicism, you didn't know much about it, that's for sure.

Answer 10

You are mistaken about the excommunication. You took yourself away from the Sacraments and cannot now receive Holy Communion, but you are not excommunicated. You should talk to a priest face to face. Unless you are still living in an unvalid marriage, you can probably go to Confession and then receive Communion. Not knowing all the circumstances, I can't be sure of this, but a priest can give you the answer in a heartbeat. Come home!

Jim Dandy