I recently moved from a neighborhood in which we had a really big home and good schools. Money was really, really tight so I decided that it was better if we moved b/c I need to support 5 kids! I went from a $1450 rent to a $900 rent.The neighborhood we are now in is not so great but it isnt the worst either. I now have some money left over to take my kids out to eat and buy them some clothes and shoes sometimes. Well, I have been critisized from both sides of my family saying that I took my kids out of a good area and schools b/c of money and they call me money hungry. They disagree with my financial situation and think education is more important. They belittle me and this has made me very depressed to the point where I cry every night. Even my 14 y/o is upset b/c I took them into a smaller home and calls it a ghetto house.Its a new house and is not that small.She even has her own room but she was just used to the really big and flashy home we lived in.Was I a bad mom for this?
2007-11-07 03:20:05 · 37 answers · asked by mariah-cali 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sometimes in life a person must make sacrifices, this does not make them a bad person. Living beyond your means was hurting your family, you did what you had to do to fix it. Your life & your Choice.
In the grand schem of life, what others think is irrelevent.
Your daughter should also learn this lesson.
2007-11-07 03:44:46 · answer #1 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.
Honestly I Can't Believe Your Even Asking This.
You Did What You Thought Was Best For The FamilyAnd Now You Can Buy Them New Clothes Etc. You Control What Happens In The Family The Relatives Do Not.
The 14 Year Old Is Bound To Be Upset Because You Took Her Away From Her Friends And Because Of Hormones She's Basically On A Roller Coster. I Bet You Remember What It's Like When You Were That Age And Your Parents Did Something You Disagree With?
Stay Strong.
What You Use To Pay is Stupid.
Even Though The New Rent Is Better It's Still Absurd.
Good Luck.
xx
2007-11-07 03:27:46 · answer #2 · answered by Sallymander 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, of course, you moved because of money. Not because you were money hungry, but because you were money starved. You moved so you could better provide for your family. That makes you a great parent.
Your kids and family have to learn that it isn't the size of the house but the love inside the home. Would they prefer you stay where you were and spend yourself into bankruptcy and lose everything.
I caution you not to try to change their opinoin by overspending on going out to eat, presents, or whatever. Don't medicate the problem with gift buying. You'll be back in the same really tight financial situation you just came from.
Get yourself on a budget. Use the extra money to pay off debt, save to buy a home and plan for the future; yours and the kids.
2007-11-07 03:46:43 · answer #3 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you were not a bad mom...and when birthdays and Christmas roll around and gifts are there to be opened instead of nothing then you will need to make it known that they are only there b/c u saved money after the move...Some day your children will all understand when they have children of their own, you made a sacrifice also...don't be depressed, be proud that you are still able to provide for your 5 children! You are a wonderful MOM! Hold your head high and let the words of those other people roll right off of you, are they living in your shoes? Do they know what you go through in a day, week, month or year? No, so they have no way of knowing the things you went without until the move...As long as you are there to protect and watch after and provide for your children then things will be alright for you all...Just be proud and happy!
2007-11-07 03:29:15 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no, you need money not only so you can buy things for your kids but so you can treat yourself to. The last thing you want to be worrying about is money.
Kids of 14 always have something to complain thats what they do.
As for your family they should be supporting you through this as moving to a new area is not an easy thing for you to do. They should be able to see that it was the right thing to do.
Education is important, but so i being able to do things with your kids and not have to worry about money all time.
I dont really know what else to say over then i would have done the same thing if i were in your situation.
2007-11-07 03:34:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They may call you money hungry, but if money had gotten tighter, would you have left your children hungry?
Now that you have extra money, you may be able to afford some tutoring to support your kids in school, but if they try hard, it shouldn't make all that much difference that they have moved school.
Your 14 year old will get used to it, she's a teen and is probably upset that she now lives further away from her friends. She'll realise that you are trying your best for your family and I'm sure that the house isn't as bad as everyone's making out. Your daughter will realise that people like you and herself happen to live in houses similar to yours and she'll start to feel better and I'm sure you won't hear her complaining about the occasional treat you can now afford to give her!
Moving can be upsetting, but try to make everything as smooth for them as you can, making sure you have lots of fun with your kids so that they start to see the positive and not the negative side of the move.
2007-11-07 03:31:08 · answer #6 · answered by Steph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO you are not a bad mom -- you are looking out for everyone's best interests, and it seems you have some extra money each month now, too.
Your kids will adjust. Meanwhile, they need to realize that YOU are the person who is bringing home the bacon, and it's up to you to decide what is best for the family.
It's none of your family's business where you live or what you do. You are not living YOUR life in their behalf.. you are living it for you and your family. You can't control what others do, say or think, and right now, you might try to come to terms with this -- don't let them affect your emotions. It's not healthy. And in fact, you are ALLOWING THEM to "make you depressed"... hon, control your own emotions, hold your head up high and be thankful you have the means to raise your family in the way YOU see fit.
If others don't want to accept it, it's their problem, not yours. And your daughter needs to stop whining and moaning, act like a lady and accept the move... (and i'm sure she will eventually).
2007-11-07 03:28:10 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mom,
Lets Review: A mother decides that providing clothes and shoes etc is important and makes the scrifice (you also moved from a big house) to make it happen....wow what a tyrant-- you made the right call.
It is easy to ***** at you when your family is not the one that has to pay for these things. Education is important but if the kids are hungry, or cold because of lack of food and clothing it matters very little. You did the right thing, the hard thing, .......the parental thing.......good luck
2007-11-07 03:47:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. And remember you are the parent, and it it is up to you to make these kind of decisions. Was the other part of your family coming up with money for you to help you out? Well they should keep their opinions to their selves. Times are hard right now girlfriend. Gas, Food, Clothes and Utilities are not cheap. Kids will adjust to the new place and the schools. Be there for them and maybe sit down with that 14 year old and show her the expenses, show her the income in and the bill out and she may understand a little better. She is old enough and it could help her later in life.
2007-11-07 03:26:44 · answer #9 · answered by That 70's girl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Moving is hard on kids, and it's understandable that yours are upset for having to move, and change schools, but as a parent, you do what you have to do to make ends meet. They will get over it. As far as your family members go, if they can't keep their rude comments to themselves, you're better off limiting the time you spend with them. When they mention the importance of education, remind them that you have five kids to put through college, and the money you are saving on rent will help you with that. Good luck!
2007-11-07 03:31:39 · answer #10 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i dont think your a bad mum for making this decision at all, u as the adult and mother need to make these decisions, yes education is important sure, but if money is tight, then what can u do! u have to make the right choice for u and the family, and if that means moving, so u can afford to live more then so be it, ignore ur family's comments, at the end of the day u know best not them, and at the end of it all, as long as your kids get their heads down, study hard, then it dosent matter what school they goto, and im sure they will get used to there new home and surrounds, and plus this teachers them that sometimes we all haved to make tough decisons from time to time
2007-11-07 03:27:52 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋