Am I wrong for being angry at my daughters friends mother?

Question

My daughter is 13 yrs old and has been having some issues with a few of her friends.i give my daughter my opinion on things but leave it up to my daughter how she wants to handle things.Long story short my girl started goin out with one of her friends ex"s.They are young so i tell her boys will come and go.This friends mother recently got involved when my daughter was talking to her daughter and another freind about everything going on.She basically called my daughter trash and forbid her daughter from hanging out with my girl.so i stepped in when i saw her in my girls face and all h*** broke loose.she even went as far as to call this boys mother and he had to break up with her.My girl has been really sad latley.I jus think it was wrong for an adult to say such things in front of a child and to take things this far.The kids were working things out just fine on their own.Am I wrong in being angry?

the girls werent exactly fighting over the boy. that had som to do with it but my daughter is very strong willed and speaks her mind.it was pretty much over who said what about who behind their backs,,pretty much normal kid stuff..the mother is the one who was angry over my daughter going out with her daughters old b/f..she said something about my daughter taking everyones b/f which isnt true.. my girl is just very outgoing and well liked..Its just kid stuff and i think she went a little too far as an adult.

Answer 1

Your daughter's friend's mother hasn't matured much beyond 13 emotionally... so what do you expect?

There are many so-called adults who behave in this manner, and if they want to make idiots of themselves, who are we to stop them?

Meanwhile, i think you handled this properly in the first place... but when the other girl's mother got involved, you stood up for your own child, and i think that's OK.

I suppose that we all went through bumps and rough times when we were kids... and even though your daughter is sad, and having a rough time, i hope she will realize you love her and you are there for care and support.

Maybe let go of the anger you have for that other mother... and realize she's immature as they come, and you can't change her....

take care, and i'm sure you're a great mom!

Answer 2

No, you are not wrong at ALL. seriously how old is this girls mother, she should act her age NOT her shoe size...anyways i'm 14 years old and i just imagined myself in your shoes...and if I were you and someone got into my daughter's face, H*ll would break loose...and to take things that far...calling your daughter trash, i think there is some jealousy going on with the other girl...like you said boys come and go and if they don't know that then maybe she is teaching her daughter the wrong stuff...because that's like telling her to rely on a boy. I'm sorry for what happened and i hope that everything turns out right for you and your daughter....the most important lesson here is that your daughter will learn about who her real friends are and once she has done that she will grow a little more as a person...i'm kind of in that stage of my life right now and i'm finding out who is really a true friend to me. Good Luck!

Answer 3

NOT AT ALL!!! I have a 13 year old daughter and she has a friend who has been in trouble and her mother blames my daughter. My daughter has never been in trouble and wasn't there when the friend was caught shoplifting, but she still gets the finger pointed at her as being the cause. I believe that these girls have enough going on between them without mothers getting involved with the petty stuff.

Answer 4

Mom, it o.k, to be a tad bit angry, but never in front on the children.while i think that the other parent was DEAD WRONG for doing that, i also can understand that she is probably thinking that her daughter was sad, and that it was ur daughter that made her that way, so in turn she is MAD also.You have to install morals into your child at a young age. Make sue that you teach your child that FRIENDS are forever and that BOYS will brake up friendships if you let them. IT could be that both of them are sad, and he's sitting back with his ego on FULL BLAST!

Answer 5

It doesn't matter what people think. If you are angry, you are angry. It seems like the other girls mother stepped in at an innapropriate time and overreacted and you only stepped in to protect your daughter.
My only concern is that your daugter and her friend are fighting about a boy and they are 13. I'm not a mom so I can't say anything bad, but this seems a little young to me. I'm 26 and I didn't date until I went away to college. My mom wouldn't allow it.

Answer 6

I think I would let have let my 5th grader handle it, but you were not in the wrong by calling Lisa's mother. If you want my psychoanalysis, (lol) I think that the girls have had too much access to one another. When I was in elementary school, this happened to me, too. I was always over at my closest friend's house or vice versa, we were always on the phone together, and she did the same thing to me, pretty much. Kids can be cruel. If anything like this should ever happen again, let her handle it. Coach her on what to say/what not to say. She will grow into a strong, independent woman if she learns to handle these situations by herself. The sooner, the better. :-)

Answer 7

I would have handled the same as it sound like you did. You have a right to be angry but it will not take long before that mother interfers with the other children including this boyfriend. Other parents will see how she is and ignore her and things for the kids will get better. My sympathies go to this mothers child. She is the one who will have to continue to deal with her long after everyone else just overlooks her....

Answer 8

She certainly overreacted, but I think her anger was somewhat justified. Her daughter was probably very hurt by the situation. If it had been your daughter that felt hurt or betrayed by her friend, chances are you'd have been upset, too.

And I'm glad the boy's mother made him break up with your daughter- it's refreshing to see a mother teaching her son to have some respect for women- even when he's done with them.

Answer 9

I hate when my mother gets into my problems,so she doesn't do that anymore...
It's really kid business,she shouldn't have got involved in the first place.
You have every right to be mad at her,cause she hasn't got the right to tell your daughter that she is trash!
No one has the right to tell that to another person,and especially not to someone that much younger!
I know I'd be pretty upset if someone's mother told me that..

You have every right to be mad...

Answer 10

Not at all. That mother is a control freak. She is trying to live through her children and control everything they do. You have every right to be angry.