She is hurting herself!!?

Question

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ajxp0rHXfaff8K60Ia6OhqEgBgx.;_ylv=3?qid=20071029152256AAd3pCt

I asked that question and followed the answers advice. But it didn't really work, she now really hates me and she's started self-harming. Is there anything i can do?

Answer 1

Her self-harm is her decision. You are not the catalyst for this. She has deeper issues which are not resolved.

Encourage her to seek help. Tell her point blankly that you are not qualified to solve her problems. Only a professional can give her the support and help she needs, not you.

Then move on with your life without regret or guilt. You must think of your own health and happiness. You have done nothing wrong. Remember that. Relationships end. That's the facts of life.

Again, tell her to seek help, do not feel guilty, and have yourself a happy life.

Answer 2

It sounds like a cry for help and she doesn't know how to be without you. Self harming is a attention grabber, I think she feels if she does this it will make you feel guilty or push you to thinking that you should stay because if you don't she might go farther. My ex boyfriend tried this one, as self harming or suicide threats for no matter what reason should never be taken lightly, and I called the police worried he was going to do something and they did a welfare check on him. Luckily in my case, one night in jail and a talk with a therapist the next day to make sure he really was okay, convinced him this wasn't the way to go about it. On the other hand, if there are serious problems past my experience, a professionals help is the best - even if it was unnecessary in the end.

Answer 3

This girl definitely needs some help. Self harming can be very dangerous.

If you're able to maintain communication with her (you said she currently hates you so she may not be responsive to you or anything you say) if you can get her to see a doctor that would be the best thing. Otherwise see if you can talk to someone she trusts like a friend or maybe even a family member and have them talk to her, it is important to try and address this problem as soon as possible and seek her professional help. It is possible she just needs someone to talk to and this is a cry for attention, however this is usually unlikely as self harming is a significant factor that indicates depression, anxiety or even possibly the pathway to suicide.

It sounds like this girl had some serious emotional issues that existed before you made your decision and you must remember not to blame yourself for her problem. Although the break up may have made her upset, a rational and mentally well person would not react in this way to your decision and is an indication that she is unwell and needs help.

I hope some of this has helped. It is important to remember that it is not your fault nor your responsibility to ensure she gets well and follow this through, you need to look after yourself as well, but definitely either get her to a doctor or tell someone who may be able to.

Answer 4

If her life is empty without you then she needs to get a grip and a hobby if her hobby is self harm,tell someone that should be taking care of her eg family member.
You dont need this in your life.Sad i know self harm is sad she needs medical help,time out.
She cant expect you to fill the void in her life.
Some life counciling would do her the world of good.I have worked with peole that self harm they need alot of time and proffesional TLC.
Tell her family whats going on if they want to help her then they are the ones to do it.
If you decide to be her crutch then your in for a long painfull ride.
Keep it plane and simple for youself people have to take responsibility for themseves.
i wish you well lol rach

Answer 5

No, there is nothing you can or should do. You are not responcible for her actions. She is blackmailing you now. That's called emotional blackmail.

Otherwise, what else do you do? Stick with her for another 5 or 25 years until SHE decides to move on?

That said, get out of her face. She hates you, it's natural. You can't have it both ways. She needs to get her mind off of you.

Answer 6

Tell her take a reality check !!!
If she wishes to self harm its upto her.
But get out NOW cos she will try to control you forever, dont mess your life up.
By leaving her you will probably do her a favour in the long run, by making her face upto things.
Its harsh but true...... sometimes you do have to be cruel to be kind !

Answer 7

this is so wierd. i just went through something EXACTLY like this, but i didn't say anything and i lost them both, anyway, self-inflicted pain is a form of emotional relief. i used to cut myself, but when i saw my girlfriend cry from it, i stopped immediately, not only because i love her so much, but because of all the guilt it caused me. you could show her how much this hurts you and that might make her stop, or it might have the opposite effect being it might make glad that you're suffering from this. so you could either show her how much this hurts you, or you could just leave her alone. it's almost impossible to know how she'll react to whatever you do.
but whatever you decide to do, i'm hoping for the best.

good luck

Answer 8

Self harming is a cry for help, you need to try and convince her that she needs to see a doctor, persevere because very often this can lead to much more serious consequences.

Answer 9

Talk to your Psychologist or a Councilor; ask help from your family and friends that know her too well. If she still resists it’s up to her, I think she wants to be helped but denies it (why would you harm yourself for no apparent reason?). You love her don’t you (why would you even write this?) ask about her past it might be related to a horrifying experience. Earn her trust, be reliable, be there for her and never give up hope (ask HIM for help).

Answer 10

well, i read both questions and all answers, but i think the final answer is yours and the choice is yours, if you wanna stay with her, then you need to forget about the other girl, if NOT then just tell her the truth and explain how things are not working out between you two.
Good luck!