Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and awife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A: S**ual harassment.
Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A: £3.99 a minute.
Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The s*x is the same but the dishes pile up.
Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead?
A: The s*x is the same but you get the remote.
Q: What's the difference between Pee-wee Herman and O.J.?
A: It took 12 jerks to get O.J. off.
Q: How do we know God is a man?
A: Because if God were a woman, sp**m would taste like chocolate
Q: Why did cavemen pull their women around by the hair?
A: Because if they pulled them around by their feet, they'd fill up with mud.
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q: Why did God give men p*nises?
A: So he'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
2007-11-06 22:35:03 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Q: What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down?
A: Marriage.
Q: What are the small bumps around a woman's n**ples for?
A: It's Braille for "suck here,"
Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag you, what have done wrong?
A: Made her chain too long.
Q: How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they just sit there in the dark and b**ch.
Q: Why is a hurricane like a women?
A: It starts with a great blow, but when it's over your house and car gone.
Q. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Q. Why are men and parking spaces alike?
A. Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are disabled.
Q. Why are men like public toilets?
A. Because all the good ones are engaged and the only ones left are full of sh*t.
Q. What have men and floor tiles got in common?
A. If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over them for life.
2007-11-06 22:36:20 · update #1
They were fantastic hun keep them going lol.*
2007-11-06 22:58:27 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Very Funny
2007-11-07 00:29:43 · answer #2 · answered by BRIAN M 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well done, you! Mr Joker! You took the effort of writing a yard-long jokes. Some are funny but others are a bit hmm!
2007-11-06 22:44:51 · answer #3 · answered by Mysterious 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Funny
2007-11-06 23:43:42 · answer #4 · answered by Sparky 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
These are so funny! I must tell my husband these jokes when he comes home from work and finds the house still in a mess lol!
2007-11-06 22:42:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Funny! 10!
2007-11-06 22:43:50 · answer #6 · answered by cats 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
a brilliant call for you. Gosh what am i able to assert. i'm completely gobsmacked. That substitute into hilarious. it somewhat is taking me perpetually to form this answer cos i'm bowled over. i think of you knock the wind out of my sails. lol
2016-09-28 12:30:59 · answer #7 · answered by karcz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read these aloud in the office!!!
Went down an absolute treat - probably get a disciplinary hee hee!!!
2007-11-07 00:14:45 · answer #8 · answered by EMA 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha ha.!!!
Excellent ones on that list Chris.!!!
Got me laughing so 10/10.!!!
Cheers mate.!!
2007-11-07 03:03:37 · answer #9 · answered by JAM123 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
funny
2007-11-07 00:39:42 · answer #10 · answered by just me 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋