We are having a wedding where alot of people will have to travel a long distance and we don't expect many of them to come. We are sending out save the date cards a year early, is there anything else we should do. Should we include a poem saying we don't want presents just there company but know its along way and undersatnd that it is a large expense that most wont be able to afford.
Any ideas or suggestions please am desperate
2007-11-06 19:06:19 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
There is no need to put anything "cute or clever" on the "save the date card" . . your card should include the wedding date, the ceremony location (city and state and/or country), your names, and the words "invitation to follow." and that's it. Please do NOT put anything about "travel expense" or "large expense" or "no presents." You are insulting your guests when you make a statement about "not being able to afford." Let your guests decide if they want to attend your wedding.
I do suggest preparing a "wedding web page" and/or a "wedding newsletter" for those guests who will be attending your wedding. The newsletter should include lodging or hotel information . . travel information . . weather information . . wedding schedule information . . emergency contact information . . or anything else that is pertinent and helpful. I also think you should mail out your wedding invitations at least eight weeks in advance of your wedding date.
Wedding statistics . . the average amount of guests attending a wedding in "another country" or on a cruise ship is 35 people.
Wedding statistics . . eighty percent of your invited wedding guests will attend your wedding and reception if the wedding is taking place one hundred miles or less from their front door.
Wedding statistics . . and only forty percent of your invited wedding guests will attend your wedding and reception if the wedding takes place over two hundred miles from their front door . . and only twenty-five per cent of the wedding guests who RSVP "cannot attend" will send a wedding gift to the Bride and Groom.
Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
2007-11-06 23:21:13 · answer #1 · answered by Avis B 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
When it comes to wedding gifts, technically, the people getting married should not be the ones giving the gifts. If you (feel you) must give gifts, give them only to the wedding party and the rest in trinkets and see if you can get it to have meaning. My friend did that at her wedding and everyone was happy. (She is Russian, so they had tiny wooden matryoshkas as trinkets.(see link below)) If peope ask you what you would like as a gift, then you can say that money is always welcome. If you plan on spending the money on stuff you need anyway, (like kitchenware, furniture, etc.) for when you move into a house/apartment, then you can start a wedding regirstry online. Most are usually free. This way you get what you want. Gift registries work by you either going to a store, (or checking it out online), scanning the product you want, and it automatically gets uploaded to your wedding list. You email the list to your guests and they buy whatever they chose. The cool part is, if someone bought you an item, no one else can buy it, so you won't end up getting three toasters you didn't even want to begin with. (Con: the cheaper items go fast, so if there's anything too expensive, it will probably not get bought, so hopefully you'll get enough money to be able to buy it yourself.) If they don't have wedding gift registries, you can also make a wishlist. It's the same thing with a different name and I know for a fact that many, if not most, retailers have those available online. P.S. When money is given as a gift it should only be from someone older to someone younger, otherwise it can be considered an insult.
2016-04-02 22:00:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just send the save the date cards. If they can't make it they'll let you know and will at least send you a card and their best wishes and congratulations. Everyone realizes that when weddings happen a far distance away that sometimes not everyone can get there. I have a few people who just couldn't travel the distance to get to my wedding, and it's understandable. They all sent some kind of sweet, generous gift, their gratitude for the invite and their best wishes. I wouldn't go with a poem or anything other than the save the date card. When they get the actual invite down the line they will know what they can or cannot do.
2007-11-07 01:43:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Save the dates are a great way to help people plan. I would call a local hotel and ask about blocking rooms at a discount, also consider having people fly into a larger airport that may be slightly further away and arrange to pick them up or have someone do that. It could save money, but DO NOT make a big deal about the expense. It's your wedding and if people can make it then yea, but it's not up to you and by saying things about money could cause hurt feelings. Your family/friends finances are none of your concern. Maybe consider having a small family reception in the state/town your family lives in after the wedding. Either way good luck and CONGRATS!!
2007-11-06 20:04:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
We were in the same situation. Just send out the save the dates well in advance, like you are doing. Dont add any extra message about gifts or anything. The thing is, they know that you know that most of them cannot make the trip-- they are not going to feel bad if they cant come. It would be in poor taste to mention anything about this. Dont do anything more than the save the dates.
A few people might come, often they will combine it with a vacation.
2007-11-06 19:19:36 · answer #5 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Another direction you could take is to turn it into a "destination wedding" by promoting some interesting things about your area. Make it sound like a fun place to visit. I live in Arizona, and although I live in a small town, I brought up all the cool things people could see within a couple of hours. Several of them made vacations out of it. You might be surprised how many people want to come because they love you and want to support you, and the attractions will be a nice bonus.
2007-11-07 08:24:06 · answer #6 · answered by dingding 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just send a save the date card. contact a local hotel and ask for a group rate and with the save the date card include another piece of paper with the hotel, address, phone number, group rate for the date of your wedding.
dont assume people cant afford it and dont assume people wont come. it is not your place to do this.
also, if they do come, plan to include them in the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. when my brother got married my parents paid for a rehearsal dinner for over 60 people that included all the out of town guests.
2007-11-07 03:04:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like a good idea. Don't put it on the save the date though... The save the date only needs the date of your wedding. "The only presents required is your presence. Please do not feel like you must give us a gift!"
Also, include a list of things to do and attractions as well as hotels in the area.
2007-11-07 04:28:06 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We also had family travelling from a distance, and when people asked us where we were registered or what gifts we would like we said to them at that point that we just wanted them to come and that we were not registering anywhere, that our gift would be their attendance. You could also have your mother and mother in law to spread the word among the family invited, I don't think a poem is necessary really, and whatever you do, do not mention money!
2007-11-06 22:13:10 · answer #9 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I guess its okay to put the poem saying that their company is far more important than any gifts. But please make sure that it's polite enough, so that they don't take it that you're not gonna like their gifts.
I believe another appropriate gesture would be to offer any help for transportation to/from the airport/seaport/train-station. You might want to leave a few contacts, or even offer to call them, if they require any assistance, since you know it's budgeted, and of course if you can afford =)
You might also want to let them know that you'd be helping to arrange accommodation (not paying for them though). All these have to be done, because although you're the star of all these events, they're still your guests and you're the host. So do whatever you can as a host of your wedding and as a host of your country =)
by the way......CONGRATULATIONS =)
2007-11-06 19:14:39 · answer #10 · answered by Peace =) 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋