How can I get mom to see that our house is NASTY?

Question

My mom and I live in an apartment. She refuses to clean it with me. She says she doesn't have time. It's got fleas and roaches and our dogs poop everywhere. There are stacks of garbage and boxes of stuff from when we moved in last year. I have flea bites all over me and roaches in my bed. I keep my room clean and I eat mac n cheese from the microwave for dinner while I wait for her to get home. I talked to her about it and told her I was embarrassed to bring friends over, but she says we'll just leave the door shut all the time so people can't see. Dad's house is clean all the time. I want to live with him and my sister. Mom says she'll take him to court if he takes me away from her. What do I do?

I'm going to be 11 on Nov. 25. I'm scared to talk to anybody. Daddy said he's gonna start taking pictures of the house when he comes to pick me up. He doesn't have a lot of money cuz mom takes him to court once a year for more money. I'm not supposed to know that. He tries so hard to do what's right. Maybe I'll talk to my step-mom. She doesn't like mom anyways.

I called my step-mom and told her what I thought about it. She contacted the right people. Someone is going to go into the apartment and say they're checking for fire hazards. If they find what they're looking for, then something called the White Foundation is gonna talk to Mom and tell her that I'm gonna go live with Daddy until she can keep the house clean for two weeks. Dad says he's gonna still keep taking pictures if she starts to slip up again or not. I sure hope this works.

Answer 1

Go Live with your dad. Your mother has a big surprise comeing. If she takes him to court over this your dads lawyer will have the fire dept declare her apartment a hazard and an unfit mother and she will lose her case.
Your other choice is to call the fire department and ask for an inspection in which case they might call child welfare and they will put you with your dad anyway.
What your mother doing is a health hazard and illegal and other women have lost their children over it.
I say go live with your dad. Unless she cleans it up she will lose her case.

Answer 2

Oh my. You poor dear. You should know that depending on what state your live in and if you are about 13-14 you can decide yourself what parent you want to live with and there's nothing she can do about it. I did this when I was 15. I told my mom I wanted to live with my dad and she said I couldn't but I knew the law and told her and told her there wasn't anything she could do about it. Talk to your dad about it and then check your laws. I really doubt if your mom would take him to court. If she's too lazy to clean the house I doubt she would be up to filing papers and paying lawyers and going to court when she would probably lose anyway considering how neglectful she keeps your home. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Depending on how old you are, and how your laws are in your state, but you can choose who you want to live with. What she is doing to you is called child abuse.
If your mom wants to take him to court she will definitely have to clean the house first.
That would have to be the grounds your father would charge against your mother; child abuse.
Due to a deplorable living situation for a child. They will probably send a mediator over to see the house, then the cat is out of the bag, your mom will have to clean the house.

Answer 4

If your dad is willing to take you---and it sounds like he is based on the fact that he's taking pictures of the house when he picks you up---you could have him call Protective Services and they would come check out the complaint and remove you kids if they see what you are describing. When that is done, they usually place the kids with the closest relative who is willing to take them who has a clean record---no reports of abuse or crimal background. There are other good suggestions here. The important thing is to talk to some adult somewhere.

Answer 5

It could be that she has OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). maybe you can get her to go to couseling with you. It may just not be possible for her to clean it. That is more than messy. Oprah did a show about it too. It is unimaginable that someone can be ok with living like that but obviously she is. Why aren't you living with your dad already? What does he think about how the apt is? Maybe he can pay for a maid to keep the place clean. If she is unwilling to clean it or get help then your only option is to clean it yourself or move out. I hope you guys can work something out. I think you should seek professional help.

Good luck.

Answer 6

tell your mom if she doesn't clean up your gonna leave,

Honestly , I have been there,

My mom was a mess,

I couldn't take it, and move into my own place,

Before i left I saved up my money and fix up her place,
got rid of the dog and then BOMBED the APT with Fleas killer,

And bought some Roach poison from the dollar store, and srayed that stuff everywhere,

and threw out all the Crap, even if she didn't want me to,

just little by little fixed up the place,

That old bag LOVED living in sqallor, and messed up the new place,

So I would Just advise you to clean up the place, as much as you can and throw out the stuff you don't need,

eventually, when you get rid of the dog the fleas will go,
and then the POO will be gone,
and the roaches , most landlords will spray, even GOVT will pay for them to spray as its a health hazard.

Good luck

trust me, this isn't the end, your gonna get out of this,

Meg

PS make her take some antidepressants,

Answer 7

Maybe you should tell your Mom that you can't live like that and it's your choice to live with your Dad, maybe she will help you clean things up. A sure cure for roachs is boric acid in powder form, home de-pot has it. it's about $4.00 and you just sprinkle it around the edges under the sink etc.It works!!!!!
You shouldn't have to live like that, sound's like your Mom is just brishing it off, maybe she doesn't understand the severity of it all.

Answer 8

Your father can take your mom to court, to request a change of custody any time he likes... and if the living conditions at your mom's are that disgusting, then the Board of Health can probably step in.

If you want to live with your father, then ask him.

Hon, some people live like pigs, and don't care what their environment looks or smells like.. perhaps it's time to call your father and ask him for help in a decent place to live.

Answer 9

Seroiusly have her watch an episode of "How Clean is Your House" i think its on TLC..Maybe if she sees some of those houses on it she may realize that (no offense ) yours is comparable to them.sometiem when people have lived like that for so long they dont realize how bad it really is..I know from experience with my own mother except I was grown and out of the house at the time,Also your mom may not realize that in reality you could possibly be taken away from her for those living conditions anyway

Answer 10

You need to do something about this. If you go to your school teacher or counselor they are mandated to call the Department of Human Services in your area and they will investigate. It would be anonymous, so your name would not be involved. Tell them and ask for their help. The conditions you are living in are not safe. You could become very sick. Take care.