My partner and I have been going out together for 3 years now. I don't want to be with him anymore. He controls everything that happens in the house. He even controls who i call and keeps a check on my phone all the time. yet he won't let me go near his phone!
But i cant leave because i am scared he might get agreessive. What shall i do?
2007-11-06 22:01:36 · 19 answers · asked by k b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
know the feeling
2007-11-08 08:02:24 · answer #1 · answered by damian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are scared he might get aggressive he obviously has been aggressive. So you need to have a leaving strategy. Get a friend or relative to help you, or just go when you know he will be out for a length of time. If you think he may stalk you thereafter then you really do have a problem. There is always the womens refuge system, but a former girlfriend of mine went through that when leaving a very aggressive husband, and from what she told me I would not recommend that route.
2007-11-07 06:09:33 · answer #2 · answered by ketkonen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you really want out of the relationship then you will have to leave, if you have family that you can stay with for a while go to them and if you are worried that he will harm you then go to your local womans refuge their number should be in your local phone book or look online, i had a friend who's partner used to lock her in the house when he went out she was not a weak person but over the years he made her that way, with help from the people that cared about her she left him and is now in a very happy relationship with a baby on the way, there are people out there that can help you.
2007-11-07 06:17:05 · answer #3 · answered by tracie9630 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to someone at work about it or an older woman you trust they should know what to do I would think and maybe even give you a place to stay for a few days, tell him AFTER you have a place to stay b/c you sure don't want him getting pissed then you having to stay there in the same house, you could even move out while he is gone but if he came back that would suck
2007-11-07 06:18:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This guy sounds like a right a-hole. And you can do better than him, from what you've said he doesn't deserve you. You can't stay with him out of fear, if you're gonna stay with someone stay because you want to. If our roles were reversed, while he was at work I'd pack my things or leave. If you're scared of him getting violent it could be best, when you tell him it's over you could have a friend or sister/ mother with you. Not to protect you so to speak but to alleviate your fears.
But whatever you do, leave him.
2007-11-07 07:06:55 · answer #5 · answered by kahuna382000 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hate to say it but often when someone like that is so controlling and mistrustful its because they are judging u on their own behaviour. Perhaps he has something to hide and that is why he is behaving like this. Clearly the relationship is unhealthy if u are worried about him getting aggressive. There are groups that can help u. Try womens aid. if they cant help u directly they can maybe put u in touch with people that can.U need help in doing this properly so u r safe. Good luck x
2007-11-07 06:10:05 · answer #6 · answered by juicy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just get out of there, I was in an abusive relationship like that for 13 years, but you cannot do it until you are ready. I understand how you are feeling. Speak to refuge they should be able to point you in the right direction especially if you have no family you can go to
2007-11-07 06:07:21 · answer #7 · answered by Perfectly Pink 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why can't you leave him?How do you know he will be aggressive?Something he has said or done in the past must therefore make you feel that this will be how he will react.l think you shoul have gotten out of this relationship much earlier.But it is not to late.l am sure you would have support of friends and family if he turned on you.You will always have the law on your side.
2007-11-07 06:20:15 · answer #8 · answered by Ruby Jane 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to get out of that situation. Tell someone what's happening. perhaps someone from work or something. I'm presuming you have a job. Then once you've told someone. Tell him its over and then if he does get aggressive, at least someone will know whats going on, and know to keep an eye on you. But either way you can't stay with him. We're here if you need support, and you can email me if you need someone to talk to :)
2007-11-07 06:06:43 · answer #9 · answered by Notts Bubbles :) 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If leaving him is out of the question then you have to confront him about how you feel. Don't sit around and be scared of what might happen. You have just as much right as he does to do what you want when you want.
2007-11-07 06:07:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dang girl thats not good. if you have a time when you know he wont be there for awhile make ur move then. get a friend of 2 and have them help you. if hes not there then you wont have to worry about him. just make sure he will be gone one day for awhile and not come back when ur there. GOOD LUCK! dont let him hit you.
2007-11-07 06:09:52 · answer #11 · answered by mommie to be to baby boy! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋