2007-11-07 04:45:45 · 23 answers · asked by Vwgirl18 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
News for you boys....IT DOESN'T.
2007-11-07 04:49:09 · update #1
How about stop doing jerky things and he won't have to worry about making it up to me!
Food was good though, lol.
2007-11-07 04:55:00 · update #2
I did appreciate it, it was a nice gesture. But I'd rather him stop doing the things he knows are mean instead of thinking he can treat me any way he wants and then buy my forgiveness. I am not for sale.
2007-11-07 04:58:33 · update #3
Sounds like most of you have your panties in a wad. Maybe you should be buying me flowers and dinner too..JERKS!
2007-11-07 05:00:44 · update #4
Sounds like most of you have your panties in a wad. Maybe you should be buying me flowers and dinner too..JERKS!
2007-11-07 05:00:53 · update #5
RIP T : For someone who says they are "not crude" you sure are nasty. You just proved yourself to be a liar. Oh and I am pretty sure 120 pounds at 5'8" is not fat.
2007-11-07 05:05:24 · update #6
Because we can.
2007-11-07 04:48:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Because it's become a societial thing. I think ppl learned it from moves and TV. I don't care much for flowers, but I have to admit being taken out and treated to dinner usually puts me in a good mood. So there is some truth to it.
To RIP T: I feel sorry for you. You would rather live a life alone, die alone, not have kids, and never have that one special person to love and be loved by than grow up and put your heart out there. You can rant on and on about how being single is so great, but most ppl who do either can't get a girlfriend and decide they want to be single or are too big of chickens. I wonder which you are?
2007-11-07 04:56:16 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
WOW, lots of rude opinions on this one!! I honestly think it depends on what he did to make you mad. If he cheated on you, or was flirting heavily with a girl from work, or something like that, then sure, dinner and flowers is totally lame and inappropriate. If he blew you off for a football game with his guy friends, then i think dinner and flowers is actually an appropriate way to make up. Of course communication is the most important thing, so he needs to realize WHAT he did wrong, and he needs to apologize for it! Beyond that, i'm sure dinner and flowers is just his way of spending quality time with you and showing that he is truly sorry.
I LOVE going out to dinner with my husband, and to me, that's a great apology. As long as whatever he did wrong wasn't too serious. :)
If I were you, i'd try telling him what you'd rather him do instead of dinner and flowers. Let him know that you think it seems insincere, and tell him what you'd rather.
2007-11-07 05:34:47 · answer #3 · answered by Katie G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's the thing: everyone is a jerk sometimes. At least your boyfriend/husband/whatever realizes he is being a jerk and is trying to mend things. The real problem is when it seems to be a revolving door: he continually does the SAME THING over and over again! If that is the case, then he isn't really sorry for what he did, and it is time to either a)realize this is a character flaw that you will have to live with or b) realize you can't live with this character flaw and move on.
2007-11-07 09:18:59 · answer #4 · answered by missbeans 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A true sign of sincere repentance is that the person will stop doing the thing that they are trying to change. So a nice dinner and flowers is great, but it should be followed up by a change in behavior.
2007-11-07 18:34:01 · answer #5 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about you quantify what actually does make-up for us being jerks instead of us alway trying to guess what you constantly lack. Forgive me if I'm an idiot, but isn't the whole point that he's making an effort to try and make you feel better, not actually what he's making this effort with.
Maybe in return for your needs will then give you something you need to do every time you get upset at us for nothing, or cry over something insignificant.
The best policy is forgive and forget because no one is perfect, especially the person who is looking back at you from the mirror.
2007-11-07 04:59:14 · answer #6 · answered by Ilya S 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think it's psychological on their part. :) If it's something TRULY jerkish (cheating on you, lying about past marriages, etc.) nothing will make up for that. If it's something like a dumb argument about money, leaving for a full weekend to go on a fishing trip with the guys during the week that your baby is due, etc., then flowers and dinner usually do make up for that sort of thing. It doesn't excuse them TOTALLY from their words or actions--only time helps that--but it does help somewhat.
2007-11-07 04:57:56 · answer #7 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are extremely simplistic creatures and usually attempt to make up or "fix" things in very simplistic ways. Often, they don't even realize that what they're doing is being "jerky" as you call it; nor do they realize that many of the things they do could be construed as hurtful, annoying or frustrating. After the fact, they may even be surprised that you're upset with them. He's reacting to your anger and this is a good thing -- at least he's trying to make up in some way.
He probably thought taking you out to dinner and giving you flowers was a sweet and thoughtful act -- which it was. Unless he cheated on your or something similar, the way he chose to make up was most likely appropriate for whatever behavior got him into trouble in the first place. Men (as well as women) are going to be annoying and they’re going to have to “make up” at some point or another -- it just happens, that’s life. Be happy he’s trying to make up rather than being argumentative or stubborn. Sounds like he understood that you were upset, he took steps to make up for whatever he did to make you upset, and while it may not have been the most “creative” idea, I’m sure he meant well and probably thought you’d enjoy it and appreciate it for the thoughtful, considerate act it was.
And I don’t mean men are simplistic as in stupid. I mean that they tend to view things as they ARE whereas women have to muddy the waters with a multitude of inferences and “tones” and the like. This case is a prime example. The man did something annoying, he saw that, he understood what he did upset her, he tried to make up for it. Simple. And the right thing to do. Rather than accept his apology and move forward, the woman would rather get into the whole aspect of WHY he did something or why can’t he stop doing something and why can’t he understand what he did was worthy of more than dinner and flowers.
Men are simple in their views; women on the other hand tend to be over-analytical.
2007-11-07 06:23:07 · answer #8 · answered by Goddess 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
let it go sweetie isn't not worth holding on to..
don't live in the past and forgive
most men don't even know they are being jerks so any form of saying sorry with actions you should be greatful!
i mean your right it don't make up for it but why are you holding on to it so tightly!
i had this problem for such a long time! i let it all go and forgave my relationship is doing sooo well sometimes i'm mean to him but i don't treat him to dinner and movie and some tiems he is mean to me i don't get a dinner and a movie!
we tend to forgive each other! and let it go right away!
so i would give it a shot !
unless you want to be petty and ask for more out of his pocket but i would ask for a real appolgy instead of things!
2007-11-07 04:52:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Men in general dont show their love in the way most women want....we think buying things is the solution to all problems....I buy her diamonds, necklaces, rings, cars....its not trying to buy love, its just our way......
2007-11-07 05:44:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because females accept the offer. Men will give what women take.
2007-11-07 05:36:42 · answer #11 · answered by Vox Hardin 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋