Is she truly upset, or am I being played?

Question

I've been seeing a girl for about 5 weeks now, but we've only gone out 3 times, shes apparently been going through a hard time - her ex is stalking her, but half the time she ignores my own messages and i feel like i'm being played, so after about 4 days of ignoring me she finally replies, saying:

The intervention order has come in and its pissed him off so im not really feeling very good... sorry im such a **** around:-( how have u been?

and because im afraid of being played I replied with:

I feel like a tool, so im going 2 wait 4 u 2 show your interest, bcuz i cant handle this nemore babe, u may be upset but so am i. Cu soon ok?

And I got no reply from this message, this girl seems like a good catch but I don't want to get hurt.

Do you think she'll actually reply or do you think shes playing me, or did do you think i just told her not to talk to me again in that message?

but last tuesday she came over to my house for dinner so go figure, i doubt a chick whos playing someone would want to actually go over to his house

ah but she rocked up half an hour late and only stayed for 2 1/2 hours littlebethan, thats why I havent answered my own question.

From the answers gathered I can see my own predictament, half of the answers say shes playing, the other half feel shes havin a tough time and I should wait and some are undecided! At least i'm not alone...now lol, i'll post how this pans out in a couple days

Answer 1

It did come across a bit as you giving her the cold shoulder. Perhaps text back saying something like 'Look I really like you, and I appreciated your havin a hard time, but I'm gettin mixed signals from you and need to know if your really interested or just messin wit ma head' so something similar to what you've just put in that question. It does sound like she could be playin you, but at the same time, being stalked really depresses people, and they kind of go into a bubble, and so perhaps you need to show a tad more support. Either way, you need to tell her what you've just told us.

Answer 2

i wouldnt have said she was playing you no. but it does sound like she's having a pretty crap time of it. if her ex is causing her a problem by stalking her it might be that she switches her phone off for days at a time, and doesnt get your message til later.
if you ask me i think she will need someone around her but at the same time, she will be nervous, thinking is this guy gonna be just like my ex??
I think she might need some reassurance that you are not like her ex, as quite often women can get paranoid about blokes when we're treated badly. why dont you go over her house with a nice bunch of flowers and a dvd, romantic comedy or something light, and a bottle of wine (you are both over 18 yeah?) and ask her if she wants to talk at all, if not then say ok, how bout a dvd???
Give her a chance, at the end of the day, you can never know if she is "the one" if you dont take a leap of faith. yeah you might get hurt, but there again, you might become the happiest you have ever been!

Answer 3

I think theres a number of important issues here, any maybe your focus is wrong..

Relationships can be awesome, but they can also suck big time because you can very easily leave yourself wide open to getting your guts ripped out. But this is why they are so good, because they can also make you feel like a million bucks! (talk about love/hate right?)

I would say:
1. The girl obviously has some issues that she needs to deal with. And she may or may not need your support with them. Do you care enough about her to help and support her? If you do, then it could pay great dividends for your relationship, but it will mean some sacrifice of your feelings and time.

2. You need to know what you want. What do you like about her? Do you WANT to be with her, and by that, I dont just mean getting laid and having her look pretty on your arm, I mean do you want to lay YOURSELF on the line for her?

3. You cant be afraid. One of my fave sayings is "you only show your true strength when you are at your weakest". If you think you have a special girl here. Do it. Be passionate (Im a leo, its in my nature!). But people generally respond well to people giving a damn. Yeah, the fall will be harder, but thats why passionate people develop big cohones (balls) =)
Look at Gordon Ramsey =)

Decide if you want to take the plunge and be ready to reap the benefits or take the pain. It sucks. But at least its simple. But she could be something really good for you my friend...

Good Luck whatever your choice! ;)

Answer 4

I dont think shes playing you but i'm not sure if she will reply or not. If it was me, i probably wouldnt reply. You seem to come off a little insensitive of what she is going through right now. You never reallyknow what is going on with her stalker ex. She may even feel that avoiding you is better right now. Her ex may be the type that if he knows or sees that she is moving on and involved with someone else, who knows what he may be capable of.

If she asked for time, you should give it to her. There really is no reason for her not to keep contact through email, text messages, or phone calls, but she probably feels that since she doesnt have time to hang out, that you may assume she isnt' interested and she may not want to start something that will end up going in the wrong direction, because of what she is currently going through.

She may not feel it is fair to have you waiting for her. It could be a number of things going through her head and figures you will just move on and doesnt want to risk getting her feelings involved.

See if yall can talk, even if its only by phone. If your willing to wait, let her know. But dont expect her to give you a time limit and dont try to give her one. Just try to play the whole thing out by ear. Let her know that you care, etc. and are willing to go through what ever she is going through, with her. See what happens.

Answer 5

She's going through a tough time and tried to apologise i her last text. She's probably very cautious of men after her ex. I think you're right to not want to be strung along, but I'd talk to her about it and maybe get things a bit more stright. Sounds like she just needed a bit of space to get things stright in her mind. If it's had to go legal with he ex it''s going to mess her up a bit. Give her a call and arrange to meet, explain how you feel and give her another chance - just once more.

Answer 6

I'm not sure whether she is really upset or just played with you. Just wait till she reply your message, then think with your bottom of heart before you reply her message. show her that u're serious with her and if u feel that she is not serious (maybe you can check it out whether she just like to flirt with guys), then why you must wait for her.
There're so many girl outside there..
Good luck.. =]

Answer 7

Why ask a question when you've already answered with the additional info. I think you was quite mean to her on your reply, because on her message to you she pretty much said sorry for being a bit crap.

Answer 8

Looks like she is trying to get her ex out her life and get over him before she gets with you, seems she's being sensible and you need to be patient.

Give it a couple more weeks and see, can't hurt to wait if you think she's worth it

Answer 9

Hung up on her ex - at least for the moment! Playing - with an underlying sense of decency coz she has at least explained why! If she's worth it to you, wait for her to get in touch - after her ex thing is sorted!

Answer 10

well if you said cu soon , you must gonna see her soon, call her!!! or the next ime you meet her at least understand and find out what has been going on