Problems with my family?

Question

I'm 14 and.My sis has always been good with my mom. She tells her about her job,friends and her boyfriends and asks her for the advice.On the other hand,I was never that close to my mum and I doubt I'll ever be. I always liked reading and music,so I spend the time in my room doing that and I never get to talk to mum about the stuff that's worrying me.
When I was a kid,I spent the days with my grandparents til my mu get home from work,which is about 5 p.m. and then she needed to take care of dinner so she never had any time for me. And my dad is realy nice but I can't tell him my problems,you know...I can always hug him,but I think i have never told him that I love him. A couple of das ago I started crying cause I had some problems and mum heard me and came to my room and hugged me and said that I can tell her everything,but I sent her away. I'm not so close to her to tell her my problems. And my sister is.
So,I wonder,why is it that I don't have a normal relationship with her?

I've always been interested in music,but my mum hates the music I listen to... When i ask her what does she think about some song,she doesn't even listen to the song,she say good,but doesn't mean it. And I told her that I think she doesn't know anything about me,that my best friends know more about me as a friend and as a person than her. And she said it's because I never talk to her. And I'm really shy when it comes to guys,too. I turn the down ccause I'm scared I'll look stupid and dump them as soon as I start dating them. That's pretty stupid,I know...

Answer 1

You really shouldn`t compare yourself with your sister... I don`t have one so I don`t know what it`s like, and I have a great relationship with my mum, but one thing is almost always the same: They just want to help you. I think you should talk to your mum a bit more often, maybe tell her some things and see how she`ll react. Not all at once, but just try it and see how it goes. It`s perfectly normal to have such a relationship with your mum, I have an even weirder one with both my parents:/

Answer 2

You are not abnormal, but it seems you are more of a "private" person than your sister.

Hon, you can't compare yourself to your sister all of the time.. it's not good for you -- you are two, separate individuals who are different in many ways -- even though you are sisters...

If you need to talk, perhaps there is someone out there who you respect and admire, and who might listen? Someone you'd find easier to speak with?

I'd guess your Mom realizes you are more private than your sister. You might even try talking with her, if you feel it would be helpful.

We are all so different.... your relationship with your mom probably is not "abnormal" for you, the person. but if you would like better communication, you might start by talking with her about your day and what you did in school a few times a week.. Strike up a conversation. Practicing talking with mom might be a good start!

sending hugs