He cheated on my mom, NEVER paid child support, never came to my wedding, then disappeared off the face of the earth. I invited him to all my school stuff & made him homemade cards. Why didn't he want me? What did I do? Why doesn't my daddy love me?
2007-11-07 02:32:01 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Also never having kids. They suck!
2007-11-07 02:42:14 · update #1
I have the same type of "sperm donor". He left my mom with me when I was a baby and never came around again after that. I wouldn't even know who he was if I was standing right next to him. I used to be angry at him but now focus on how great of a mother I have. The depression that he caused me was a waste of my time and energy. I feel for you and hope that you realize it is not you, it's him.
2007-11-07 02:40:43 · answer #1 · answered by vnla2luv 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your father didn't leave because of anything you did. There is nothing wrong with you. You tried hard to have him in your life and if he didn't want to it's his loss not yours. My father was around but he wasn't the best father. There are many reasons why I should hate him, and I did for a while when I was younger. I also sometimes wished he was dead, and one day I realized that by me hating him I was hurting myself. I forgave him for whatever I needed to forgive him. Once I did that a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. You see he lived his life without regards to what he did and I was carrying the load of his mistakes. Well that just isn't fare. Don't you think? What I'm trying to say is that you need to let go of the anger and hate in order to be happy. Maybe you're not ready yet but one day you will be and believe me he lost out not you. Best of luck to you and I hope you find peace soon.
2007-11-07 03:00:29 · answer #2 · answered by cindy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to understand why he was never present in your life. If he could explain his reasons to you about the past and why he is avoiding you, then you wouldn't be questioning it. But you are left without awnsers and I know it can be hard to understand why. You must also understand that you are not the only one that can be going through something like this. Some kids wonder why their mothers or their fathers were never in there lives and it's not easy.Try to have courage and at least the strength to understand that this is something your father is choosing to do and it does not mean you are responsible for his actions. It can be tough, but as you grow older you can rise above and a better person as your father was towards you.
2007-11-07 03:49:45 · answer #3 · answered by lainexperiment2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father (if you want to call him that) has issues! It has nothing to do with you. Do not waste your valuable life and time hating him, he isn't worth the pain and effort. All you can do is concentrate on being the best person you can be to help others realize that it's not where you came from but WHO you are.
You can get the most from your experience by loving him anyway (from afar). Your love and forgiveness will make you WHOLE and be proof that we can rise above our circumstances.
You are forever scarred by your circumstances but you can use this awful experience and your feelings to be someone the entire world admires. My daughter has experienced the same first hand, no cards, gifts, telephone call, NOTHING at birthdays or Xmas. Only two meetings she can recall all of her life. She's 24 and the loveliest person you'd want to meet. The hurt does not go ways but she channeled her love/hatred to being an awesome person...ALL BY HERSELF! And you can too! Good Luck!
2007-11-07 02:52:07 · answer #4 · answered by Bridget W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon, please realize that the irresponsiblle and incompassionate actions of your father are NEVER your fault.
He is apparently a loser, and has a lot of problems. It's nothing YOU did, and i'm sure you are not the only person in his life he has chosen to abandon.
I'd say, take care of YOU -- and the bottom line is, if this situation is affecting your life in negative ways, please consider talking to a therapist... you really deserve good direction and some good coping strategies to get through this and to realize your father's actions have no bearing on you as a person.
sending love and hugs
2007-11-07 02:42:00 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i cannot say why he doesn't show his love for you but i can say that you are a good person. I will say that it is wiser but its in no way easier to just accept what is going on and forgive. He is you father and that means something so don't let his lack of participation get you down you did everything you could and he did not reciprocate. Stay strong.
2007-11-07 02:39:09 · answer #6 · answered by Paul H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he doesn't love him self. I know Lot's of dad's like yours and sometimes its better if they leave you alone. If he is a cheater and a man that doesn't care about his child you are better off without him. Wishing he was dead only causes you stress and pain let go and forgive him. You owe it to yourself to move on. My dead beat dad died when I was 12 it doesn't make it any easier. I had to forgive him that made it easier for me.LOL
2007-11-07 02:41:59 · answer #7 · answered by just me! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are not cut out to be dads. To be in a nurturing relationship takes more effort and commitment than they are able to provide. But people change. As he gets older, he may well realize his mistakes and try to reach out. I hope this happens in your case. Write to him, let him know how you feel and how much you love him. Hopefully, it will turn around sooner than later.
2007-11-07 02:40:09 · answer #8 · answered by Vic 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It has nothing to do with you, don't blame yourself or your mom...My dad stayed with us, he never cheated, never hit, but he never says I love you, he never visits me, I've been away for 2 years and hr never called me or even sent me an email...A lot of men are just morons who prefer giving up on everything instead of fighting for the one they love. The prince charming thing, it doesn't exist, don't blame yourself, he's an *** and you have a life to live, don't let him take that away from you!
2007-11-07 02:37:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He is probably too ashamed to face you. I am sure he realizes what a jerk he was. He is a coward who can't face up to his responsibilities. It is possible he loves you very much but feels he's made too much of a mess and is afraid to deal with things.
2007-11-07 02:37:38 · answer #10 · answered by Maria b 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋