help, my 2 year old is driving me to the edge?

Question

i'm a sahm that has no family around me and a husband that works long hours. My 2 year old son has got to be the most annoying, whinny, kid ever! He just whines all the time and he's slowly driving me crazy! My patients is wearing thin and accompanying the constant whining is the 2 yr old temper tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants. But between those two I think i'm about to loose my mind. Please is there anyone out there that can help me figure a way to stop the whining? or at least cut it down? Anything or any advice would be helpful. Because at this point i just wanna pack my bags and leave!!

Answer 1

You really need to find a babysitter and take some time for yourself. Even if it is one morning a week. As far as whining goes DO NOT GIVE IN!! He will persist a little bit but when he finally realizes it just isn't working he will tone it down a bit. There may be a little crying involved but it will be better in the long run. Ultimately it really does sound like you need some adult time. Good luck.

Answer 2

I'm a SAHM of 2 toddler boys ages 3 1/2 and 15 mnths.. So, whining is a BIG part of my day... I simply "ignore" the whining.. I ask my 3 yr. old what's wrong and to answer me.. That usually does the trick to NOT have a reaction to the whiney behavior this works for temper tantrums as well. My little guy he's just beginning to talk so if he wants something he will "whine" until I figure out what it is. I've started using pictures of items he typically will "whine" over. This has helped A LOT. I also engage my children in activities.. Like coloring, reading, computer time and other activities to keep the whining down.. Good luck

Answer 3

Honey, find your child a good mothers day out proogram at a local church so you can get a little peace and quiet. Join a Mommy and me program or get involved at a local church wit hthe women in the church. I have been in your shoes and know how you feel. If it werent for my phone and my BFF I would have gone crazy. It can get nuts. Every mother in the world knows what you are feeling. Get out and make some friends with kids. It is hard. I dont have any friends where I live but at least I can take him to the park and talk with the other moms there. I had my son enrolled in Mother's Day out twice a week where we lived before and it was great. Sometimes you just need to get away. When your husband comes home go for a walk or to the mall or even Walmart ALONE. Just ell him you are taking the car and go. For heavens sake dont pack your bags. That will not fix the problem but make it worse. Talk to a counselor because you might be depressed. I was. It is hard staying at home. You think that no one understands what you are going through and that you are wasting your life away or that you are somehow worthless. you arent. Call some relatives and talk on the phone. I call my grandmother that is 3 hours away at least 50 times a day. Heck, email me if you want. I do a lot of praying and a lot of crying. My granny always said, " All things are subject to change and this too shall pass."

Answer 4

Ok, when my 2yr old started to whine I did sit her down and tell her look, you are getting to be a big kid and we do not whine in this house, when she starts I tell her I cant hear her and it has been nipped in the bud most of the time. As for the temper tantrums let him and walk away into another room and he will stop. Also, let him know if he does throw a tantrum then he will be put in a trouble chair for 10 min and stick with it. Keep this a constant in his life and he will stop,eventually. The trouble chair is just a chair my daughter sits in with he hands folded in her lap facing a wall or closet. That has worked wonders for me so Good Luck!

Answer 5

Lol....I'm sorry..I don't mean to laugh, but you just have one child....imagine that times 4....along w/ fighting and "mom, he's doing this", "mom, she keeps tearing up my papers". Yes, sometimes I want to pull my hair out too....especially those few hours between the time the older two get out of school and the time my hubby gets home from work. But there just kids. There are those wonderful days when they're all getting along and playing nice and quietly...then you realize how in love w/ them you are.

I agree that you can't give into the whining. If you give in, then he's going to whine more and more when he doesn't get his way. He's 2 and he's testing his boundaries w/ you. If you consistantly do not give in to the whining, it will get less. But I'm sorry...it will probably never completely go away.

I'm wondering about your life situation....are you happy? It seems to me like you're really stressed out, and children can sense these things. Maybe talk to your husband and figure out together how you can get some time to yourself. I've only recently (a couple of years ago) had my mom in law move here. We had moved to a different state from all our family and friends. It was hard, but I never felt like "packing my bags and leaving". You need some help from somewhere before the stress gets worse.

Answer 6

I'm in a similar situation (2 year, no family near and husband often away for work). It really does your head in especially knowing there's little respite or help.

Firstly, you need to get some you time. Everyone deserves time off from work. When your husband is home are you able to have some time away? Make sure you do something for you and you alone.

When my daughter starts with 'the voice', I get down and tell her 'eye to eye' that I'm not able to understand what she is staying, and that she should use her normal voice. I just keep repeating this everytime and put a confused look on my face. When she finally uses her normal voice, I very animatedly, respond to her request. It takes time and you end up repeating yourself a zillion times.

At the next level, 'the voice' and crying I do the same thing - ask her to use normal voice etc. Also if it starts to escalate I let her know it's OK to cry and when she's finished and ready she should talk to me and let me know what she wants (afterall don't we generally feel better after a good cry).

When she throws a tantrum, I tell her that she's a big girl and needs to use words to tell me what she wants. Once again lots of repeating. If it's bad then I generally stay with her but pretend to busy myself with something else. They realize you're not paying them attention and eventually stop. When she does stop I again tell her the big girl use words thing.

Hope this helps and things improve.

Answer 7

Do not respond to him when he whines. Make him use a grown up voice, or he gets NOTHING. He does it because it works for him. Also because he gets a response out of you. Tell him you CANNOT understand him when he's whining...

Here is how to stop the tantrums, completely:
Prepare your child a "tantrum spot" in a room away from anyone else with a door. First of all, make sure this space is safe, because that's most important.

When he begins to tantrum, show NO response. Pick him up and take him to his tantrum spot. Do not have eye contact with him, do not respond or yell at him. Don't even talk to him. Set him down in the tantrum spot and turn and walk out. NO communication. Very importantly, shut the door.

If your child attempts to come out of the room, you will want to lock it or hold it shut. This is going to be a little emotional for some of you Mom's, but your child must NOT come out of the room until he's no longer angry/tantruming. When he is quiet or just sad, then you may go get your child and love him to your hearts content.

You should only have to do this method two to three times to get the tantrums to stop. It works with both boys and girls and is a tried and true method. There is no need to spank with this method so that part is nice too! Be consistent and this will work! Best of luck to you!

Answer 8

Take a day and spend it with him, not just 'babysitting' him. Sit on the floor all day, and do what HE wants to do. When you get up in the morning, force yourself to be a very happy person. Be the person who you would pay to babysit him. Someone outgoing, happy, patient and playful. Please don't take this the wrong way, because it happens to all of us...You're most likely just watching him while you do other things, like cook, clean, or try to relax. When he whines, he gets your attention. ANY attention is better than none. When he uses his words camly and without whine, drop what you're doing, and cater to him. When he whines, ignore him, but whatever you do, DO NOT give in. Set yourself up with a nice schedule, and pick out some toys that you're going to hide, and only pull out for your special time with him. Try using a crock pot to cut down on that evening rush.

Put a blanket over a table and eat lunch with him in your new cave. Keep him busy and he won't have time to whine.

I have a very structured schedule for mine, and as long as I follow the plan, they're both happier, and much less whiney.

Answer 9

Being the mom of a 2 year old who drives me nuts,I'll say you have to tell you to take a break alone once a week and just remember this crazy 2 year old faze goes as quickly as it comes.If my 2 year old whines I tell him he is going to have a time out and I make him stand in the corner.He doesn't stay there long but its enough to stop him from whining

Answer 10

my son is the exact same as yours. he whines all day long he gets into everything you tell him no he tunrs around and give me this look and then throws a tantrum. the only thing i can seem to do to get him to stop is to pick him up and put him in his room. i shut the door and walk away to relax. he calms down quick