I pretty much have stopped talking about my personal life to my assistant (just me and her in our department) for the past year because I felt everything I told her about was an oblique attack on her part. According to her for example, my young son didn’t talk at the right age, I sold my home at the wrong time, I should have bought another car instead, I should have gone out to a better restaurant, etc. I say black and she automatically says white. Her son is a genius and I will be lucky if my son completes high school later on in life because he’s not reading and writing at 3 yrs old. You get the idea. Am I wrong not to be personal with her and keep it to business only?
2007-11-07 02:11:26 · 16 answers · asked by DAR76 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
For the record, I never asked her for advice on anything or started a conversation on my personal life, but if you are obviously pregnant, out of the office due to family illness or started driving a new car, people ask questions and it's hard to get around that sometimes.
2007-11-07 02:31:07 · update #1
Sounds like you have the best plan. Not sharing personal stuff with a co-worker is not being mean. keep it strictly business.
2007-11-07 02:15:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
No not at all. It's not wrong to want to keep your personal life out of the buisness scene. I mean, it would be nice if you had an assistant that you could share certain things with, like your family. I know you build a better relationsihp that way and it makes work a little more fun in my opinion, but that being said, it's not required or impolite to not want to talk about those things, especially if she is like that.
2007-11-07 10:30:48 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Um...No!! Who the heck is SHE for criticizing YOUR life, when she is your subordinate!!
Again, you are definately not wrong. There is a lack of respect on her part, but if you are asking your assistant about her opinion on your personal life, you are definately crossing boundaries in your working relationship.
I share personal info with my assistant as well, however, I never ask her for advice on 'life' issues, or get too detailed in anything, because there is always a 'role-shaking' that goes on when they relate you to you as an equal. Not that you're better than them or anything...but you guys are connecting on a personal level, so when a crisis comes at work, and you have to throw a bunch of crap at them last minute...they are more likely to get an attitude or become bitter towards you!
It sounds like your assistant is not happy at her place in life, even though she may talk things up. She sounds like she is elevating herself, despite her lower position than you, and BRINGING you down, despite your authority role over her to make herself feel better.
It's normal to share your personal life, but from now on, I would keep it breif, and positive. Don't share any of your weaknesses or problems with her. I understand she's your assistant, and supposed to be available for you whenever you need her...but she's not your therapist or your best friend. Save it for the people that really matter.
Hope this helped :)
2007-11-07 10:23:24 · answer #3 · answered by Ms.CherCher 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong. It is always better to keep work relationships about business only, especially when you are the only two in the department.
If she asks why you stopped sharing things with her, tell her you were tired of being critized because your decisions weren't the ones she would have made.
2007-11-07 10:14:56 · answer #4 · answered by startwinkle05 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong at all, I would keep as much as I could from her. Sounds like she has major insecurity problems. She is constantly comparing your life to hers because she's not happy. Since she is your assistant, I think she feels inferior to you, and perhaps making those statements about your life makes her feel that she's putting you below her. People like that are trouble makers, you are making the right choice in keeping your privacy.
2007-11-07 12:22:41 · answer #5 · answered by Bee Biscuits 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well,,,you not being mean, you just sharing your idea but your assistant has a problem. you know that you don't have to let her know about your personal life any more. she seems like a looser to me. what ever she said about your son and your life, no one in the right mind would say that so,, she's got Issues.
2007-11-07 12:42:53 · answer #6 · answered by mimi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate nosy people and that´s what she is! If you don´t start the conversations, and she just asks something, tell her it´s none of her business and to get back to work.
That, or start freaking her out by telling sick, gruesome stories (invented, i hope) about yourself and your family.
I did this in my office and was labeled strange and crazy, but I was so comfortable without interruptions and no sharing my lunch.
2007-11-07 11:07:34 · answer #7 · answered by odessyboina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think under the circumstances you are acting entirely normal. Who would want to converse with such a contrary person? Next time she quips in with one of those comments I would be tempted to say - it must be nice to have all the answers in life'.
2007-11-07 10:18:55 · answer #8 · answered by Maria b 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your right not to talk about your personal life. Noone wants to be criticized especially about their parenting tactics. your son should not be reading and writing at 3 years old unless he's a genuis.
2007-11-07 10:20:23 · answer #9 · answered by meira198 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I guess that depends on if you want to be friends with her. If anything I'd say some of those things are out of line on her part. I'd keep it business unless you're looking for her friendship.
2007-11-07 12:58:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋