why do guys not approach me?

Question

okay i dress modestly and im pretty quiet and paranoid.is it cause im ugly, fat and stupid.or what?

Answer 1

Fat and ugly are a state of mind, and there is little more attractive to many men than intelligence, so it's likely that the "stupid" would be hurting you the most...

But...

You are probably none of these, tho if you think you are, why would anyone else see anything different? The negativity is probably the whole problem. No one will care for, respect or like you if you don't. We teach others what to think of us and how to treat us. It looks like you are sending out the message that you are worthless. Change the thoughts and the results will change too.

Many very popular women are overweight, but they have personalities that men chase. They don't put themselves down, insult themselves or assume the worst. Many women who seem to have a natural attractiveness to men are not the stereotypical "pretty" at all, but fun to be with, bright, witty and the best of all... they make men feel good about themselves, about being in their company.

Work on your insides, sweetheart, as they often say far more than even your physical appearance and don't give up. There are a million "someone's" for each of us, but you will need to change your attitude to find them. Good luck.

Answer 2

Well... it could be that you are ugly, fat, or stupid... if you are ugly, fat, or stupid. That tends to be a turn off.

But for the sake of the question we will assume that you are none of these things. First of all... paranoid? Is that like bi-polar? Because guys can smell that from a mile away (the crazy) and want no part of it. A possibility

Also, are you smart? Because guys are often intimidated by intelligence. That could be something.

If you hang out in a particular group of girls that hangs out with a particular group of guys, then those around you might potentially be outshining you. Try looking outside of your usual flock for something new and different. Strike up a conversation about a common interest and start dating like it hurts to stop.

Or something like that. Good luck!

Answer 3

Guys like girls who are confident and goes after what she wants.. Why are you waiting for the man to approach you.. Why dont you approach the guy!! Its fun actually that way if you find one gentleman interesting than you picked him not he other way around. As for being ugly fat or stupid I do not believe that for a second.

Where are you hoping these men will approach you at? There are the right places and the wrong places..

try putting on something less modest if you are going out .. and more feminine.

Answer 4

If you wanna get a guy,
You don't have to look like a "10".
Yes, looks ARE what attracts us at first, that is true.
But what's most important is that you make the best of what God gave you
to work-with.
If you are overweight, that will make your pool of potential
guys shrink for sure, so if there is anything you can do to be in healthier shape, that would be a big help. Don't just do it to land a guy, do it because your life may depend on it! You don't wanna die at a young age of a heart attack, or diabetes etc. do you?
BTW I feel that too skinny is just as unattractive as being fat, no matter what women's magazines or hollywood may say. Make sure that you wear sexy, yet not trashy clothes, get your hair and makeup done. Look your best.
Ok, now that you have made the best of your appearance, you need to work on being approachable.
Get involved at Church, hobby related organizations, dance classes, community groups,
Volunteer groups, political organizations etc.
Also practice starting convos with guys wherever you happen to be, starbux, the supermarket, a bookstore, wherever.
When you see a guy you are attracted to, smile at him and look him in the eye.
Be friendly and flirty! Also, take the initiative. Start a conversation with guys. Ask us out on dates too! I've had it happen to me a couple of times and it made my day!
Be proactive!

Answer 5

You can only be you. Let me tell you I was always a "hotty" in days gone by. Seldom guys didn't know I was alive. I was too skinny and always felt stupid. You think maybe you are too mature, there is a guy out there for you. Just be patient. I met a wonderful boy and now have been married 40 years and have four great daughters. I married at 10. Don't count on your fingers cause' I'm just kidding. Be patient, and be you! P.S. I don't get how this contact thing works!

Answer 6

It's probably because you have that attitude - of being ugly/fat/paranoid.
A person's attraction level is based greatly upon their confidence level.
If you really feel that way, then people see you that way.
Get out and do things, participate in activities, volunteer, have fun and other people will respond.
Good luck.

Answer 7

It doesn't matter what you look like, or what you're wearing. The thing is, that in order for sex to happen between a male and a female, the female has to admit the man. You're in control. If you want to get a guy, be engaging. You can't expect guys to just randomly approach you, you have to make yourself approachable.

Answer 8

This is a rather difficult question to answer on the Internet...firstly, don't know you. Secondly, don't know what you look like and/or act like. as far as stupidity levels go, I wouldn't know that either, except to ask complete stranger a question like this will not get the answer you're truly seeking out. so this place is definitely not the place to ask such. Try talking to someone you know who is close to you and someone (another girl), you can trust. Or even your Mother/Father if they're close enough about issues like this one. If they aren't close enough about this topic, then make it so that they are. They already know you'll be getting involved with social issues that only they can help you with as you get older.

Answer 9

are you the kind of person that stands at the corner looking around waiting to be approached? You can't just stand there and wait you gotta put yourself out there. show that youre available and be confident. don't be shy. the sexiest thing about a woman is her confidence

good luck

Answer 10

Its probably because you look quiet shy parinoid and unsure of yourself. Try to stand up straighter, beleive you are beautiful (i know its hard but just try for one day!) smile more, and try not to think about who is looking at you. Just be happy and have fun wherever you go, and dont slouch your sholders. Beauty comes from within, and as corney as this sounds it is still very very true!